111 “(You) Make Me Want To Scream!”

JP:  This is for Ariastella. I know you made this request ages ago but I hope you like it! The bickering dynamic between Ema and Klavier is irresistible to me, and it was very heavily implied that his part in getting her beloved Mr. Wright disbarred considering how much he means to her and Lana is a very big factor with why she dislikes him so much. However, I’m thinking this little miniature story I created for the song will be shortly after the King of the Turnabout gets his badge back. I can only surmise Klavier would’ve had to go along with the whole jurist system and courtroom shenanigans that Phoenix cooked up trying to frame the prosecutor’s diabolical older brother, or at least been open to it. There’s no way he would’ve gone into that courtroom case against Apollo for that final battle of the AJ game completely blindsided! Now that the bluebird hath risen from the ashes again, Ema is all out of excuses to hate the fop… and Klavier knows it! He knows there’s something between them, and her defenses are getting weaker than a cup of decaf…

CT: Once again, JP has managed to make a parody that is way more enjoyable to me than the original song. Don’t get me wrong, I love and appreciate classic Disney as much as the next guy, but when I listen to the original song, I can’t help but feel like I’m getting a prostate exam from Placido Domingo. Though speaking of feelings, considering what Ema says about Klavier (not only in this parody but also in canon), I’m surprised that she hasn’t had to arrest hordes of his fangirls for trying to assault her. Though then again, if Ema’s anything like her sister when she’s miserable, I doubt that even the bravest of fangirls would have the guts to so much as even think badly about her, lest she grabs them by the collar of their shirt, gets right up in their face, and absorbs their soul by looking into their eyes Ghost Rider-style. Heck, maybe that element of fear is why Klavier has Ema lead security at his concerts.

The verdict had been declared.  The jurors had unanimously found Vera Misham not guilty.

The more shocking was the discovery that at the same time Apollo Justice had successfully proved the young artist innocent of her father’s murder, Kristoph Gavin had at last been outed as the true culprit. It turned out the miscreant had not only been responsible for Drew Misham’s homicide but had also framed  Phoenix Wright for forgery all those years ago, consequently getting the acclaimed defense attorney disbarred 7 years ago.

Watching this tableau unfold from the gallery, Ema Skye breathed a huge sigh of relief at the news her dear old friend’s name had finally been cleared.

Despite the terrible picture that was painted of you by the media,  I never stopped believing in you, Mr. Wright.  I always knew you could never have done such a terrible thing.  There’s going to be a lot of reparations required from all those who doubted you and even more so for those who sullied your name in the first place – starting with that blasted glimmerous fop!

Tears of gratitude and other emotions she had long since been suppressing sprang to her eyes, which she hastily wiped away on her lab coat sleeve as she got up from her seat and headed towards the courthouse exit.

The sequence of events that had led up to that day’s fateful verdict was still plaguing her mind by the time she got back to her office at the near-empty precinct.

I suppose since that bling-loving Europhile agreed to the utilization of today’s experimental jurist system, which helped clear Mr. Wright’s name, this counts towards his inevitable atonement for his sins, the forensic enthusiast mused as she tapped at her chin.  I suppose this means I should stop hating him somewhat.  At least, for that!  If I’m going to be completely honest with myself, the one thing I’m having an even harder time finding Prosecutor Gavin innocent of is the act of getting under my skin as much as he does!  And they are all for reasons which I will now ruefully acknowledge have very little to do with his part in getting my favorite defense attorney disbarred in the first place…

She briskly began filling out subsequent paperwork that would be required to wrap up this latest case. The combination of being so engrossed in the task at hand, as well as being so consumed by her thoughts meant that she was completely oblivious to the knock on her door.  Nor did she even notice the looming figure in her presence; not until her visitor was standing right before the desk, barely two feet away, and loudly cleared their throat.

“Good evening, Detective Skye.  Ever the busy bee I see, ja?”

The startled policewoman’s pen clattered to the ground at the unanticipated sight of the infuriating blond who had been invading her headspace for the last few years.  Embarrassed that he’d witnessed her getting flustered for the umpteenth time, she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the former Gavinners lead singer.

“Is it not enough that your legions of female groupies jump out of their panties at the mere sight of you?”  She scowled. “Do you now have to get your kicks out of skulking around like a deer in the woods and making women jump out of their skin, too?”

An all-too-familiar smirk flickered across the tanned face that had always been too damn handsome for its own good.

“Apologies if I startled you, Fräulein Detective.”  An impish grin was the response to the customary teal eyes that were narrowed in his direction. “I assure you I was not perfecting my Bambi impersonation in the least.  I did knock before I entered – you were just too distracted to notice.”

“Well, what do you want?”  She asked grumpily. “Can’t you see that I’m über busy?  I was just in the middle of tying up all the loose ends from the Misham trial now that the disgraced Coolest Defense in the West’s latest criminal charges have been brought to light.”

If her boss was at all fazed by her scathing reference to his older brother in such a flippant manner, he certainly wasn’t showing it.

“This rigmarole involving Herr Wright and Misham’s murder was actually why I wanted to talk to you.”  Klavier cleared his throat, suddenly looking much less cocksure than usual as he thrust his hands into the pockets of his leather pants. “Now that the truth has finally been shed on everything that’s happened in the last 7 years, I was hoping the end result would be finally getting some peace of mind, not just for myself, but between us, as well.”

Ema stood up – remaining seated while he was standing only forced her to look at the exposed golden pectorals which were barely covered by that ridiculously gaudy G pendant that dangled from his neck and the sight was unnerving her more than usual – and raised an eyebrow.

“Us?”

“Your antipathy towards me all this time has not gone unnoticed, not that you have done much to hide it.”  His typical flirty voice suddenly sounded uncharacteristically serious. “It has been brought to my attention by a certain Herr Forehead that you have held me largely responsible for the unjust disbarring of your old friend Phoenix Wright from that fateful trial all those years ago…”

Stupid Frogmouth Apollo!  Ema seethed inwardly at this breach of confidentiality on her so-called friend’s part.  Apparently, that loud cakehole of his isn’t just limited to when he’s doing Chords of Steel exercises!  Note to self – pelt that fivehead of his with a whole bag of Snackoos at point-blank range the next time I see him!

Unaware of the inward fuming of his dialogue partner, the prosecutor continued.

“…And in the meantime, as I do everything in my power to help right the wrongs that have been done to the Turnabout King, I also wanted to make things right with you.  Now that that the good man’s name has been cleared, I dared hope that perhaps you and I could have a better relationship.”

“Relationship?”  The detective knew she was starting to sound like a parrot, but she couldn’t help it – she wasn’t used to Klavier Gavin ever being this forthright and sincere.  Usually, he treated her with a combination of coy amusement and over-friendliness despite her less than warm reciprocations.  “What relationship?”

“A more amicable work relationship, as it were.”  The blond man brushed a stray lock of hair off his face and offered an embarrassed smile. “I should have been clearer – do forgive my slip of the tongue.”

“Well as slippery as your tongue is, I’m afraid I don’t have time for this sort of discussion,” she replied brusquely, grabbing her bag and making a move towards the door. “It’s been a very long day and I’m exhausted.  But I will say this much – I imagine you have a lot on your plate as well given the events of today both personally and professionally, so I don’t want you to worry that man pretty head of yours giving anything regarding us another thought.    Pretty soon that will not be necessary.”

Just as she was about to leave Klavier blocked her path, his muscled six-foot frame filling the whole doorway, brows knitted in consternation as he peered down at her.

“What do you mean it won’t be necessary?”

“I mean in the very near future I’ll barely be a blip on your radar and will merely be somebody that you used to know, and you and I will be barely more than strangers to one another.”

Blue eyes widened in surprised dismay at this announcement.  Clearly, this was the closest the womanizing lawyer had ever gotten to being dumped by a female before in his entire life.

“Is that what you really want, Fräulein Detective?”

“Why are you so acting so stunned?  You and I obviously don’t get along, and I don’t think we ever will,” she replied bluntly, trying to inject as much dismissiveness in her tone as possible so he wouldn’t pick up on how unnerved she was being in such proximity to him. It was starting to make her feel curiously lightheaded. “We both have entirely different work ethics.  I like to preserve a crime scene for example, while you are content to blithely let your squealing fangirls trample all over the place as they rush you with demands for your autograph!”

“What’s this now?”  The bewilderment in his tone was evident. “You wish for us to become strangers to one another because you’re jealous of my female fans?”

“I wish my bank account was the size of your ego!”  Ema puffed out her cheeks in exasperation, unaware of how adorable it made her look. “You truly hear whatever you want to hear, don’t you?  It drives me crazy, and so do you!”

“I’ve been told I have that effect on women,” Klavier drawled, effortlessly slipping back into Casanova mode. “Is it truly such an unpleasant sensation for you?”

“For the record, don’t flatter yourself, fop!” Ema glared at him. “It looks like I’m just going to shoot straight from the hip here, Prosecutor Gavin.  So here it is in plain English: tonight, along with the required paperwork for your brother, I was also putting the wheels into motion to be transferred to work for another prosecutor.”

Said fop’s charming smile vanished, replaced by an expression of utter dejection, like a little boy who had just been told he would not be getting a puppy for his birthday.

“There’s no need to look so wounded!” Ema shrugged with deliberate insouciance as she tried to squeeze past him and failed.  Resigned to being trapped between his shoulder and the doorframe until this matter was resolved, she leaned back against it and eyed him coolly. “These things do happen.  I realize this might be a shock to you, Don Juan, but not everybody in life is going to love you! Sometimes, people just don’t click.  You and I – we’re like oil and water.  We just don’t mix.”

Klavier still hadn’t moved out of her way, and at this point, she was beyond appearing unaffected by his propinquity and raised her hand to put some physical distance between them.

“Could you please get out of my way already, Prosecutor Gavin?  You are very awkwardly reminding me of my blatant opposition to stranger danger!”

The prosecutor finally found his voice.

“Stranger? But Fräulein, we work together!”

“Not for much longer once I put in that request!”

The ex-rocker bent over so his earnest gaze was right at face level with hers.

“I can understand you despising me all this time for my part in what happened to your friend, but now that those cards are no longer on the table, what exactly is your aversion to me?” He demanded. “I know how much you love science and I have never objected to the conducting of your little experiments with luminol and whatever else you wish to fill that void the detective role is not filling.  I have never written you up for insubordination for the scathing disdain with which you readily address me despite being your superior.  Is it honestly that horrible for you to be under me?”

The innocuous phrase from his lips, much like the word relationship, created strange stirrings within her – ones the feisty brunette wasn’t quite ready to confront.  Not now – or perhaps ever!

Under him… Holy criminalities! How does this silver-tongued rake always make my mind segue to NSFW areas?!”

Giving her head a firm shake and giving up on the notion of slipping past him, Ema took a step backward into her office, with Klavier doing the same, and treated him to her most scornful look.

“You may think that you can charm the pants off everybody you come across, Prosecutor Gavin, but for me, that simply isn’t the case. As a matter of fact, let me spell it out for you, in no uncertain terms…”

[Ema]

I hate you!
Just know that you make me want to scream!
I hate you!
The preen of your hair, your clothes, your swagger it all just turns me green!
It’s not for me although you’re many a fan girl’s dream!
Yes I hate you
Alas it is true
So don’t you play dunce
The sins that you’ve done
Can’t be redeemed!

[Ema]

Yes, I hate you
Alas it is true
So don’t you play dunce…

With these parting words, she turned to leave again, but unexpectedly Klavier grabbed her shoulder. Ema gasped as he spun her around to face him, now inches away from those smoldering azure orbs.

Her lips parted in shock.

“Oh!”

The ladies’ man flashed his most winsome megawatt beam.

[Klavier]

Oh Baby, Achtung!
I’ll be the winning team!

Ema was somehow trapped back in the doorway with him again, and there was no escaping the aroma of delectable cologne that was now flooding her senses. Just like the rest of him, the rich, spicy scent was unapologetically raw, virile, and oh-so male.

It was all suddenly making her feel inexplicably dizzy.

He smiled smugly.

“I see my boldness shocks you, Fräuline Detective.”

No, more that’d be more due to your throaty baritone, laden with dirty promises that would undoubtedly deliver… should I ever waver and succumb to those rippling muscles and azure eyes that make me feel like I’m drowning in a sea of sensuality…

Ema blushed furiously.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that you’re invading my personal space, and this is such unprofessional behavior…”

He stepped even closer to her so that his thighs now had her practically pinned against the door frame. The worst part was that her traitorous body was not screaming any sort of objection!

“Perhaps among actual strangers, such would be the case,” he murmured huskily. “But we are much more than that, aren’t we?”

She gulped nervously.

“Regardless of that, we’re hardly friends!  If anything, we are working strangers, at best…”

“Objection!”  His knowing grin only widened. “If, as you claim, that you hate me so passionately, you must know me, at least somewhat! Therefore, I cannot be a mere stranger.  Ergo, this is a blatant contradiction, ja?”

She ran her tongue over suddenly very dry lips.

“Well, um, yes, I suppose there is some veracity to your claim…”

“Detective Skye,” he continued silkily. “I daresay you know me far too well! Perhaps more than you care to admit, hmmm?”

With surprisingly gentle fingers, he cupped her chin in his hand and leaned down again so that they were at eye level, widened turquoise eyes locked against intense cobalt ones.

[Klavier]

Shades of blue
Within those twin jewels of flashing green
Yes, it’s true
So much more between us than there seems!
I can’t hate you since you are the woman of my dreams
I’ve sinned it’s true
I’ll atone to you

She could feel the heat of his hands on her shoulders even through her lab coat, and his breath was warm on her skin as he lowered his face, his mouth hovering mere inches from hers.  The nerdy science beauty’s defenses collapsed in that instant, eyes closing as she felt her lips, as if on their own accord, puckering up in response.

[Klavier]
When all’s said and done…

The prosecutor abruptly released her then, making the nerdy science beauty beyond grateful for the sturdy support of the wooden doorframe behind her, as her legs seem to have suddenly morphed into cooked spaghetti and she no longer trusted them to support her.

Fully aware of how her bosom was now heaving with unsteady breaths, along with the unmitigated sensual effect he’d just exuded over her, the Adonis flashed a lascivious wink over his shoulder then, leaving the slightly dazed and confused lady cop panting after him while his final tantalizing lyrics seared in her ears long after he’d left.

[Klavier]
My bed is the only place you’ll scream!