38 Inga’s King of Khura’in
“Inga’s King of Khura’in”
Sung to the tune of “Petey’s King of France” from Disney’s
Mickey, Donald, and Goofy: The Three Musketeers
Some say I’m nasty and crass
That I’m rude, and an ass.
You wanna know why I’m a prick,
Here’s my reason why:
After my marriage was forced,
Wifey yelled:
{Mocking Ga’ran’s voice}
Why me?
He’s such a bother!
Holy Mother,
His manhood’s a little flea!
{Mocking Amara’s voice}
Inga’s brutish,
He’s a slob,
He’s an impious, foolish snob.
Shut up, in-law,
‘Cause I’ll claw,
To get what I want!
So I’m a jerk,
So I’m mean,
I’ll be king,
And’ll be seen!
You’ll be dead,
After I overthrow that cantankerous queen!
Ha!
If ya can’t be nice,
Be feared.
Don’t take follies twice,
Have ’em speared.
Rule with an iron fist,
And you’ll surely be revered.
I’m so excited,
I feel wise,
And with my spies,
I’ll surely rise!
I’ll pull the strings,
Give me nice things,
‘Cause Inga’s King of Khura’in!
I’ll pull the strings,
Give me nice things,
‘Cause Inga’s King of Khuraaaaaaaaaa’in!
[“Hey, why are you all laughing?!”]
[The following singing witness testimony of one, Jean Armstrong, sole proprietor and chef of the restaurant Trés Bien, has been stricken from the court records of the State vs. Maggey Byrde trial by unanimous decree of His Honor, Jughead Chambers, The Prosecution, Defense Counsel and Detective in charge. This was due to the reasons of Mr. Godot nearly choking on his own hot beverage, Mr. Wright suffering insurmountable nausea, and Detective Gumshoe alarmingly declaring he’d never eat again, despite existing entirely on a diet consisting of nothing but Ramen noodles. This transcript is the only known remaining copy]
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