6 Justice Isn’t Blind

Mr. Coffee: Polly can see quite well, but he’s going to want to gouge out his own eyes soon enough. Oh, what a tangled web we weave when we ignore our instincts to perceive…

Apollo finally raised his head to take a breath from the world’s longest reunion lip lock and crushed his girlfriend’s petite form against his in one final bear hug before reluctantly releasing her at last.

“I’ve missed you so much, Tiger.” The horn-haired lawyer smiled tenderly into the yellow attorney’s beautiful blue eyes. “This visit is way overdue!”

“I know, I’ve been losing my mind ever since you decided to ditch us all in favor of Western Asia, you big dork!” Athena’s loving smile completely took the sting out of the words as she playfully stuck out her tongue. “I’ve probably been driving Simon crazy, moaning to him about how much I missed you. I guess I went overboard with my gushing about how excited I was to see you again for the first in forever on the plane ride over here because at one point he threatened to dice me like sushi if I didn’t quit yapping about you already!”

“At least the Twisted Samurai kept you company during that long flight. 12 hours was it?”

“15!” The redhead corrected cheerfully. “It’s all good though, you’re worth it! He may be surly, but Simon was great company, and he was great to pass time with. I got really lucky that he decided to coincide his vacation time with mine. He booked his plane ticket the minute I told him I was coming to Khura’in!”

“Quite the coincidence,” Apollo noted, tucking the manila folder in his hand, containing the relevant paperwork for his latest upcoming court case under his arm, then taking her hand. “It’s kinda funny how Simon didn’t even drop by to say hello to me once you guys landed – where the heck did he take off to?”

“No clue. But it’s a small country, I’m sure he’ll turn up eventually.” Athena shrugged nonchalantly as the couple headed out into the village. “Hey, maybe we should drop by Nahyuta’s place so I can at least say hello to your brother before we go for dinner. The prosecutor’s office isn’t very far from Justice Law Offices, right?”

“You read my mind.” Apollo grinned. “I was just about to drop off these legal files to him. But don’t even think about asking him to join us tonight, Miss Congeniality! I haven’t seen you in half a year, and on your first night here, at the very least, I want you all to myself!”

“You have all of me for the next month,” she promised, pausing midstride as Apollo stopped at his foster sibling’s workplace and knocked on the door, only to have no answer. “Hey, is Prosecutor Sad Monk gone for the evening?”

“No, he never leaves before 6:00. He must be in the back room. And by the way, I still can’t believe Simon called him that!” The red attorney chortled as he turned the knob and found it unlocked. “I see it’s rubbed off on you too! Just don’t say that to his face! After all, we’ve only just recently restored peace to this great nation!”

“I would never steal the nickname Reverse Panda hath bequeathed him,” Athena twittered. “Simon told me that they’re still in touch and exchange no longer hostile, very friendly emails, in which Nahyuta still occasionally calls him that – but don’t even think you can get away with calling my bestie this otherwise objectionable nickname, Apollo! Not unless you want to taste to the end of the samurai’s blade!”

“Perish the thought!” Apollo gave a mock shudder as he ushered them towards the rooms in the back of Nahyuta’s office, finding the door closed to one of them, even though muffled sounds could be heard from inside.

“That’s it.” The monk’s calm voice could be heard saying in his typical pacifying manner. “Draw those ribs in. Send energy out of the fingertips…”

“I haven’t been in this position for a long time,” a man’s very familiar cadence rumbled in response. “I didn’t think it would be this hard!”

“Let it go and move on, Simon,” Nahyuta soothed. “Take deep breaths. Feel your body melting into the mat…”

“So this is where Simon disappeared to?” Apollo’s initial surprise quickly turned into discomfiture as he hesitated outside the door. “Those two obviously got along better afterward than they did during the soba noodle court case, what with him presently visiting with my brother! I know interrupting would be rude, and would normally never dream of it – if I didn’t need to quickly go over this file with him…”

“Normally I wouldn’t mind waiting. However, the airplane food, as usual, was lacking in taste and quantity, and it’s been hours since I last ate. Therefore, I’m pretty hungry,” Athena admitted sheepishly. “I wonder if it would be rude to disrupt their yoga session if it’s only for a minute.”

There was a raucous, guttural cry heard on the other side of the door just then, followed by a series of even louder groans.

“Pretty vigorous and intense here!” Simon gasped breathlessly. “Apologies if things are a little tighter back there than they should be…”

“Arngh!” The Red Pepper’s eyes morphed into saucers, the folder under his arm falling to the floor.

“Open the heart, and crown down through the feet.”

A scuffling sound, then there was the subsequent soothing of the Royal Regent, calmly urging the prosecutor to “relax and find space in the body.”

“Nnngrrrrk!” The Stink Bug reeled back and made a strangled noise, like a cat choking on a hairball, while Athena merely raised her eyebrows slightly in curiosity. “That’s it! Forget the files, Tiger! We’re outta here!”

“Why?” She asked in surprise, appearing genuinely bewildered by her boyfriend’s flustered disposition. “We just got here! Don’t you at least give them a minute to maybe finish up their yoga?”

“Are you serious?! Is that what you think they’re doing?!” He gawked at her incredulously as he animatedly waved his hand at the door. “Either I have a dirty mind, or you’re way too unassuming Athena! It sure doesn’t sound like there’s purely ascetic, disciplined body posturing happening in there – unless you wanna count Making The Beast With Two Backs a Bikram position!”

“Dios Mio! Why must you insist on always jumping to such ridiculous conclusions?” Athena chastised her boyfriend. “You know what they say about assume – it makes an ass of U-M-E for a reason, right?”

“B – but…” He frantically gestured towards the door, noting the nonstop grunts hadn’t ceased coming from behind it.

“Relax, Apollo!” She admonished. “Didn’t I tell you about the time Trucy and I wanted the earth to come up and swallow us whole, because we thought we’d walked in on the boss and his girlfriend at the office in a… compromising position…”

“You guys walked in on Mr. Wright and Miss Maya … having relations?” The already aghast Apollo’s jaw dropped down to his chest. “How did the two of you not drop dead of mortification, right there and then? How is it they didn’t? I know that brazen spirit medium is unabashed, but surely the boss has to have some shame – considering it was his unsuspecting daughter who caught him in the act of schtupping!”

“There was no shame nor schtupping involved – get your mind out of the gutter already! It turned out Maya was only trying to get Mr. Wright to do some couples yoga to help with that stiff back of his!” Athena snickered at the memory. “Boy, I’m not sure if it was more embarrassment or relief on our parts to find out that they weren’t playing leapfrog – it just looked like they were! They were actually in Child’s Pose on Child’s Pose position!”

“Oh. I…see.”

“There you go!” She smiled triumphantly at his taken aback expression. “It doesn’t pay to jump to conclusions!”

“Well, that story notwithstanding, I still feel like I’m having déjà vu by proxy in your stead, Tiger!” Apollo’s horns drooped. “It sounds like Simon and Nahyuta are having some seriously aggressive handholding in there!”

“Very funny! Clearly, they’re too engrossed in what they’re doing to have heard us knocking, or even have heard us prattling away about their suspected copulating right outside their door. Stop being so silly and just go in there to do whatever it is you need to do quickly so we can go eat! I’m starved!”

“You’re probably right – I’m jumping the gun based on very circumstantial evidence aren’t I?”

“Yes, you are! We are in Asia, where yoga is the norm! It was during her training here that Maya picked up on it, after all.”

“Makes sense. Of course, Nahyuta would practice it as well – it’s probably part of his Zen training,” Apollo theorized as he reached for the doorknob. “I’m sure Simon’s back was feeling rather cramped from being stuck on an airplane for so long, and my hospitable sibling is simply trying to ease the tension…. Uurrngh!”

Having just poked his head into the doorway of the occupied area, the scarlet-faced young man abruptly yanked it shut just as quickly as he opened it and fell back heavily against the wall, eyes tightly squeezed shut as though trying to block out whatever he had just seen.

“Apollo, what is it?” Athena placed a concerned hand on his arm – her beau looked downright queasy! “Is everything alright? What happened?”

“I saw a side of my brother that I never wanted to see is what happened!” Apollo shouted as he swiftly spun on his heel, uncaring about the abandoned disarray of legal papers left in his wake, and desperately raced towards the entrance. “Remind me to stick to my much safer assuming… and to never to listen to you again – ever!”

“Wait – what?” The bewildered American girl called after his retreating back as she jogged after him – for a guy who she normally could outrun easily, Apollo had somehow developed an Olympic gold medalist’s sprint! “What’s going on? What side?”

“His backside, during their game of Crouching Samurai, Horny Dragon!” The traumatized defense attorney shouted over his shoulder as he sprinted out the door, fervently trying to block out the harrowing images of the Downward Facing Dog position that the naked as the day he was born Simon had been in … whilst the equally nude Nahyuta had been performing an explicitly different means of ‘Letting It Go’ behind him! “My name is Apollo Justice and I’m NOT FIIIIINNNEEEEEEE….”