10 Blaise Debeste’s Song

Notes

CT: When I was first writing “From the Darkness of Night”, it originally featured Blaise and was titled “Make them Disappear in the Night”. However, when I was writing “Disbar Mr. Edgeworth”, I found “Oogie Boogie’s Song” and knew that it would be a much better match for Blaise’s character. After all, it’s a song sung by a creepy, sadistic monster that hides in the shadows, makes people he hates disappear, and has his henchmen do all his dirty work for him.
Though regarding this parody, it’s based off the movie version of the song, not the one from the official soundtrack. So if you’re wondering why I didn’t include the part where Boogie sings about cooking Santa into a batch of snake and spider stew, that’s the reason.

JP:As if there were any doubt about my co-pilot would be lending his brand of comic genius to take a turn to the dark side in a parody as titillating and creepy as theorginal? The answer of course, is YES! Bwahahahaha!

“Blaise Debeste’s Song”
(Sung to the tune of “Oogie Boogie’s Song”
from Disney’s The Nightmare Before Christmas)

[Edgeworth is defeated. He tried his best and put everything he had on the line, but he wasn’t able to prove Kay’s innocence.]

[Now, after seeing his young assistant hauled off to the detention center to await her trial, Edgeworth stands alone in the dark P.I.C. boardroom. But suddenly, a bright light breaks the darkness as Blaise Debeste thrusts open the door before sauntering into the room.]

{Blaise}
Well, well, well,
What do we have here?
Mr. Edgeworth, eh?
Oh, so scary! So scary!
So you’re the little prosecutor who keeps getting in my way?
Ha ha ha!

Y’know, this is funny, real funny,
This has gotta be a lie!
My lackeys,
Were bested,
By this snooty, smarmy guy?
He’s rigid,
His coat’s pink,
He’s so very unversed!
I might just burst out laughing,
If I don’t start crying first!

When I think that you’re,
A little obstacle to my plan,
You’d better start running,
‘Cause I’m the P.I.C. Chairman.
Y’know, you’re a real moron,
Whose ideals are foolish and wrong.
But y’see, that won’t matter for long,
‘Cause you’ll disappear after this song.

Ohhh! (Ohhh!)
Ohhh! (Ohhh!)
Ohhh! (Ohhh!)

I’m the P.I.C. Chairman!

{Edgeworth}
You’re a monster, Debeste,
With a heart as black and dark as night.
A soulless, sinister devil,
Who probably burns in the sunlight.

{Blaise}
So angry,
So naïve,
He actually thinks I freakin’ care!
Why don’t you shut up,
Before I drown you with my tears.
Y’see, you’ve squirmed,
You tried,
But I saw right through your bluff.
So now that your hopes have been shattered,
I’m gonna do my P.I.C. stuff.

Oooh, the thrill of the kill,
There’s nothing that can match,
‘Cause I’m the sadistic Chairman,
Who likes to bite and scratch.

I always get a happy feeling,
When I’m ruining a life.
Yours, my stupid son’s,
And previously my late wife’s.

{Edgeworth}
You won’t get away with this, Debeste,
For one day you’ll be under arrest!

{Blaise}
Y’know,
I laugh,
‘Cause that you’ll never see!
They’ll put on your epitaph,
How you kept on defying me.

You’re defeated,
You’re done,
You should be filled with fear,
Because I’m Blaise Debeste,
And you’re gonna disappear.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!