85 Maya Mia
“Maya Mia!”
Sung to the tune of ABBA’s “Mamma Mia”
from the musical play/movie
“Mamma Mia”
Kingdom of Khura’in Detention Centre – May 2028
“Why do you insist on risking your life for a woman that was merely your old office subordinate?” Rayfa demanded of Phoenix, hands on her hips. “Maya Fey was naught more than your underling, was she not? How is her life more important to you than your own?”
“She wasn’t just my employee, Your Benevolence. Maya was – is! – my friend. My best friend. So of course, I care about her, and it’s only natural I’d want to do all I could to save her life!”
“What cockamamie custom is this?” Rayfa snorted. “Befriending the help? What nonsense!”
“Don’t you and your parents care about your palace servants?” He tried another angle with her. “How about Nayna, your pocket internet? Surely you care about her at least?!”
“How dare you compare that… Philistine Foreign Spirit Medium … a mere commoner, with my Nayna!” Rayfa clenched her fists. “And of course, my parents treat our servants as well as can be expected! They all get new uniforms twice a year and only work a half-day on their birthdays!”
Phoenix sighed deeply. Trying to rationalize anything with the hot-headed teen was purely an exercise in futility.
Attempting to reason with this girl only leaves me as hopeless as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest!
“Well, to each their own, I guess. I may not be able to convince you that Maya isn’t guilty, but I know this woman! She couldn’t even stab a French fry with a plastic fork! Ergo, I believe in her… and it’s all aboard the Phoenix Freedom Express!”
“Hrrnh!” The Lolli princess huffed sullenly. “I don’t like the sound of that Phoenix Freedom Express one bit!”
“Why would you have an objection to that? Do you know what the Freedom Express means?”
“Augh! Of course, I know! D – Do not presume to know what I do not know!” The mini rage monkey glared at him. “What I still don’t know is the real reason of your persistence in risking your own life to save this woman! Is this truly how you Americans are with all your former underlings? With those who are just your friends?”
“Well…” Phoenix felt himself beginning to sweat-drop. “Maya and I… it’s complicated. We have a long history, you see. Her late sister was my mentor! Her little cousin sees me as a father figure of sorts – and is best friends with my daughter!”
“You have a daughter and you still would die for this woman?!” Rayfa eyed him incredulously. “I question your sanity, Barbed Head! Explain yourself at once!”
“Maybe me talking isn’t going to give you the answers you seek…” Phoenix hedged, then put his hands on his hips and smiled confidently as inspiration struck. “Perhaps I can try to explain her – my – our dynamic a bit better in song…”
I’ve been assisted by Maya since I don’t know when
But now she’s being framed for murder again
Someday, somehow, she might catch a break
I don’t know how … but she needs a real lawyer, so …
There’s a Wright right inside her soul!
Just one look with the magatama thing,
Just one look and Wright can see everything,
W-o-o-o-oh…
“Jumping elephant fleas! Nick?!”
“Jiminy Christmas!” The startled spiky-haired man spun around and found the thrice homicide accused standing on the other side of the glass, gaping at him. “M – Maya?! What are you doing here again?! I thought visiting hours were over, hence why you’d left!”
“Um, Mr. Saad Ma’an here…” The raven-haired beauty gestured to the stern-faced, uniformed guard standing by the door. “Decided to be nice enough to let me come back, because I forgot my Plumed Punisher Limited Edition strap. I came back in time to hear your surprisingly lilting musical testimonial!”
Her voice was filled with bewilderment now, but not without a touch of amusement.
“Since when can you sing, Nick?”
“Er, I didn’t know I could!” He blushed furiously, as he’d never intended to have the subject of his impromptu lyrics ever overhear them! “And I normally never do…except in the shower! Heh, heh…”
“You started this, Barbed Head, so you may as well finish this… tomfoolery.” Rayfa’s tone was no-nonsense and commanding. “Carry on with your little song and dance, and pay no mind to your now larger audience!”
Guess I’ll have to muster up my latent poker-face to hide this latest burning shame and a newfound sense of inadequacy!
To his amazement, the guard suddenly held up his cell phone, which was now playing the instrumental version of the ABBA hit on the MeTube app, which was apparently the country’s own video streaming channel, and nodded encouragingly for the blue attorney to continue his serenade.
Phoenix turned his attentions, previously directed at the unimpressed teen, and faced his flummoxed ex-assistant as he resumed belting out his on-the-fly stanza.
Maya Mia, you’re in jail again
Don’t fret, I will not desist you!
Maya Mia, I’m here till the end
To have faith, defend and assist you
The charges will be discarded
From death row you will be darted
I’ll bring an end to this newfound woe
Maya Mia, I won’t let you go
Be swung on those deadly gallows
I dunno why bad things keep happening to you
Things look grim for us now; Yuti says we are screwed…
“Yuti?” Rayfa’s eye began to twitch again. “Nnnngrrrr …. What is the meaning of this, you nincompoop?! How dare you speak of our pious monk prosecutor in such an insolent manner?!”
“Er, sorry, Your Benevolence. I have the attention span of a pint of yak butter, given the stress of these dire circumstances.” Phoenix gulped and offered a sickly grin. “I meant to say … ah, Franzy! That’s the name of the other prosecutor back in LA, who also accused Maya of erroneous murder charges – under circumstances that were shadier than a fat man’s ankles!”
“These charges are not erroneous, you big dummy!” Franziska Junior wielded her staff dangerously, looking very much ready to THWONK the attorney over the head with it – again! “That neophyte practitioner is as doomed as you will be since you insist on not withdrawing from this case and possibly getting your sentence commuted!”
“Th – that’s what you believe, Your Benevolence!” Phoenix insisted fervently. “But as a lawyer, and her friend, I will always have faith in Maya’s innocence now, just as much as I did back then! Ahem, please allow me to continue with my retracted verse…”
“Hmph!” Rayfa scowled and crossed her arms but begrudgingly nodded her assent for him to continue. “As I said before…Bravado will get you nowhere, Barbed Head!”
I dunno why bad things keep happening to you
Things look grim for us now; Franzy says we are screwed
What does she know? That foolish whip-happy ho!
I swear I’ll prove her case is all wrong
Ship her back home where she belongs!
There’s no way you could have done such a thing!
I’ll object until I prove everything, w-o-o-o-oh
Maya Mia, you’re in jail again
Don’t fret, I will not desist you!
Maya Mia, I’m here till the end
To have faith, defend and assist you
The charges will be discarded
From death row you will be darted
I’ll bring an end to this newfound woe
Maya Mia, I will fight and pray
For you, as your friend forever
Maya Mia, I will find a way
I’ll persist in all my endeavors!
Maya Mia, you’re in jail again
Don’t fret, I will not desist you!
Maya Mia, I’m here till the end
To have faith, defend and assist you
The charges will be discarded
From death row you will be darted
I’ll bring an end to this newfound woe
Maya Mia, I won’t let you go
Be swung on those deadly gallows
“That was an entertaining, yet unknown tune you warbled, I will concede this much.” The royal priestess eyed him coolly as Maya and Saad Ma’an applauded enthusiastically when the song ended. “However, all it did was let me know that you are a tenacious, albeit a simpleton example of an attorney. One who never knows when to quit while he’s ahead! It still does not explain your specific willingness to die for this woman – a question you still have not directly answered!”
“He didn’t answer the question?” Maya blinked in surprise and flashed a puzzled smile. “What’s going on, Nick?”
“Yes, you just broke into song in a foreign prison – don’t tell me you’re shy all of a sudden!” The guard added cheerfully. “Also, by royal decree… it would be a great slight against Her Benevolence to ignore her direct query.”
Phoenix felt a knot forming in his stomach as three sets of eyes now stared at him quizzically.
Great thundering jellyfish on the squishy road to mayhem! This is going to be more disturbingly intimate than seeing Stephen King get a hot butter massage – since I’ll have to convey the truth about everything…before the merciless eyes of a petulant princess and random prison guard!
“You look pained, Barbed Head.” Rayfa eyed him suspiciously. “Is there a reason you are not answering my original question?”
“Well, I did throw out my back earlier trying to partake in your prayer ritual.” He awkwardly scratched his neck. “If I move too suddenly, it still sort of feels like I gave birth to a bouncing baby hernia. I guess I’m still not be used to this cold mountain air…”
“I guess you should answer Her Benevolence, Nick.” Maya flashed a cheeky grin. “Unless you want to end up locked in here with me for sassing the royal family!”
Her tone was light, but the questioning look on her lovely visage matched the inquiring one glimmering within the emerald eyes of the royal priestess, minus the overt hostility!
Maya was asking about more than just the song. She too, clearly wanted to know the real reason why he was putting his neck on the line for her – this time literally!
Phoenix swallowed hard. There was no way he was going to get out of this now that the subject in question had asked the same query. He could see the unspoken query in those curious orbs that he adored as clear as day.
Moreover, Maya still had her magatama on her, so it wasn’t like he could lie to her – because she’d know!
Stupid psyche locks!
He never would have dreamed the object of his melody would hear not only the underlying message in the song, but the real truth behind his crazed actions… starting with his impromptu departure to West Asia the minute he’d heard her petrified scream on the cell phone before the connection had gone dead.
It was something that had been true for so long, but he’d never had the courage to say aloud.
FML! Still… not like I have a choice, and if we’re both dead as of tomorrow, what does it matter, anyway? Oh boy… I guess it’s now or never … I’m as ready as a rooster taking a bath in barbecue sauce to finally spill out my most closely guarded secret.
He took a deep breath for courage.
“I always have, and always will keep defending you, Maya. Even though this is the greatest risk I’ve ever made, and the stakes are higher than any poker game I’ve ever played… I – I could never abandon you, even though you’ve already told me to back away from this case twice already.”
Phoenix faltered only for a minute as his gaze locked on hers, trying to convey from his heart what his mouth was trying fervently to suppress.
“I would never try to spare my life at the expense of yours. I can’t. I never will. And the reason I will always be there for you when you need me, both in and out of the courtroom, even if it means the end of my life as I know it, is…”
Swallowing hard, he cupped his hands over his nose and scrunched up his face, never taking his eyes off hers as he then feigned letting out a loud sternutation sound.
“AISHITERU WA!”
“Holy Mother bless you!” Exclaimed Saad Ma’an, while the spirit medium reeled back in astonishment, a hand clapped over her mouth and orbs widened in shock, but remaining transfixed on his.
“Thank you,” Phoenix replied thickly, never tearing his gaze off Maya’s even while addressing the guard as he waited, with bated breath, for her reaction to this bombshell. “I feel so much better now that I finally got that… out of my system.”
His breath caught in his throat as the psychic’s dark eyes began to sparkle with tears as the weight of what he’d just uttered sank in.
“And just what hodgepodge was that, Barbed Head?” The oblivious Rayfa demanded suspiciously, forcing the lawyer to reluctantly break eye contact with the necromancer and swivel his head at her. “Was that strange sound intended to be some sort of cryptic, foreign devil code?!”
“Not at all! It was an unexpected expulsion of air, Princess. No hidden secret messages here!” He smiled winsomely while dramatically making a big show of pretending to sneeze again. “Achoo! Aishiteru! Achoo! It’s how we sneeze in um, America! It’s that darn frigid mountain air, I’m telling you…”
“Nngh!” Rayfa shot him a disgusted look. “Your alien balderdash and wayward ways are beyond the pale, Barbed Head! I don’t care to understand every word that was just spoken anymore – you bore me with your farcical shenanigans. I have no more time for either of you ill-fated nincompoops!”
With that, the royal priestess stormed off like a toddler with a thistle up her back end.
“I’m afraid that’s our cue. I can’t extend things any further. It’s time for Miss Fey to go, Mr. Wright,” the guard interjected, almost apologetically. Clearly, he’d enjoyed the performance immensely and was loath to bring things to an end. “Visiting hours are long over!”
“Maya… I’ll see you in court tomorrow.” Phoenix smiled bravely but averted his gaze now. He was almost afraid to look directly into the spirit medium’s eyes again and fully assess her reaction to him putting his heart on the line so candidly. “Take care…”
As he turned to walk away, Maya’s voice called after him.
“Nick, wait!”
As he turned his head, she earnestly cried out the words that changed the dynamic of their relationship forever.
“Elephant shoe, goo, Old Man!” Maya’s heart was in her eyes, and as she saw the realization of her message dawning on his face, a faint smile played on her trembling lips. “Elephant shoe goo!”
As she turned to follow the guard, Phoenix’s formerly thudding heart soared. Spinning on his heel to leave the detention center, he mentally channeled his inner Huey Lewis & The News from Back To The Future.
The power of love is a curious thing. Make one man weep, make another man sing…
Phoenix was whistling the tune almost cheerfully now as he left the detention centre to meet his surly investigative partner.
Don’t need money, don’t take fame. Don’t need no credit card to ride this train. It’s strong and it’s sudden and it’s cruel sometimes. But it might just save your life. That’s the power of love…
“Stop dragging your feet, you big dummy!” Rayfa grumbled peevishly from the front entrance. “Contrary to what your phony baloney spirit medium thinks, I have many better, more important things to do than follow you around during this lost cause! I need to get back to the palace now!”
“Coming, Your Benevolence!” He called back merrily. “And might I add your unparalleled cynicism is like a breath of fresh air on a crowded subway?”
“Go ahead and make all the jokes, you want, Barbed Head! None of it matters anyway, you’re both destined for the Twilight Realm!”
Phoenix merely chuckled softly in response and obediently followed the girl, unable to keep the slight spring from his step.
He no longer cared what abuse, verbal or otherwise, was heaped upon him.
No matter how terrible, there was no longer a single thing Rayfa Padma Khura’in could proclaim about Phoenix and Maya’s doomed, inevitable fate that could’ve wiped the shit-eating grin off his face now.
Because he had The Power of Love on his side.
Just you wait, Princess. As long as Maya and I are together, we are an unstoppable force! We’ll turn this trial inside out and upside down! The stakes may be higher than they’ve ever been, but I have no doubt this will be our biggest turnabout… ever! Look out Khura’in… it’s all aboard the Phoenix Freedom Express! Choo-choo!
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