10 Turnabout Spin

Mr. Coffee: Leave it to my almost sister-in-law to coax Trite and Mr. Uptight to play junior high school level games to spice up a party! Naturally, hijinx ensue. This reader request drabble is brought to you by the Wrighter of Gordy Gumshoe Goodness, Jove’s Boy.

“Wright, I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”

“Oh come on, Edgeworth! Live a little! You only get one birthday a year, you know.”

How had it come to this? Wondered Edgeworth. I’m soon to be years old. That’s practically middle age! Leave it to Wright and Maya to throw a surprise party with NO warning, make it as lavish as possible, and invite practically everyone who is everyone!

Yet each person there was holding a special place in Miles Edgeworth’s heart. There were Dick Gumshoe and his wife, their two sons at home with a babysitter—clumsy, often a couple of quarter notes short of a measure, but a man with complete loyalty to Edgeworth and devotion to his profession.

Kay Faraday, a young woman with a great sense of adventure.

Adrian Andrews and Simon Blackquill, both of whom had had all manner of false accusations levied against them—strong individuals who had taught Miles Edgeworth to trust.

Ema Skye and Klavier Gavin, with their infectious enthusiasm and commitment to their talents.

Trucy Wright and her fiancé—the only man who had ever been able to get through Phoenix’s intensive screening and background checks required to date his daughter. In the Wright Anything Agency, if her father was the brains of the operation and Apollo and Athena the brawn, the magician brought the heart to the table. (Well, Edgeworth wasn’t too sure about the trio’s roles, but there was no denying the Gramarye heiress.)

Then there was Maya Fey. She had foregone her usual purple robes that identified her as a spirit medium and tonight was sporting a stunning ruby day dress and a simple necklace that bore her Kurain Master’s talisman. He had met Maya in the strangest of circumstances as he had tried to lock her in jail and throw away the key for murdering her sister. Of course, if he had known then what he knew now, he could have saved everyone a lot of trouble if he had actually bothered to investigate further, but it had turned out okay in the end. Well, better than okay. Maya had soon become one of his best friends and staunchest allies.

Maya had decided a game of Spin the Bottle was in order. OF COURSE, she had decided on Spin the Bottle, and of course, Phoenix Wright, his best friend, was going along with it (though Wright wanted to call the game “Turnabout Spin“).

Detective Gumshoe had just emerged from a rather long and exaggerated make-out session with his wife (prompting catcalls, whistling, cheers, and protests telling them to get a room). Next up was Miles Edgeworth himself, so he grudgingly picked up the empty bottle of grape juice, hefted it, and brought it down on Larry Butz’s head, cackling maniacally, experiencing a great sense of release as he stood over the body of the one man who had been nothing but trouble for the past 32 years.

(Or at least that was what Edgeworth imagined. His desire to stay out of prison got in the way of that dream. Besides, empty grape bottle murder was more Kristoph Gavin’s style, and he was sure neither Wright nor Kristoph’s younger brother would appreciate that.)

Chuckling quietly, while knowing perfectly well that the Butz was an invaluable friend as well, the crimson prosecutor stood self-consciously and spun the bottle. Round and round it went, slower, slower, slower … then came to a stop, the green bottle’s neck pointing straight at Phoenix Wright.

A cacophony of laughter, jeering, and catcalls echoed through the bar. “Maya Fey!” the blue attorney opined with glee. “Are you okay with this?”

Maya winked flirtatiously, grabbing Phoenix by the front of his blue T-shirt and planting an exaggerated, wet kiss on his lips, then shoved him straight at Edgeworth. “Take all the time you need!”

The Chief Prosecutor glared at the bottle, seeking evidence that it might not have been pointing at Wright. If it was even off by a few degrees … but no.

Well, could be worse, thought Edgeworth. At least Wendy Oldbag isn’t here!

“Come on, Edgey-poo!” Teased Larry in a sing-song voice. “You and Nick deserve some … alone time … together!”

“That’s right, Miley-boy!” Added Iris Hawthorne, who was there that night as Larry’s plus-one. “Give in, give in to your feelings!”

“Iris!” thundered Edgeworth. “I’ll thank you not to nickname me after that trashy pop singer who—ACK!”

Phoenix seized his arm and began pulling him toward the hallway.

“St-stop! Help me! NGHHOOOGH!”

“All in a day’s work for Maya Fey, Ace Assistant!” Maya laughed.

“Wright, have you completely lost your mind?” Edgeworth screamed as he and Phoenix arrived at their destination. “This is the BOYS’ bathroom! We’re not little girls who have to go to the bathroom together to fix their makeup and talk about BOYS!”

“HOLD IT! That only happened in the Pink Princess movie that came out last year!” Phoenix reminded him. “YOU know the scene. It was when Oldbag’s character got— ”

“OBJECTION! I told you never to say that woman’s name in my presence ever again! We don’t want a repeat of her stunt a few months ago when she tried to win me overusing a chipmunk with pink fur!”

“Oh yeah, the chipmunk,” Phoenix remarked thoughtfully. “Did she do that with hair dye or spray paint?”

“That is beside the point!”

“Ah! It was food coloring all along. TAKE THAT, Edgeworth!”

Suddenly, Phoenix lowered his voice. “I think we can turn this situation around, Edgeworth. There may very well be a way to save this. We just have to think outside the box.”

A flash of light illuminated Edgeworth’s mind. “I see,” he said. “Are you pondering what I’m pondering, Wright?”

Phoenix pursed his lips as he thought. “That we watched way too much Pinky and the Brain when we were little?”

Edgeworth glared at him.

“I know!” Phoenix added deviously. “I’ve been wanting to prank Maya for ages. Here’s what we’re going to do … ”

The life-long friends chatted amongst themselves for a time, then staged their prank.

“Oh, Edgeworth!” exclaimed Phoenix. “I’ve been wanting this for so long!”

“You are the apple of my eye! The apple! How could we have gone so long in denial, when the whole time, you were right here?”

“I’ve been denying it for years, Edgeworth!” Phoenix gushed passionately, knowing that their friends out there in the bar could hear the whole thing. “But there was always Maya to contend with!”

“I’ve been jealous of her for years! Maya Fey! How could I ever measure up to her?”

“You can! You do!”

“Oh Feenie, how your beautiful words warm my heart! We can finally be together now!”

Now let’s make this look real, thought Edgeworth, communicating with Phoenix in that undefinable way that life-long best friends can. So he quickly raked his hands through his hair, mussing it up, then reached over and did the same to the defense attorney’s spikes.

“Ouch!” grumbled the prosecutor. “Were you born with spiky hair, Wright?”

The blue attorney hesitated.

“Well, actually— ”

“Whatever,” interrupted Edgeworth. He shucked off his red sweater and held it out for Phoenix, who responded in kind, taking off his shirt and giving it to his best friend. As they changed into one another’s shirts, Edgeworth chortled.

“It kind of feels good! It’s been a LONG time since I’ve played a prank. Do you think they’ll buy it?”

“Let’s go greet our audience … Edgey-poo!”