(He’s) Not The One I Dream Of

JordanPhoenix; CzarThwomp

27 (He’s) Not The One I Dream Of

Notes

JP: I know my last homage to Miego (Forever Thee) was depressing (and not just because of my Spanglish!) so consider this my atonement parody to our wonderful readers, which focuses on the earlier, more adorable days of this epic romance. It goes out to Aikoya and all Mia X Diego fans everywhere!

CT: For those of you who had a hard time reading my cowriter’s last touching parody involving Mia and Diego on account of all the tears obscuring your vision, here’s one that’s a bit more upbeat. But even though this song’s a whole lot happier, it still captures the feelings that Mia felt for her coworker that was as hot as the coffee he drank practically every second of the day.

“(He’s) Not The One I Dream Of”
(Sung to the tune of “I Won’t Say I’m In Love”
from Disney’s Hercules)

[A newly christened “kitten” at Grossberg Offices has been a case of the “lady doth protest too much” for the past month regarding her not so hidden ardor for a certain Rico Suave, Defense Lawyer to her starry-eyed baby sister and intellectually attractive BFF]

[Maya: That Diego is such a hunk! *swoons*]

[Mia: Hmph! That D stands for “Don” … as in “Don Juan” – since he shamelessly tries to woo anything in heels! It’s revolting!]

[Lana: Jealous much? I’ve never seen you get this worked up over a guy before, Mia! He may be a flirt – but he’s totally hot for you! Why don’t you just admit you’re into him, too?]

[Mia: *huffs* I am NOT worked up, and I refuse to become yet another conquest for that blasted man!

[Lana + Maya: *smirk* Someone’s got a serious case of denial!]

[Mia: Objection! I have no interest in macho, womanizing, Latin lover types! Diego Armando doesn’t do a damn thing for me!]

[Verse 1: Mia]

Were there a plaque for largest ego
I have no doubt he would win that
No skirt escapes all his flirtations
Except with me, they all tend to fall flat!

[Bridge 1: Maya & Lana]

Stop with the self-fibbing
Girl you like him say that you do
There’s no point in lyin’
Honey we can tell that it’s true!
(Oh nooo)
Mia just reveal it
There is no concealing
Who you’re dreamin’ of

[Chorus 1: Mia + Maya & Lana]

Enough, I say!
No confessions, no way!
(Why must you lie?)
(We know you’re lovin’ that guy!)
I must say nay!
He’s not the one I dream of!

[Verse 2: Mia]

It can’t be love, at most, obsession
I tend to smile when he’s about
He makes me blush like I’m a school girl
I’ve said too much, I’d best shut my mouth!

[Bridge 2: Maya & Lana]

(Ohhh…)
We’ll both keep on prying
Till you admit how you’re feeling
No point falsifying
Cuz you find this man appealing
(Oh, no)
Own up like a big girl
That he makes those toes of yours curl
So gosh dang freaking bad!

[Chorus 2: Mia + Maya & Lana]

Enough, I say!
No confessions, no way!
(That sigh, that grin)
(You’re one smitten kitten)
I won’t be swayed!
He’s not the one I dream of!
(But we insist)
(You two fit like a glove!)
That’s not the case! Enough I say!
Look at this face! I won’t confess!
(Girl, sing it loud!)
(He’s the one you dream of!)

[End verse: Mia + Maya & Lana]

(Ohhh…)
I can’t tell him…
He’s the one I dream of….
(Shoo do, shoo do, shoo do, shoo do)
(Sha-la-la-la la la, ahh)

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