17 A Whole Lotta Lovin’

Notes:

JP – Thanks Ariastella for giving me a whole lotta helping hand here…and for the southern discipline inspiration, thanks to Dsceptor27.

Blindknyttstories -Well JP has proven she can write much faster than me as she got these chapters out pretty fast if you ask me! Although I feel she just does that to one-up me…I’ll let you guys be the judge! Anyway, as always enjoy everyone! (Requesting a new supply of food and water!)

Nicole Swift’s House – January 28, 2025

“Ima housesittin’ for my reporter friend Nicole Swift, just yonder around the corner,” Lotta explained to Phoenix as they walked a few more blocks. “I taught the gal everything I knowed, and she looked up to me as her mentor. Lookee here how them tides have turned! Now I’m the one still strugglin’ for scoops, and she be out there getting’ inside info about some smuggling cocoons over there in Europe! Just butter my ass and call it a biscuit! ” 

Phoenix smiled faintly as his inebriated state of mind struggled with his need to obliterate all his memories of being man candy that day, which conflicted greatly with his desire to put a cork in the mouth of the yappy journalist, whose southern twang had only got harsher on his ears over the years. He focused instead admiring the way her perfectly formed, heart-shaped backside filled out the back of her tightly fitted black jeans and just wished she would stop talking!

As y’all from the heart of the heartland would say, I ain’t fixin’ for conversation here, woman! Frankly, you’d be a whole lotta more attractive to me if I were just able to push all your buttons… Starting with mute!  

The expression on his face was hard to miss, and Lotta was immediately contrite. She stopped abruptly on the sidewalk, right before the driveway of a small, detached house with a wraparound porch, and grabbed his hand.

“I know I sound like a green-eyed monster, being jealous of my protégé, and I don’t want yew to fret none and be thinkin’ Ima hateful kinda gal, Phoenix!” Lotta’s dark eyes peered into his earnestly and her tone became loaded with meaning as she flashed him a wink. “I reckon my day’s a-comin’– I just gotta beat those cops to the scoop of the century! Believe yew me, I may not be Lotta Hart at all times, but I can still give ya a lotta love!”

The pianist nearly groaned out loud. What was with people grinding his gears today with agitating puns? First Jean Armstrong, with Phoenix’s surname, and now Lotta Hart with her own!

Dagnabbit! Woman, I don’t want any love from you any more than I want nonsensical conversation! I know I’m supposed to be in the quest for a New Mommy for my daughter but even pissed off my gourd, I also know for a fact that there’s no way your annoying ass could ever be a contender! I already broke my sobriety rule and have been drinking like a fish today! Therefore it’s not a big deal to break my other rule and briefly regress to my familiar, mindless mating game and take a temporary halt from the dating game just this one time, right!?!

It was The Case of the Runaway Tongue, a.k.a. drunk as a skunk Angel Starr all over again, except Lotta was stone-cold sober! But while Phoenix couldn’t say that unlike with the former female detective, that he actively despised the irksome journalist in the same manner, he still didn’t think he could stand hearing her nerve grating voice for another minute! He had to find a way to shut her blathering pie hole – right about now!

“No more needless chit-chat, Lotta,” he murmured. “Talk is cheap – and I prefer to be a man of action.”

Putting on his most seductive stare, he took a step closer – he was so much taller than her – and she rose on her tiptoes to meet him as he leaned over and pulled her toward him –as if by gravitational force. His arms swept around her and pulled her to him, firm and close, then his lips were on hers, and there was a heady rush of excitement, making her tingle all over.

Lawd have mercy, this man can kiss like nobody’s business! 

He kissed her, hard, his skin stubbly and rough against her cheek. Lotta kissed him back, her fingers winding through his soft black spikes, her eyes closed. He kissed like he was drowning and she was air. It was impassioned and desperate, and unlike anything that she had ever experienced before.

Then, his kiss turned hungry. It was not the gentle kiss of a couple on a first date – it was the kiss of a man driven by raw, animal lust. The ferocity of his grip around her waist and shoulders, the grinding pressure of his lips, had her so off-balance that her mind whirled out of control. Almost as though sensing her thoughts, the pressure eased suddenly, and the kiss turned sensual. A tingling warmth shot from the silken touch of his lips and tongue, straight to her core. Her body melted into his and Lotta was hyper-aware of the hard muscles of his chest against her breasts, the warm grip of his hands around her waist and shoulders, and the wet sliding of his mouth on hers.

Damn, if they weren’t still on a public street, she would jump in his arms, have him lift her up and wrap herself around him like a tire, giving her the contact her body craved to drive her to satisfaction. It wouldn’t take much. She was so aroused and ready.

Funny thing was, at this moment, with this big and strong new version of Phoenix, she felt almost petite. Well, not petite but . . . not huge either.

But man, I definitely like a woman! A melting, boneless, aching, ravenous woman!

She summoned the willpower to pull her mouth free of his and step back – but only because she honestly couldn’t wait much longer.

“Let’s get inside, hot lips. Must have yew. Now.”

“Christ.” He glanced around and ran a hand through his hair. Those long, beautiful fingers were shaking. “I forgot where we were.” His breathing was ragged. “Damn, Lotta, you make me forget everything around us.”

She gazed up at him and, feeling amazingly liberated and deliciously bold, murmured, “I wanna taste yew. Every inch of that luscious cock. I wanna suck yew. Make yew beg me to stop because yew have to be inside me.”

“Jesus, woman.” He took a deep breath then let it out slowly. “You’re wicked. You know what you’re doing to me.” Then his eyes began to twinkle. “But I don’t agree. I’m not normally the type who ends up begging.”

She chuckled. “I don’t think so. I give a very . . . ” she paused deliberately “ . . . very . . . excellent . . . blow job.”

“Woman, you could make me come, just hearing those words from your sexy mouth.”

“Well, that’d be a darn waste,” she whispered huskily. “When yew come, I want it to be inside me.”

Clandestine Rompin’ Room – January 28, 2025

The horny pair reached the upstairs master bedroom and disrobed in record time. Phoenix immediately reached out for her, but Lotta shook her head and gave him a plaintive glance, putting up her hands against the hard wall of his bare chest, signaling that she wanted to speak.

“There’s something that I feel ya should know before we get down to business.” She anxiously scratched her bushy head, as though uncomfortable with what she was going to say, but knew she was going to say it anyway.

The hobo flopped down onto the queen-sized bed and sat back against the brass headboard, heaving a heavy sigh. What was with him and always getting overly garrulous women? Like with any conquest, he knew he’d have to indulge her somewhat, but at the same time, had hoped that her topic of conversation wouldn’t be a total mood killer! As it was, Lotta’s southern twang alone collided violently against his ears badly enough, and made Tiffany’s lazy Alabama drawl sound like Shakespearean poetry in comparison!

“I know ya been drinkin’ today – I could taste it on yer tongue. And I wanted to let ya know that I was unwittingly given the insider scoop as to why,” she began apologetically. “Earlier this afternoon, I went to get a bite to eat at Mr. Eldoon’s noodle stand, which I know is by yer place, and I ran into Lana Skye.”

“I see…” His eyes narrowed at the mention of his most recent ex-girlfriend and his expression turned wary. “Huh. Well, this conversation has taken a most unexpected albeit, interesting turnabout.”

“Ms. Skye was really beatin’ herself up ‘bout lettin’ ya slip through ‘er fingers, ya know.” Lotta sat down next to him on the bed, regarding him anxiously. “Bless her pea-pickin’ little heart! Says ya were feelin’ like a cheap whore and wanted a real relationship, but then she done goofed! She was so mad at herself for done goin’ and pullin’ a dang cottin’ pickin’ move that made yew jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo! It’s just that them deviant kinks were all she knowed cuz of her ex, the Rhinestone Cowboy. She din say exactly what happened between y’all, but after seein’ all ya fought through in court, I figured it musta been mighty big to spook a brave fella like yew.”

“Mighty big? Is that how she chose to reference it?” Phoenix snorted derisively at the unintended innuendo.  “Yeah, Lana did freak me out, Lotta. But I honestly don’t feel like talking about it.”

“It’s yer choice, Mr. Strong, Silent and Sexy…”

“It’s nothing personal,” he assured her, raising his hand to gently rest it against her cheek. “I’m just not in an overly talkative mood right now. It’s been one of those days, you know?”

Lotta nodded, and suddenly, a strange gleam came into her eye. Rather than move her face away from his palm, she instead jerked her head to the side and began bumping it against his hand, repeatedly! Startled and confused, Phoenix jerked his hand away, only to have her grab his wrist and use it to strike herself in the cheek, over and over again!

“This brings back memories of yew slappin’ me when yer gal pal done got herself a murder rap for the second time in Kurain!” She exclaimed delightedly, her eyes as bright as stars as she brought up a nearly forgotten memory of his, which filled him with an immediate deluge of self-reprimand and guilt. “Do ya remember that?”

Phoenix closed his eyes as waves of shame washed over him at the recollection. Eight years ago had been the first and only time he had ever dared raise his hand to a woman.

And it had happened because Lotta had been bad-mouthing Maya Fey.

Kurain Village – June 20, 2017

“Now, this kid,” Lotta had declared, flicking her finger against his photo of Maya. “I think she needs to be taught some manners. This here’s her second time in the stew, right? My Pa woulda slapped me straight!”

“Y-Yeah…” Phoenix muttered darkly, taking the photo out of her offending reach and mentally counting to ten to curb his mounting anger.

Lotta smirked and gave him a knowing look. Her blasted hick accent sounded like nails on a blackboard to the defense lawyer’s ears.

“Ya know what they say, if there’s a second time, there’s bound to be a third, and a fo-”

It was Doug Swallows from college all over again. That had been the only other time the pacifistic Phoenix Wright had ever gotten physically violent with another human being. The stuck-up British wannabe had been throwing shade at Feenie’s beloved Dollie by unsuccessfully warning the naïve, besotted simp that the demon girl was bad news and to steer clear of her. It didn’t matter that ultimately, poor Doug had been right in his futile warning.

All the pink-sweater-wearing crybaby had heard was someone slandering the girl he’d loved.

Infuriated and unaware of his own strength, the lovesick student had reacted entirely out of reflex, roughly shoving the other man to the ground with all his might.

At that moment, history repeated itself.

Lotta Hart never got to finish her obnoxious, semi-slanderous sentence about the spirit medium.

Phoenix didn’t even stop or take time to think. In an uncharacteristic fit of temper, the normally peace-loving, spiky-haired man’s hand reached out, as though he had no control of it, and connected against the side of the journalist’s completely unprepared cheek, leaving a bright red mark from the open-palmed smack to the kisser.

The Southerner’s head jerked back from the unexpected blow but unlike Doug, she managed not to fall back. More than likely the excess weight of her afro kept her grounded and balanced upright!

The blue attorney quickly withdrew his hand, knowing he’d been wrong, but unable to stop himself from still glaring daggers at the frog-mouthed, too big for her britches troublemaker, silently daring her to continue.

I’m not apologizing! Phoenix fumed. God forgive me, but I’m not. I refuse! Nobody, but nobody talks smack about Maya in front of me. Not as long as my heart still beats and the blood is coursing through my veins!

“OW!” Lotta whined, clapping a hand to her face while looking at him like a wounded puppy. “Nngh! Ya didn’t have to slap me. I get it, I get it. Sorry…”

Back to present day

“Lotta, I swear to you on all that is holy, that was the first, last, and only time I’ve ever raised my hand on a woman, in my entire life.” Phoenix expelled a heavy breath and affixed his companion with his most remorseful expression. “I never did apologize to you for that, but now I can only plead your forgiveness for having ever done such an awful thing.  It was inexcusable, and there are no words to describe how sorry I am for such an unjustifiable reaction.”

“Heck, handsome, I ain’t lookin’ an apology!” Lotta stared at him with a stupefied expression. “Yew was just shuttin’ my big mouth! I shoulda knowed when I first saw the death glare in those intense eyes that yer lady friend was too sensitive topic to discuss!” She chuckled ruefully. “It just took yer hand colliding with my mug to done smack some sense into me!”

“Objection! Maya Fey was merely my assistant, and not my lady friend or anything of the sort, in any way, shape, or form!” Phoenix snapped harshly, not realizing until the words were uttered that he sounded much more angry and defensive than he’d intended. He cursed himself for his reflexive, untamed outburst. Even though she’d been out of sight for all these years, even the topic of his erstwhile office manager made him lose all control of his mind and emotions!

 Goddammit! When will that ever stop?!

“Er, sorry, I didn’t mean for that to come out the way it did. Um, the point, is I sincerely apologize…”

“Don’t be beatin’ yerself up like that!” Lotta still hadn’t released his wrist and attempted to slap herself with his resisting palm once more. “Ya have no idea just what pleasurable memories ya triggered and what inner beast ya unleashed within me with that untamed, passionate response of yers! It reminded me back when I was a little girl and Pa would give me five across the eyes for being a l’il rascal!”

“You’ve got to be shitting me!” He was utterly agog. “Are you telling me that back when I slapped you – that you actually liked it?!”

“I loved it!” She exclaimed, a big ear-to-ear grin on her face as she leaned forward. “As a matter a fact… I want you to do it again!”

“Are you fisting me?!”

Jesus Christ with a crack pipe! This broad is nuttier than squirrel turds!! Jesus H. Christ… are there absolutely zero normal women left out there in the universe?!

“Slap me again!” She commanded, attempting to raise his palm against her cheek. “Dang it, Phoenix, take that big manly handy yers and slap me the way Pa used to!”

“What in the name of Lady Gaga’s diamond bustier is wrong with you?!” He yanked his hand away and shook his head, eyes wide with alarm. “I flat out decline to do such a thing and I don’t care if it’s your bizarre little kink! I am not going to markup your face, just because you get some sort of perverse thrill from it!”

“Dawgonnit, yer no fun at all!” Lotta’s face fell with disappointment at his adamant balking, but she perked up again in the next instant. Then, without any shame or preamble whatsoever, she flat out turned around, stuck her head between the brass metal frame bars of the headboard, and wiggled her bare behind at Phoenix.

“Whaddya say about slappin’ these cheeks then, butter buns?”

Phoenix just stared at the proffered posterior before him with incredulous round eyes.

Fair enough. Spanking is not something completely outside my realm of comfort and not totally out there or something I’ve never done before…

These were the thoughts he reassured himself with as he hesitantly obeyed the request. Lotta squealed, as happy as a pig in the mud at his repetitive administrations and kept insisting he repeat the action over and over again until eventually, her backside was the same color as her Afro hair, and his palm was actually sore!

“Er… Have you had enough already?” He asked, at last, having gotten no thrill out of the action whatsoever! Perhaps this was because his own behind was still suffering the ill effects of the beach incident with Iris. Regardless, he was sure if someone were to start slapping his ass right now, he’d be “squealing like a pig” as well!

Although not in a fun way, and more like the poor guy in the infamous Deliverance movie scene!

“Fo’sho!” Lotta chirped, releasing her hold on the bars, which she had been gripping so tightly, her knuckles had turned white. “I reckon that woulda tided me over quite nicely!”

She then attempted to move backward and release her head on the bars. Phoenix could see the muscles in her body straining in her efforts to pull free but to no avail. He peered over at her thrashing body and became concerned by her frustrated grunts.

“Ah, is everything all right?” He ventured, even though his panicked brain was starting to wonder if he would need to call the fire department and tell them to bring some sort of emergency saw!

“Lawdy help me! I’m stuck!”

“Holy fucking shit tits! Are you serious?!”

“My head… it’s jammed here between these two dang bars tighter than a flea’s ass over a rain barrel!”

Maybe she should try trimming that blasted beehive Afro some time! The uncharitable Phoenix was caught between horror and hysterical laughter.

“Um… What can I do? Should I hunt for some kind of lard from the kitchen to maybe slick the sides of your head and hopefully slide it out?”

“Well, don’t just stand there jawin’!” Lotta hollered. “Do something, dagnabbit!”

“Stop yelling! I’m thinking!”

At that moment, inspiration hit him, and a mischievous smile flickered across his features. Without warning, he leaned over and begin tickling the soles of Lotta’s bare feet.

“Stawp that, ya dang peckerwood!” She began to roar maniacally with mirth. “T – that tickles somethin’ fierce!”

“That’s the idea…” The DILF continued the ruthless torture method for another few seconds, before Lotta squawked with indignation and catapulted out from between the bars faster than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking competition, entirely by sheer force of will, in trying to escape his wriggling fingers. She collapsed onto her back with her head by the foot of the bed, still laughing like crazy, but this time from utter relief.

“Phoenix Wright, you are a brilliant, out-of-the-box, problem-solving genius!” She gasped, wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes. “Ima mighty torn between thanking ya for my freedom, and telling ya what a dang mean thing it was ya just done there!”

The pianist shrugged innocently, although his eyes were twinkling with merriment.

“Hey, it worked, didn’t it? My next trip was going to be to the kitchen to fetch the butter dish, after which we probably could have used your hair to grease up a baking sheet!”

“Dang yew and yer twisted sense of humor ya blasted Yankee!” Lotta jerked up then, and before the card shark knew what was happening, had crawled on top of him and straddled his waist, pinning his arms above his head while grinning down at him wickedly. “I reckon what’s good for the goose is good for the gander! I’m fixin’ to thank yew for yer heroics in making me a free woman!”

Drawing back, her eyes darkened with desire as they scanned his nude body from head to toe. There was a swell of pride inside him at her obvious admiration.

“Lawd have mercy, Phoenix! Ain’t ya just the hottest thing I’ve seen?” A devious smile curled her lips upward as he felt her soft fingers start to trail over the tightly packed muscles of his abs, causing him to inhale shakily.  “I guess I done figured out how ya managed to take out those antique double doors of the channeling chamber back in the day, huh? Didn’t they have a metal latch on them too, if I remember correctly?”

She traced each chiseled ridge of his torso delicately, using one hand, while the other stroked his hip, slowly moving upward to his waist. He wasn’t used to such light touches. Usually, the sex was more fast and furious, though he certainly wasn’t averse to this much more sensual form of delight.

It wasn’t until her fingers lightly brushed over the area just below his rib cage that he was suddenly reminded of something very embarrassing.

Suffering serpent and the rainbow! I’m ticklish as hell!  

The sensitive spot was like a two-inch line that started at his bottom rib and led inward, towards his navel and then along his cut lines and treasure trail. With Lotta’s feather-light touch now skimming over the area, Phoenix had to bite his lip to keep his laughter in.

Unfortunately for him, the reporter was more observant than one might have expected, and her innate curiosity got the better of her. Allowing her fingers to linger over the well-defined area, she noticed how the squirming stud muffin beneath her seemed to be turning red in the face.

She felt her stomach bubble with excitement when she could make out the sight of him fighting back a smile and the laughter in his indigo eyes.

No freakin’ way! I’ve gotta hear this!  

Lightly digging the pads of her fingers into the spot, she watched intently with a growing smile as his body seized up, his face getting redder and the smallest amount of moister at the corners of his eyes. His lips were twitching up… Until he could finally take it no more, and his face finally exploded with laughter.

Actually, it wasn’t quite laughter…

Well, turn me upside down and paint me blue! He’s giggling! How cute is that?! Lotta couldn’t help but grin like an idiot, she was so endeared. The giggles bubbled up from his grinning lips, eyes squinched shut tight as he tried to wriggle away from her hand.

“S-stop! Hee hee! N-no! Hee hee hee hee! P-please! Hahahaha!”

This continued for several more moments until Lotta finally decided that they were even, and halted her relentless fingers. There were tears of laughter in her eyes.

“How in tarnation are ya so dang adorable and sexy at the same time?!”

“Please, don’t  tell anyone!” Phoenix felt himself blushing to the tips of his hair. “Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is?”

“My lips are zipped,” she winked. “Wait no they ain’t! They’re moist, and parted and headed right about…here…”

Phoenix drew in a sharp breath as she ran her tongue over one pert, flat nipple, then sucked it leisurely. With her free hand, she lightly tweaked his other one while giving it the lightest of tugs, sending a flickering bolt a delight down to his steadily hardening groin.

In response, he involuntarily bucked his hips up into her, seeking more contact, but this only resulted in a sharp piercing pain from the damn crab bite! While it’d gotten better, it still hurt and still made sitting difficult.

Without warning, Lotta rolled him over onto his stomach and he instinctively freaked out, as flashbacks of the strap-on incident with Lana flooded him, and he thrashed wildly beneath her, this time in panic!

“Whoa, buddy! Calm down! I ain’t plannin’ to stick anythin’ weird in yer tail if that’s what yer worried ‘bout!”

The poker champ visibly relaxed somewhat but was still sweating, his heart hammering in his chest, even as he attempted to give Lotta the benefit of the doubt.

“I was at one of yer Phoenix Wright fan club gatherings a couple of nights ago and Iris seemed to be lamentin’ over the fiasco she made of yawls’ date; somethin’ ‘bout a crab bite to the keister. Anyhoo, I got some medical liniment from back home that should help heal and numb the pain a bit. I’m just gonna rub it in, that’s all.”

Lotta reached for her purse on the bedside and pulled out a small tub of what looked like a homemade salve and placed it on the bedside table, then held up her hands, palms up, as if to show that she meant no harm.

“Well butter my ass and call me a biscuit! You’re a skittish one, ain’tcha? I can understand why, so dang, I won’t touch ya if ya really don’t want me to.”

“No, it’s fine.” Phoenix let out a deep, shaky breath, hoping he wasn’t about to regret this. “I – I’ll trust you.”

She straddled his back and focused her attentions on his rear end, then sucked in a deep intake of air at the sight.

“That’s one mighty fine behind! Yes indeedy! If it weren’t fer that mean-lookin’ bite there, I’d love to give them sweet cheeks a nice, wholesome squeeze!”

Phoenix felt himself blush profusely at the compliment. What was it about his ass that made the women get so kooky? His cheeks clenched and he barely suppressed a squeak when he felt Lotta lean over then, and place a feather-light kiss … on the small of his back, just above his buttocks. His face heated up with bashfulness, lower body tensing unintentionally at the contact.

No! No! Don’t tense! She’ll notice!

Too late! He buried his face in the pillow at the sound of her delighted squeal.

“Well, lookee here! Ya got the cutest little dimples in these cheeks, too!”

This knowledge made Phoenix unwittingly let all a soft moan of embarrassment.

My life is over… This information will be all over the tabloids in just a few days… Goodbye privacy… 

“I-I’m sorry! It’s just – dang it, you’ve got the hottest backside this side of the sun!”

Her salve-slickened fingers were cool against his skin. She started by lightly dabbing at the bite with two fingers, then slowly drawing the pads over the length of the affected area. Afterward, she got more ointment and began to rub a circle around the injury, a small topical ring that was steadily growing bigger as she left none of the bruised area untreated. It was quite nice. He could already feel the ache that he’d slowly been growing accustomed to dulling and her soft fingers were firm but gentle.

“Now… time for something fun…” Lotta reached into the bedside table and pulled out a bottle of massage oil, the kind she had insured wouldn’t interfere with the salve. It also worked as an erotic body oil.

With a pop, she poured a generous amount into her hand. Closing the lid and placing the bottle back on the nightstand, she rubbed her hands together, getting them nice and slick.

Phoenix gasped, his face burning when he felt oil-slick hands grab his full, tight buns. They fondled him, and it was initially kind of daunting as her thumbs rubbed circles into specific spots that were sensitive, halting his struggles as he then turned into jelly.

Lotta rocked her hips above him. He could feel her naked sex rubbing against his back, spreading the oil all over him. While he knew in his head that the slickness was a result of that oil, it felt like… like…

Oh, God…yes…

He bit his pillow, feeling his cock grow hard at the prospect of the woman rubbing her feminine lubricants into his back. It was making him more receptive to the feel of her soft hands on his rump. When he felt the tip of her slim pinky slide into him, he was too deeply engrossed in the massage and his mind too hazy to understand what was happening.

There was only a slight unaccustomed sensation as he was stretched. The digit remained stationary until he fully relaxed again, at which point, he could feel it inching slowly deeper inside him. The adjustment periods were generous, but they helped him to relax into the strange intrusion. The fullness he felt as a result was at first odd, but not necessarily unpleasant. It definitely didn’t hurt as she gently rotated her finger and pressed in a bit more – the oil was very slick and ensured this. Her other hand made things easier to bear as it continued to caress his other uninjured cushion.

Then, something happened… The tip of her finger brushed lightly over something buried deep inside him. It stimulated all the sensitive nerves within him, sending a sputtering shock of desire straight to his balls. He yelped in surprise, awakened from his daze he arched his back, wave after wave of ecstasy surging through his body.

“Sweet salty balls – YES!”

Above him, hands busily working him to a frenzy, Lotta smirked triumphantly to herself.

Phoenix was little more than a ball of putty in her hands. The tender manner in which she palmed his abused buns, combined with the fluid motions of her rocking and the cool, numbing effects of the ointment had left him feeling very appreciative. After so much mistreatment, it was nice to have a partner being kind to him again. The fact that he hadn’t even needed to ask was even more of a pleasant surprise. Had he been in his right mind and not in an overly relaxed, drunken, horny state, he might’ve questioned why Lotta Hart, the reporter, who was always on the lookout for a scoop, was being so nice to the Forgin’ Attorney.

The fact that she seemed to have been prepared for a scenario in which she happened to be his next roll in the hay would’ve also been highly concerning.

Alas, the union of cheap wine, trauma, and a great tush massage had him thinking at a snail’s pace, thus he noticed none of this.

He soon found himself zoning out, his breathing deep and eyes drooping with all his muscles relaxed. A sigh escaped his lips, barely registering much else going on around him.

At the sound of the former attorney’s deep, labored exhaling emitting beneath her, Lotta immediately got up and started rearranging things to suit the scene she wanted.

Carefully removing the pillow from under Phoenix’s head, she grabbed his hips and lifted them before placing them comfortably on top of the pillow. It took a minute or two, but she eventually got everything ready for the money shot.

She’d refastened his red necktie loosely around his neck along with his blue suit jacket. After a second, she’d gotten another pillow and put it under his head to replace the one she’d taken. Boy, was she ever glad that she had! After just a bit of positioning, Lotta couldn’t wait to finish her little photo-op, because dayum if that ass wasn’t the most biteable thing she’d ever seen yet!

With the pillows in place, it made his back arch wonderfully, accentuating the toned muscles in his full, graspable booty. She could even see those adorable little butt dimples of his, being highlighted by the tensing of his back.

Then, there were his legs – just regular guy legs, though the hair was ever so slightly less thick and coarse than most – something she never would’ve paid particular mind to, had she not been manhandling him!  However, they were also very well-muscled and formed, suggesting that he exercised regularly.

The prettiest part of the picture, though, was the scene revealed by the mere spreading of his thighs. Laying in full view of her camera, flopped over the side of the pillow between his legs was a FINE piece of man meat, still fully erect and slightly reddened as it beat in time with his lulled heartbeat.

As she snapped a few pictures with her ever-present camera, Lotta couldn’t help but bite her lip in appreciation and could feel the excitement uncoiling within the pit of her stomach like an unwinding rope. The man was mighty impressive!

When she had satisfied herself with taking enough glory shots of him in this prostrate position, inspiration suddenly hit her, and she busied herself fumbling for the handcuffs she kept in the night table drawer. As she clasped the metal rings around each of his wrists and then affixed them to the posts on the brass bed frame, Lotta was practically panting at the sight of his taut arms stretched out to full-length.

Phoenix looked downright delectable with his tie loosened and the blue suit jacket hanging open revealing to the world his beautifully sculpted body. Lean, but excellently toned, masculine muscles bulged out due to how his body was being forced to stay. She could scrub her entire laundry load in the People Park River using that washboard stomach! The skin of his pectorals was drum-tight, dark nipples hard.

Also, she knew firsthand what an erogenous zone they were!

So much to write about!

His feet were spread out on top of the bed with his knees positioned slightly higher than his hips at that particular angle. With his legs spread wide, it put his package on full display.

“Heaven help me, this is so dang sexy!”

This… This was too good a shot to miss out on! Snapping a few pictures of his supine, constrained body, she couldn’t stop herself from moaning at the sight of restful bliss on his handsome face. He was assuredly the most beautiful man she’d ever had in her bed, and ever would again. It wasn’t just the fact that Phoenix Wright was gorgeous, with a body like a Greek god, and looked even better now than when she’d seen him last. The years had been good to him; he was as handsome as he’d always been. The stubble, smoldering gaze and callous attitude lent him a rough, devil-may-care exterior that was both darkly attractive and inexplicably thrilling. Not to mention those mesmerizing, sapphire eyes…

She actually felt kind of bad about what she was going to do come tomorrow morning.

It wasn’t just his appearance though. From what she’d seen of his behavior with that Fey girl back in the day, he was as faithful as the day was long to those who earned the right to keep a piece of his dedicated heart. Strong, strapping, and loved his daughter like she was his own, even though she was adopted and her biological father had essentially been the man to flush his career down the crapper. Moreover, although Lotta had made sure he’d never spotted her, she had checked out his performances at the Russian bar and had heard him sing. And boy, could he ever croon! Not the best at tickling those ivories, though!

Ever since she’d seen him take down those huge wooden double doors for that Fey girl, Lotta had taken a shine to him.  Oh, she’d gone back to better examine the channeling chamber. Thick mahogany doors, a good 3 to 4 inches thick, painted to look like charcoal. It had a wrought iron deadbolt lock and hinges. Those weren’t chambers, they were a flippin’ medieval vault! All that, yet Phoenix Wright had just football tackled them, busting them wide open like it were nothin’! All because he’d heard the sound of two gunshots!

With all these factors combined, it was a fact, that for some time now, she’d developed a tiny crush on him.

Personal feelings aside though, Lotta had no choice! There was no way she was going to get an opportunity like this ever again and she couldn’t, wouldn’t let it slip through her fingers, damn it! She needed this scoop, or else her boss would fire her and who knew how long it would be before she found another news agency willing to take her on.

“Sorry, Sexy, but it’s either yer already non-existent dignity or everything I’ve been working fer since I moved here.”

Phoenix began to stir suddenly. Quickly, Lotta stashed away her camera.

“W-what? How’d wind up like this?!” Sleepy, half-lidded eyes blinked open, looking confused as he glanced up and saw that he was handcuffed to the headboard.

“Oh goody, yer awake now,” Lotta drawled. “Now that I’ve ensured we were even, Tickle Me, Elmo, I can get to the part where I put my money where my mouth is!”

She strutted over to him, affixing her most coy, seductive expression.

“Ya do remember me telling yew earlier I’m very talented with my tongue, dontcha? Well, Ima gonna be provin’ it to ya now, and yew can’t do anything about it but lie back and enjoy!”

Her fingers brushed the warm, smooth skin of his shaft.  She stroked him softly, her hand firmly covering him as he grew harder by the moment in her palm. She pressed lightly, and two of her fingers swept over his balls. Phoenix gasped, and Lotta tried a light stroke. The ache, the need, came roaring back, shaking loose inside.

“Mmm. God, I do love that cock.”

He let out a slow breath, as soft as he could, but there was no hiding his reaction from her. Then he ruined the illusion of his self-possession by sucking in a breath when her fingers moved over the tip. Lotta’s hand slipped between their bodies and wrapped it around him. He jerked, his breath catching in his throat. His rod lurched in her hand.

Poor fella’s about to explode. Her hand shifted to his balls, finding them hot and full. Phoenix shuddered in response.

Her lips parted.

He watched, spellbound, as he arched his hips to maneuver the flaring tip of his head against her lower lip. She remained immobile, allowing him to spread a thin coat of pre-cum on her mouth.

His groan felt like it was ripped out of the depths of him.

Her tongue came out, pink and quick, wetting the head of his manhood. An uncontrollable shiver of excitement rippled up his spine. Her lips enclosed the rim in a tight clamp while she licked eagerly, giving him the impression she wanted to press his taste deep into her like she was doing a rubbing etching with her tongue to find patterns on his dick. Her carefulness, her obvious hunger – the sheer strength of her tongue –it all drove him to near madness.

She continued to suck, and there was no other direction for him to go but jolt his hips upward in that volatile moment. She pushed forward with her head. Several more inches of his member filled her mouth. He thrilled at the sensation of sliding against her wet tongue, of being surrounded by her sultry heat.

As Lotta leaned over and drew him deep into her throat, his head fell back as he groaned in that primeval way that made her pussy clench. She clutched his muscular thighs as she sucked him, drawing her head back and then taking him deep into her throat again. She bobbed her head faster, sucked harder, knowing he needed release. He lifted his head and watched as his dick slid between pink lips. She moaned softly, and he clenched his eyes closed as the vibrations from her vocal cords buzzed into his flesh.  Wet, sucking sounds intermingled with his grunts of pure rapture.

He transformed into an animal in those precious seconds, a creature that lived only to vanquish its hunger and survive another day.

Her hands slid from his thighs to his bum, all the while her mouth continuing to make his eyes roll back in his head!

Her fingers pressed into his butt muscles, all the while her palms fondled them. She’d push the surprisingly supple pair of full, muscled buns together then roll down before parting them as she forced them up. Soon after, she’d push the rear mounds back together, starting the process all over, creating two circles of movement.

Again with the ass! What’s up with everyone’s fascination with my rear?! Phoenix, himself, certainly didn’t see anything special about it! Nevertheless, her hands felt amazing! Pressing, fondling, squeezing, kneading… He couldn’t stop himself. He bucked back into Lotta’s massaging hands, loving the feel of a woman’s soft hands on his rump.

He’d been so primed before that it was almost too much for him to bear. He nearly shamed himself further and came on her tongue right then and there. The truth was, he was about to detonate, and he hated that reality almost as much as the fact that he couldn’t control his need to surrender. Only his greed to be inside her, the desire to relish the moment, helped hold him back.

“I’m so close!” He gasped. “You win, Lotta! I need to have you! Now!” 

“Don’t need to ask me twice!” Rushing to the closet, Lotta grabbed a white Stetson and perched it atop her poufy head. Phoenix cracked up at how comical the cowboy hat looked, precariously perched, atop her cotton-candy cloud of hair.

“Why the heck would you have a hat that doesn’t even fit over your entire head?!”

“As long as I remain upright, it oughta sit just fine! And besides, it seemed fitting for
the occasion, pardner!” Without preamble, Lotta straddled him. “Ready to be saddled up, cowboy? Cuz Ima take yer stallion self for the ride of yer life!”

He arched up sharply, a curse cutting through the room as her wet heat sank down onto him.

“You’re soaked already.”

It was glorious. He thrust inside, plunging deep, filling her, making her whole. He bucked against her, desperate for more.

“Yee-haw! Give it to grandma – er LOTTA!”

Every time he lifted and pounded into her, an involuntary groan of pleasure escaped her throat. She’d never been fucked so hard. She was so close and he hadn’t even touched her.

“Oh Gawd, Phoenix! Yes! Keep on fuckin’ me!”

“So…damn…naughty,” he gasped between rough thrusts. “You’re such a fucking tease, Lotta.”

The sensual momentum inside him was climbing quickly. His body tensed and his breathing disintegrated into urgent pants.

Lotta wanted to snatch at the coiled pressure and force it to finally go. Her body started to shake as waves of heat and cold washed over her. His rhythmic gyrations and skillful movements deep within her trapped her in erotic urgency, and, knocking the hat to the floor, her eyes closed and her head flung back, feeling the drug that was Phoenix course through her veins.  And then, with a long shriek of bliss to tell him that it was now, he countered with some cries and pants of his own, she collapsed on top of him.

At last, Lotta rolled off him and flashed him a sultry smile, which he drowsily returned.

“Well, ain’t yew grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ a sweet tater,” she drawled.

“Damn!” He rasped. “You’re all woman, alright! I trust the enjoyment was mutual?”

“Are yew kiddin’? I’m happier than ol’ Blue layin’ on the porch chewin’ on a big ol’ catfish head!”

“Good to hear.” Phoenix blinked and then tilted his head upward to look back at the handcuffs. “Now that I can be rest assured about a job well done, you think you can finally let me loose? I sort of need to use the bathroom.”

“Sure thing, stud!” Lotta fumbled in the night table for keys to the handcuffs, which she had swiped from a private investigator she’d hooked up with several months ago, only to come up empty-handed. She pursed her lips in annoyance and fumbled around in the second drawer with the same results. “Huh. This is awkward…”

“Awkward?” Phoenix asked apprehensively. “What’s awkward?!  Why did you say awkward?!”

“Calm yer tits!” She exclaimed loudly, in part to cover up her growing nervousness. “I’ll bet my bottom dollar the keys are here…”

“Tell me you’re shitting me!” Phoenix gaped at her, bug-eyed. “Are you telling me you’ve lost the keys to the handcuffs?!”

“Ain’t nobody lost nuttin’! They’re just… Temporarily missing…”

“Is this some kind of a sick joke?” Phoenix impotently thrashed against the handcuffs. “What if you can’t find them?! Then what?!”

“No need to get a bee in yer bonnet! Ima go check the other rooms. Mighty sure they’re around somewhere…”

Except they weren’t.

After combing over every inch of the house for over 20 minutes, the captive man was certain his bladder was positively about to burst, and his latest conquest was still unable to locate the missing keys!

Finally, because there was no other choice, the mortified Lotta now had to contact the local police and tell them the entire humiliating story. The cop who answered the phone laughed like a loon on loon tablets but assured her he’d come over right away.

After what seemed like a million years later, the red-faced journalist, who had thrown on a housecoat over her nakedness, was escorting a large and disturbingly familiar figure into the bedroom.

“Sorry I took so long! I… I…”

The deep, rumbling voice halted immediately as he charged right in, keys extended in his meaty fist…And then let out a choking sound, much like a cat with a hairball, at the unanticipated sight of his old friend from days of yore, still completely stark naked, and spread-eagled out on the bed!

“Holy hellballs!” A horror-struck cry was emitted at that moment, although it was hard to tell if it was from the Detective or Phoenix himself, as they both squawked in simultaneous dismay at this completely unheralded encounter of one another!

“Cap wearing catfish flopping a crime beat, pal!” The trenchcoat-wearing officer clapped a hand over his scandalized eyes. “Normally, I’d say ‘long time no see’, except this is more of you than I wanted to see, ever!”

The former attorney squeezed his eyes shut at the sight of the flatfoot. This shouldn’t have surprised him in the least, because of course, it had to have been this cop, of all the ones in the entire precinct, to arrive at the scene! After all, considering this was about the fortune’s fool that was Phoenix Wright, why would the Detective be anyone other than… Dick freaking Gumshoe?!

“Lord split me into three whole halves and put me out of my misery already!” The spiky-haired man groaned in ultimate, supreme humiliation, wishing the world would open up and swallow him at that exact moment! Had it been possible to die of mortification, he would’ve gladly done so in that very instant!

The burly detective purposely kept his head turned away as he quickly unlocked one side of the handcuffs, then pressed the keys into Phoenix’s hand and covered his eyes once again, allowing his old friend to unlock his other wrist by himself. Giving an ecstatic cry of relief at his freedom, the elated pianist jumped up from the bed, totally forgetting his state of nudity, not realizing that he’d made certain exposed parts also bounce along with him until he heard the strangled, horror-struck gurgle emerge from Gumshoe’s throat.

“Christ on a crutch, pal! Remember your shame!”

Blushing furiously, Phoenix clapped his hands over himself for the sake of modesty while a horrible feeling of déjà vu came over him.

How traumatically horrendous is it that unfortunately, this is not the first time those exact words have been screeched at me? Equally atrocious – the good Detective officially has a higher-pitched, horrified squealed than my teenage daughter!

“Double whiz fish and fiddlesticks!” Gumshoe abruptly turned towards the silent, discomfited Lotta. “Why couldn’t you cover him up with a face towel or something?!”

“Number one, cuz it’s laundry day, and all the cleaner, bigger towels are in the hamper!” Lotta retorted, then smiled smugly. “And two, trust me, ain’t nuttin to be ashamed of here! Ain’t no itty bitty scrap of face cloth is gonna cover that thing! Can’t ya see he’s both a grower and a shower?!”

“Urgh!  Trust me, I’m trying really hard not to…” Gumshoe groaned and jerked his head in the other direction while shucking his trench and tossing it at the hobo. “Jumping vehicular homicide, pal! Put that shizz away already!”

Wright Talent Agency – January 29, 2025

The next morning, Trucy was flipping through the TV channels, while beside her, Phoenix had his exhausted head thrown back against the sofa cushions.

He’d outright confessed to his daughter to both drinking heavily and a meaningless fling last night, and had been apologizing repeatedly for breaking his promise. However, he refused to go into further details about his hellacious evening until she turned 35! He had thwarted her inquiries by simply explaining he’d suffered from a seemingly never-ending series of horrible, traumatizing events, which had kept getting progressively worse and worse as the night rolled on, all kicking off with the Lana breakup.

Eventually, the magician had worn him down. The stress had been too much for the DILF, and he’d folded like a house made of cards. When asked, he’d told his daughter that it’d all been the emotional equivalent to the harrowing school talent show, combined with the infamous DILF Gone Wild incident when she and her friends had witnessed, put together! The exception, of course, being that this time, with Jackie flashing him, he’d been playing the unfortunate role of the unsuspecting Trucy, and it had all ended in comi-tragedy!

Ergo….did she really want to know all the gory details?

After a moment of deep contemplation on her part, his highly intelligent daughter had promptly given him the well thought out answer of, “Alright, but I’m pulling it out of you if I get even the slightest hint that it’s causing you long-term damage!”

Oh, baby girl…you have no idea…!

The young magician stopped on the news station seeing something very interesting.

“Witnesses claim to have seen what was described as a ‘Blue Wind’ resembling Sega’s own Sonic the Hedgehog. We have brief footage of such, though it is unclear what it could be. There was also sighting of strange skid marks & eye-witness accounts say that they had ice blue flames. When approached, the flames were described to burn cold. An anonymous contributor was able to snap several pictures of said flames, though they seemed to have gone out by now. As of yet, there is no positive proof to verify these claims. However, several top Forensic Specialists are at the scene investigating these marks.”

“This just in: it seems that these skid marks are coated with black ice with signs of frost exactly where the blue flames were seen. There are definitely signs that there was some kind of very strange fire there and with all the evidence, it is looking like this mysterious Ice Spirit could possibly exist. Thermals were tested & the immediate area was quite a bit colder than the rest of the city, seeming more like one might find in New York between late fall & early winter. What do you think folks? Is this real? A prank? Mass delusion? Could it be that Jack Frost has come to visit California & that’s the reason why we’ve been having snowfall over the past decade? Was ‘Rise of the Guardians’ actually prophetic and all of us adults need to do in order to see him is believe in both him and the joy to be had in a simple snowball fight? We’ll see!”

Little did Phoenix know that all over the pages of his Fan Club newsletter (only because LA Stud magazine had refused to pay or publish Lotta’s photos as in the whole mess with the handcuffs, she’d not gotten a signed agreement disclaimer from Phoenix and didn’t want a lawsuit!) was a centerfold of him asleep, with only a bedsheet to just barely cover his modesty.

The headline read, “Former Attorney Fully Debriefed! Get the inside scoop on some of his best and worst lays directly from the women’s mouths!” and “More smokin’ red-hot photos inside!”

Inside was a picture was of him on his stomach, displaying his magnificently toned ass to the world along with a doctored version. It was obviously made for comedy purposes to provide a visual aid for one ‘anonymous’ lover’s story. Across his ass-cheeks were the words “10/10! Would fuck again!”

Needless to say, the Phoenix Wright Fan Club had even more members and was growing by leaps and bounds…