40 Can You Please Get Me a Stepladder?

“Can You Please Get Me a Stepladder?”
Sung to the tune of “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?”
from Disney’s Frozen

 [It’s a regular day at the Anything Agency about six months after Apollo was hired and the young attorney is spending it sitting on the couch, reading over a case file for an upcoming trial when suddenly Trucy approaches him.]

 [“Hi, Polly! Can you do me a big favor?” Trucy asks, widening her eyes and smiling in an attempt to make herself look cuter.]

  [“Trucy, how many times do I have to tell you that I don’t want to be a part of that new Flaming Coffin of Doom trick of yours? I don’t care how important it is for your next show. I have a big trial tomorrow and I can’t acquit my client if I’m burned to a crisp or sawed in half.”  Apollo responds with a disgruntled tone, narrowing his gaze at the young magician.]

  [“I know that, Polly. That’s why I decided to swap out that trick for the Balloon Animal Flurry one.”]

[“Then what favor are you asking me for?”  Apollo asks with a look of dread on his face.]

[“Well, I can’t do the Balloon Animal Flurry trick without my air pump, but I can’t reach it.” Trucy states, gesturing to a pump on a shelf that is much too tall for her to reach on her own. “So can you help out your favorite magician by getting me a stepladder?”]

  [“There’s a regular ladder right outside in the hallway from when I was forced to paint the office a few days ago. Why don’t you use that?”  Apollo suggests, prompting the young magician to burst into song.]

 {Trucy}

Polly,
Can you please get me a stepladder?
I need to reach the highest shelf.
You’re my lovely assistant,
So go bring me one,
I can’t do it by myseeelf!

You’re my best friend,
But yet you hate stepladders,
And how they bend at the eeend!

 Can you please get me a stepladder?
They’re the best kind of ladder.

  [“Trucy, I don’t hate stepladders. I just don’t want to bike halfway across town to the hardware store just to buy a more expensive version of a ladder that’s right outside the office.”  Apollo states, flashing the young magician a disgruntled look as she continues her song.]

 Can you please get me a stepladder?
They’re a jack of all trades.
If you go get me one,
I’m sure you’ll be popular with all the babes!

Would you be so cruel,
As to let me risk getting hurt,
While Igo get that toooool?

[“Yes, Trucy, because women are naturally drawn to men who favor stepladders.”  Apollo snidely replies with a roll of his eyes.]

[“They sure are, Polly! Just look at Daddy.” The young magician confidently states with a grin, tipping her hat slightly downwards. “Why, just last week, we went to the nearby cafe and the owner, Ms. Anita DeCaffie, told Daddy that he’s, and I quote, ‘a sexy DILF with bedroom eyes’ and that she wouldn’t mind seeing his stepladder. But then again, she probably wasn’t talking about actual stepladders, but rather-“]

[“I don’t need or want to hear any more, Trucy.” Apollo dishearteningly remarks as his ‘horns’ droop. “I don’t care how many women think that Mr. Wright’s attractive. I’m not buying you a stepladder, and there’s nothing you can do to change my mind.” The attorney sternly states, causing Trucy’s demeanor to become much more serious as she hides her arms in her cloak, staring at him with her big blue eyes before proceeding to sing in a more threatening tone.]

 Polly,
Don’t forget that I’m one of your bosses,
Someone who determines if here you stay.
So do whatever I say,
Or I’ll severely cut your pay.
Just do iiit.

 We were glad to hire you,
But defy me and you’ll be through.
The choice is up to yooou.
So, can you please get me a stepladder?

[“Fine…”  Apollo sighs in resignation as he gets up from his seat and slowly trudges towards the door.]

[“Yay! Thanks, Polly!”  Trucy chirps, enthusiastically waving at the forlorn attorney.]