87 My Triumph (Will Be) Definite

Chapter by JordanPhoenix

Notes

JP: For Yanmegaman. Dude, this was hard AF since I can’t rap for 💩 so I hope you like this labor of love, pal! This self-aggrandizing song – it’s my turn for me and CT’s switcheroo as his last song was uncharacteristic fluff and this is one of my few villain songs! – could have easily been for Simon Keyes, but my wonderful co-pilot has paid so much homage to him already, I thought I’d use one of the few villains we haven’t covered yet – Marlon Rimes from Dual Destinies. rapping breakout here, which would have happened right after his “Dissin’ of Phoenix Wright” testimony from Turnabout Reclaimed, doesn’t get an accompanying backstory like most of my song parodies.

Reasons:

A) Snarling Grimes is way too heinous.

B) Since I like animals more than people, I loathe him too damn much. Personally, I think he got off way too easy for trying harm an innocent animal!

That being said, I’d now like to bring your attention to:

MY SHAMELESSLY PROMOTED LATEST COLLABORATION PROJECT!😁

My funny friend StupidGenious and I just started a joint dark romantic comedy AU about the Periwinkle Piss Head and his Demonic Damsel a.k.a. a Kristoph Gavin X Dahlia Hawthorne not at all fairy-tale story: Atroquinine Angels: A Toxic Dalhstoph Tale by PPOD & JP which you can find on her wall… https://archiveofourown.org/works/21403501

CT: Y’know, now that I think about it, Marlon Rimes is a perfect foil of Wocky. With the latter, he’s the son of an ex-mob boss who looks like the Godfather, yet he’s unable to kill despite having a gun, a knife, a reasonable motive (perfectly logical when you compare it to the rest of the stuff floating around in his mind), and a prime opportunity, looks like an anime-version of Vanilla Ice, and is about as intimidating as a malnourished teacup poodle despite constantly preaching about how he’s an OG’s OG. Meanwhile, with the former, he comes off as one of the more mild-mannered characters in the series, yet the second he downs a barrel of fish, he turns into a hulking juggernaut who wouldn’t be out of place in an episode of “One Piece” who inadvertently killed a guy while going all Captain Ahab on an orca. Not to mention, Marlon is actually able to sound OG in court while not making a complete joke out of himself, which is more than I can say about Wocky “that doctor was a quacker” Kitaki.

“My Triumph (Will Be) Definite”
Sung to the tune of “Infinite’s Theme”
from the video game,  Sonic Forces

(Yeah!)
(Yo!)

I’m spewin’ beats like a fountain
I’m bustin’ rap out for days
Word up Turnabout Terror
My rhymes will set you ablaze!

Presence here is commandin’
This gangsta be here to stay!
I’m a straight-up go-getter
So just stay out of my face

The disses flowing freely
Mercy just ain’t gonna happen
Shoulda stayed out of my way
Yo’ ass is mine now I reckon!

Now that I’ve broken the chains
And I have freed my true spirit
The beast is finally free
You breaking out in cold sweat

And here stands Marlon Rimes
You punk lawyer
(Courtroom here won’t ever be the same)
Ima grind you down into this floor
(I am the master and you be my slave)
(Be my slave)
(Be my slave)

You’re not Phoenix Wright, you’re Phoenix Wrong
(This bird ain’t rising from ashes of fire!)
You know where you can go shove those laws
(Prepare for backlash; the sitch right here is dire!)
When the nightfall fades and turns to dawn
(Draw your conclusion, ain’t nothing left to defend…)
Your case
(Dismissed)
You should
(Desist)
Cuz my triumph here will be definite!

Yeah
So listen up, blue
Take a hard look at me
When this ends
I be standing here in victory!

Now I’ma say wassup
No turning things around
You cannot see this through
Ain’t no point bluffing now!

So listen up, blue
Take a hard look and see
The reason you’ll cry
It’ll be because of me!

You’ll quake and cower
Of this I ain’t got doubt
You cannot see this through
Ain’t no point bluffing now!
(Ain’t no point bluffing now!)

I’m spewin’ beats like a fountain
Spiky really don’t get it
That dropping bombs is my thing
Your arguments don’t mean shit
(Bring it!)

The disses flowing freely
So you better take cover
I won’t back down for nuttin’
I’ll let know you when it’s over

And here stands Marlon Rimes
You punk lawyer
(Courtroom here won’t ever be the same)
Ima grind you down into this floor
(I am the master and you be my slave)

You’re not Phoenix Wright, you’re Phoenix Wrong
(This bird ain’t rising from ashes of fire!)
You know where you can go shove those laws
(Prepare for backlash; the sitch right here is dire!)
When the nightfall fades and turns to dawn
(Draw your conclusion, ain’t nothing left to defend…)
Your case
(Dismissed)
You should
(Desist)
Cuz my triumph here will be definite!

So, listen up, blue
Take a hard look at me
When this ends
I be standing here in victory!

You’ll quake and cower
Of this I ain’t got doubt
You cannot see this through
Ain’t no point bluffing now!
(Ain’t no point bluffing now!)

Yeah
So listen up, blue
Take a hard look at me
When this ends
I be standing here in victory!

You’ll quake and cower
Of this I ain’t got doubt
You cannot see this through
Ain’t no point bluffing now!
(Bluffing now!)
(Bluffing now!)
(Bluffing now!)
Ain’t no point bluffing now!

Bonus!

JP: And now, without further ado, here’s a crack Phaya fic absolutely nobody asked for! This utterly ridiculous and unrelated short story is called  “Snooty Phoenix Wright.”
Enjoy! 😛

Snooty Phoenix Wright

A Short Story
by JordanPhoenix

Phoenix Wright had always loved magical Courtroom with its boiled, blue-eyed bench. It was a place where he felt worried.

He was a snooty, stable, grape juice drinker with beautiful eyebrows and greasy elbows. His friends saw him as a pleasant, purple painter. Once, he had even made a cup of tea for a dirty old man. That’s the sort of man he was.

Phoenix walked over to the window and reflected on his idyllic surroundings. The hail pounded like dancing flamingos.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Maya Fey. Maya was a clumsy teacher with scrawny eyebrows and squat elbows.

Phoenix gulped. He was not prepared for Maya.

As Phoenix stepped outside and Maya came closer, he could see the scrawny smile on her face.

Maya gazed with the affection of 702 spiteful obedient owls. She said, in hushed tones, “I love you and I want love.”

Phoenix looked back, even more unstable, and still fingering the ripped piano. “Maya, I love you,” he replied.

They looked at each other with sneezy feelings, like two mutated, melted maggots gyrating at a very deranged birthday party, which had piano music playing in the background and two snotty uncles talking to the beat.

Phoenix regarded Maya’s scrawny eyebrows and squat elbows. “I feel the same way!” revealed Phoenix with a delighted grin.

Maya looked sparkly, her emotions blushing like a spicy, substantial sausage.

Then Maya came inside for a nice drink of grape juice.

THE END

JP: Assuming you got a kick out of this (and don’t just want to kick me afterward!) you can thank my pal, TheFreelancerSeal for giving me the idea, and now look forward to CT’s own nutty short story next chapter! 😛

License

Singing in the Courtroom Copyright © by JordanPhoenix and CzarThwomp. All Rights Reserved.

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