20 Suck Deep, Man

When Phoenix awoke, his eyelids felt weighed down as he moved sluggishly, eyes slowly coming to focus on the harsh fluorescent lighting above. He was dimly aware of his body feeling zapped of all energy, his limbs feeling heavy and barely able to move. Saliva pooled in the back of his throat and he swallowed, trying not to panic as he took in his unfamiliar surroundings. His heart was pounding, ready to explode, and his frantic eyes scanned left and right for signs of someone coming to help him solve the mystery of why he was lying back flat on a thin gurney in a curtained cubical, the surrounding air with an undertone of bleach, with nothing else to examine but the polystyrene tiled ceiling.

The ex-lawyer could hear moans from an adjacent bed and that at least made him glad for the curtains, it meant he didn’t have to engage with whoever it was, to show any sympathy he didn’t feel because all he wanted to know was why the hell he was in the hospital, and how it was that he had no memory whatsoever of what in God’s name could have brought him there!

He reached down to draw back the thin sheet that covered him and saw a steel-blue gown covering him, falling to his knees, the fabric distressed by so much wear, yet still rough. There was nothing to hold his frayed mind or attention. Outside this space could be anything, anyone. There was nothing even to mark time. Would someone come in five minutes or five hours? Would he even know the difference?

After what seemed like an eternity had passed, and just when the hobo thought he was going to lose what was left of his mind, the curtain was swiftly drawn back, and a middle-aged male doctor in green scrubs, who appeared to be of South Asian origin, smiled pleasantly at the flummoxed pianist as he came to introduce himself.

“Well, look who decided to stay among the land of the living!” The medical practitioner’s thick East Indian accent did nothing to mask his amusement as the pianist just stared back at him dazedly. “You gave us quite a scare, so I’m glad to see you’re finally awake, Phoenix. I’m Dr. Mann. How are you feeling?”

“Confused,” he croaked, desperately wishing he had something to drink, as his throat felt as dry as sandpaper. “What am I doing here? What happened to me?”

As if reading his mind, the doctor turned and handed him a Styrofoam cup with a straw, which was on a trolley by the foot of the bed.  Phoenix drank from it greedily, gasping as the chilly liquid quenched his mouth and throat. It was only ice water, but to him, it tasted like the ambrosial nectar of the Gods, he’d been so dehydrated. The medic patiently waited until the latest ER addition was done drinking before answering his questions.

“I hope you have no objections to being informally addressed by your first name.” Dr. Mann’s bushy mustache twitched into what the poker champion could only describe as the mother of all shit-eating grins! “But given the…intimate nature of what brought you to the emergency room, I feel like I know you quite well already! Likewise, you are free to call me Sukhdeep.”

Phoenix knew the offer to use the doctor’s given name was meant to put him at ease, given his state of panicked confusion. Nonetheless, all he could focus on was the unfortunate amusing effect the Punjabi moniker was to have in American civilization! Surely, in the doctor’s native language, the name Sukhdeep was probably quite meaningful but to the card shark’s English sensibilities, it sounded simultaneously offputting and lewd.

Not to mention inappropriately, unintentionally hilariously wrong on so many levels! The patient stared at his medical provider in disbelief as he fought the urge to snicker. Holy granoly! You’ve got to be shitting me! This guy’s name is… Suck Deep…Mann?! Oh, Dear Lord! I never thought I would ever run into somebody with a worse name than Larry Butz!

“Ah, thanks, but I really don’t think I can…” he murmured awkwardly, averting his gaze, as he was afraid the other man would be able to read his juvenile thoughts. “Er, I’ll stick with calling you Dr. Mann, if you don’t mind. But, um, of course, go ahead and feel free to call me whatever you wish.”

“It’s fine. You wouldn’t be the first person to find humour in the combination of my first and last name.” The Desi man’s dark eyes twinkled mischievously. “I was the firstborn son to Indian immigrant parents, although at least with my younger sister, they decided to be more kind and give her a less droll, more Westernized name. Or so they thought at the time anyway… but I digress. Anyhow, I just thought I would break the ice with you and give you a free pass to laugh upon hearing my full name, as most of my patients do, so we could then be declared even.”

“Even?” He echoed blankly, feeling a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as the doctor’s impish grin only widened. “What do you mean?”

“Indeed! I would be lying if I did not tell you that the nature of your admission to the ER didn’t garner a few chuckles from my colleagues…along with utter amazement that you’re still somehow alive.”

Dr. Mann glimpsed down at the chart he held in his hand and whistled slightly.

“You must understand the alcohol level in your bloodstream alone would have killed most other men. At 0.30 BAC, you would normally be in an utter stupor. You have little comprehension of where you are. You may pass out suddenly and be difficult to awaken. At 0.35, a coma is highly probable. This is the level of surgical anesthesia. At 0.40 and up, we are talking onset of coma, and possible death due to respiratory arrest. Yours, Phoenix, was a jaw-dropping… 0.43.”

“Sweet crustacea of West Asia!”  The pianist’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head. “Did you just say…?”

“You heard me. You are truly a medical marvel and an overall enigma, Phoenix Wright.” The doctor arched a derisive brow as the patient squirmed uncomfortably on the gurney and turned beet red. “However did you achieve such a feat, Mr. Man of Steel? Did you suck the petrol directly from a gasoline pump?”

“Something like that…” the DILF mumbled as the humiliating memory of exactly what had driven him to chug back Boris’s illegal Russian moonshine came flooding back. “I’ve survived many near-death circumstances in my life which are probably failure medical textbooks, heh, heh. Ah, so tell me something. My elevated BAC and subsequently shocking survival – was that  the reason why you and your colleagues were having a riot?”

“No, that was why we were shaking our heads in wondrous amazement,” Dr. Mann corrected with a smirk. “The reason why we may have snickered a tad was due to the grotesque and nearly fatal faux pas made by your…sexual partner.”

“My what now?!”

Phoenix didn’t recall having engaged in any sort of carnal activity since Lotta Hart back in January. He’d been quite diligent in forfeiting his promiscuous behaviour in the quest for getting Trucy a New Mommy, which had been par for the course when he’d kicked his wino habit two years ago.

Son of a motherless goat! Exactly what the hell transpired when I blacked out?!

“It seems she grabbed what she thought was personal lubricant from her presumedly well-stocked medicine cabinet and applied quite a copious amount, to both her vagina and onto your penis.” Dr. Mann reported as he checked his notes. “But, unfortunately, it was nitroglycerin paste, a heart drug that can cause a potentially fatal drop in blood pressure. Fortunately, your fiancée discovered the two of you at the clandestine location before it was too late. You were unconscious with your pants down by your knees, and your lover passed out on top of you, wearing nothing but a housecoat and flannel nightgown.  We have been giving you both oxygen and fluids ever since to restore you to your normal state.”

Lover?! Fiancée?!

Phoenix’s jaw dropped to his chest, not sure what groundbreaking news had him more taken aback. Since being rushed in, it seemed he’d not only acquired a mystery lover – without his consent or knowledge! – but now a fiancée to boot?! And they weren’t even the same person?!

What in the Easter Bunny’s fluffy white cock is going on?!  Just how long was I out for?! I feel like Rip Van Winkle! Was I asleep for 20 years?!

“She’ll be fine, eventually. Of course, given her advanced age, it will take her much longer to recover than you, but she should be just fine, eventually. Luckily for her, the ambulance got there before her heart fully ceased beating.”

Dr. Mann pulled the side curtain back, and the anterior legist’s horror-struck gaze fell on the familiar figure lying in the cubicle beside him, from which he’d heard the earlier moans. Various machines were hooked to the still form, and he recoiled sharply as he felt the jarring sensation of having his balls jump back into his body!

Fuck me with a chainsaw! It’s Wendy FREAKING Oldbag!

“Your fiancée is a true heroine,” Dr. Mann noted. “She saved both your lives. In her…eagerness, Ms. Oldbag had squirted nearly half a tube’s worth of the nitroglycerin into her vagina…”

The doctor’s words washed over Phoenix like a bucket of cold sick and he felt nauseous to the pit of his stomach.

Holy testicles and great balls of fire! I never again want to hear the word vagina pertaining to the Chasm of Doom of that Jurassic relic! Argh! I think I  may have just thrown up in my mouth! Maybe I’ll get lucky and choke on my vomit and be put out of my misery, instead of living with the knowledge of just how much lower than the depths of Hades I hath sunken…

Unaware of what horrors he’d just unleashed upon his patient, Dr. Mann flashed a smile that was supposed to be reassuring, then drew the curtain closed and asked the poleaxed poker champ if he had any questions.

You bet your ass I have questions! Phoenix screamed silently, his body beginning to quiver with the force of his revulsion. Who the hell is my so-called fiancée? Did I engage in the abominable act of cleaning the cobwebs with the womb broom of that dried-up old fossil?! If so, why did my betrothed even bother to let me live?! I’d surely choose death over living with the fact that I somehow went spelunking into said slime cave!

“You’ve gone terribly pale, Phoenix.” Dr. Mann’s kindly face was wreathed with concern. “Are you alright?”

“I didn’t!” He squawked, voice trembling with the knowledge of this abomination. “Please tell me I didn’t! There’s no way I ever would have agreed to rumbusticate  –”

“Given that you had enough alcohol in you to float the Titanic, on top of the medical ointment on your penile area, it’s very unlikely that you would have been able to have an erection in either circumstance, never mind both. However, even with an examination, it’s more difficult with men than it is with women to medically ascertain if there was any actual penetration into Ms. Oldbag’s vagina…”

Jesus Christ on a stick dipped in cornbread fried in peanut oil and hocked at a county fair! Stop saying vagina! The DILF felt bile rising in his throat. More like The Black Hole! The real marvel here is I somehow went in the gaping maw of where no man’s gone before and lived… much against my better wishes!

“Don’t you worry, honey,” a sultry female’s voice cut in, drawing back the curtain as she entered. “Number one, my studly soldier, although dead to the world, your privates were still somehow standing at attention. But rest assured, I managed to get there in the nick of time before you and Medusa ventured into the Bone Zone.”

That voice! Where do I know it from?

Phoenix started as his eyes fell upon the owner of the purring tone, and his eyes rested on a sloe-eyed, exquisite lady, who, if memory served him corrected, would now be in her early 40s. Nevertheless, she was immaculately preserved. Her petite, curvy physique was poured into a long, clingy chocolate dress with matching elbow-length gloves, and her dark brown hair, in its short, deliberately messy wash-and-wear style, looked incredibly sexy against her olive skin, lit by a flush that made her umber eyes look bright and sparkly as they rested on him.

“Ah, señora, there you are.” Dr. Mann smiled in greeting at the Latina. “I know you’ve been quite fretful, so I’m sure you’ll be relieved to see your fiancé is awake at last – and all thanks to you.”

“Oh, there are no words to describe how happy I am to see you’re awake, lover,” smirked the vampy former producer of The Steel Samurai show, otherwise known as Dee Vasquez. “I’ve been driven nearly mad with worry!”

Holy shit snacks! Dee Vasquez?!  His jaw dropped. The same woman who tried to have me and Maya killed a decade ago by her goons in the Will Powers case… She’s my alleged fiancé?!

“Dee?” He gaped. “She’s my –”

Before he could say anything else, or think or do anything that made any sense at all, his words were cut off as Dee leaned forward and crushed her merlot-coloured lips against his, the unexpected action creating a wave of euphoria washing over him. This was no slow, gentle kiss. Out of pure instinct, his mouth opened immediately, and she gripped the back of his neck, pushing them together closer, a low moan like a growl rising from her throat as she pressed her body hard against his, effectively silencing him.

It was as though Dee had stolen a page from Phoenix’s own book about how to shut someone up when they were talking too much.

However, it was the first time, ever, that he’d been the one who’d been stifled!

OK, the alcohol must still be affecting my brain, because this woman kisses like a blowfish on batteries, and I’m not sure that’s such a bad thing….

He’d almost forgotten Dr. Mann’s presence in the room until he heard the physician awkwardly clear his throat.

Phoenix drew back, but he’d stopped talking. Dee remained close to him, her slender fist bunched up in his gown, her eyes huge and her lips so close, he couldn’t stop himself from wanting them again. He felt strangely compelled to know what that lush, pillowy mouth of hers would feel like again – but this time, without an audience present.

“Thanks for taking such good care of my betrothed, Dr. Mann.”

The femme fatale winked a heavily eye-shadowed lid at the doctor and trailed a satiny gloved finger over the poker champ’s lips, wordlessly cautioning him to remain mum.

“In light of the circumstances that I encountered when I stumbled across my darling in that heinous harridan’s home, and despite my fiancé’s admirable ability to have risen to the occasion, under the circumstances, I can still assure you that given the alcohol in his system, any patching the hatchet wound would’ve been entirely without his consent! We will let you know whether or not we’ll be pressing charges of attempted rape against Ms. Oldbag whenever she awakens.”

“We’ll be doing no such thing!” Phoenix blurted out, already shooting out of the bed and looking around desperately for his clothing, which was spotted atop the trolley in the cubicle. “I just want to put this whole nightmare behind me and get the hell out of here!”

“You really shouldn’t be discharged just yet!” Dr. Mann protested. “Given the nature and the amount of medicated lubricant that was applied to your groin area Phoenix, we should still do some more testing to make sure that everything is in working order…”

“Don’t you worry about that,” Dee purred, her voice laden with meaning. “That’s my job. As much as phoenixes are known to rise from the ashes I can assure you this bird will be flying high again sooner than you could ever imagine.”

“As you wish.” Dr. Mann acquiesced, a knowing smile tugging at his lips. “There is just one thing that’s been nagging at me since you have awoken, Phoenix. You look awfully familiar. Is it possible that you and I have crossed paths in the past before?”

“Not unless you were one of my clients back in my defense lawyer days!”

The former Ace Attorney yanked his beanie and purposely lowered his head so his blushing face was hidden from the Indian’s inquisitive gaze. Gathering together the shards of his frayed wits, he then attempted to pull the ultimate bluff upon the medical practitioner who, now that his mind had somewhat cleared, Phoenix realized he did recall all too clearly!

And why, hence, I hope to never see again for the rest of my life, lest I die of mortification!

“I assure you, Dr. Mann, I have never seen you before in my life! Besides, if we had met in the past, I’m sure would’ve remembered a man with such a memorable name, heh, heh.”

“True. I suppose I’ve mistaken you for somebody else then.” The doctor thoughtfully twirled his Zapata mustache. “After 15 years in the ER, you see so many faces that I guess they all blur together after a while. Take care, Phoenix, Ms. Vasquez. I wish you a good night – or rather, good morning, as it will soon be dawn.”

With that he promptly exited, leaving the ex-attorney and former producer alone.

“I’m going to leave you alone to get dressed, Phoenix.” She cut him off just as he opened his mouth to speak. “I’ll meet you out front. I’m sure you have a million questions and I’d be happy to answer them, but now is neither the time nor place.”

He nodded dumbly, his mind whirling with unanswered queries as he tore off his hospital gown and pulled on his T-shirt and joggers – luckily his retrieved wallet from Wendy was now back in the pocket where it belonged – before rushing out to meet Dee in the emergency room parking lot.  The Hispanic beauty was leaning back against a black Mercedes with tinted windows, puffing away at a cigarette that was within the same long holder he remembered from back in the day.

“I see your time in prison did nothing to make you kick butt,” he noted wryly as she blew out three rings into a perfect circle.

“Au contraire. I quit smoking ages ago,” she returned breezily, unlocking the car and motioning for him to get in. “This is a water vape cigarette. My brief time behind bars for my conspiracy cover-up in the Jack Hammer case, along with some time spent with my therapist, has made me come to terms with a lot of things, including no longer needing to use nicotine as a crutch.”

“Congratulations, I guess?” He slid into the plush leather seat. “I’m no stranger to giving up vices. I was an utter and complete wino up until two years ago.”

“I’ve since discovered other, more pleasurable ways to release my stress.” A meaningful pause. “Perhaps you and I can exchange different coping methods and how to replace one habit with another, hmmm?”

Unsure of how to respond, he merely nodded and lapsed into silence. The two drove along for a bit longer for a little while before Phoenix finally spoke again.

“Welp, I guess we can start with you explaining to me how we happen to be engaged?”

“These doctors are pretty uptight with only letting the patient’s immediate family in. I had to tell them that you and I were engaged, otherwise, they wouldn’t have let me see you. Also, I couldn’t very well claim that you were mi hermano, since your gringo self looks about as Latino as Brad Pitt! I will admit,  though, that you both happen to have the same sexy, squared jawline. For the record, I happen to have a preference for tall, dark and handsome, personally.”

Dee cast him an appreciative sidelong, smoky-eyed glance and smirked as he blushed endearingly.

“Also, I didn’t think they’d believe your sister would have followed you and my former predatory security employee back to her place when she saw your drunken culo outside of The Borscht Bowl Club being forcibly shoved into The Pink Princess’s car.  I recognized you immediately, even with the hat on, and I grew wary and wondered why you’d go anywhere with Hagatha Christie! Hence, I tailed her to the scene of the crime. I saw how you were stumbling into the house with that libidinous harpy, and after about ten minutes, when neither of you came out, I feared the worst. So I  got out of my car and peeked in the living room window! Ugh, I need a few drinks myself to wipe out the memory of what I stumbled upon…”

Flashback earlier that night
Wendy Oldbag’s House

The geriatric gorgon was about to climb atop Phoenix’s supine form when she, at last, spotted the uninvited guest in the open front doorway.

“Get away from that man this instant, you vile, disgusting ogress!”

“Dee!” Wendy gasped at the sight of her former employer and clutched her chest, which had unexpectedly begun to tighten almost painfully. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Saving poor Phoenix Wright, who has already suffered enough since losing his badge, from a fate worse than death, whilst preventing you from spending the rest of what’s left of your miserable life behind bars!” The producer retorted, curling her lip with disdain at the old woman. “You do realize taking advantage of a man when he’s in such a state of inebriated paralysis still constitutes rape, don’t you, you despicable thunder cunt?”

“Y –You can’t rape the willing! The wh-whippersnapper likes me!”  Wendy stuttered pitifully, as she felt her chest further constricting and her breathing now coming in shorter rasps. “He – he called me pretty…”

“The man obviously is wearing beer goggles and you damn well know it, you hard-up pathetic, predatory battle-axe!” Dee snapped, stepping into the room and pointing her cigarette accusingly. “Ugh, even my therapist would agree, Oldbag – you need help!”

“Ngh-ooooooooooh!”

The last thing the stupefied Wendy remembered was feeling her rapidly thumping heart do a complete turnabout before she felt the terrifying, unfamiliar sensation of it abruptly ceasing its beating entirely. She slumped down atop the motionless Phoenix like a sack of potatoes as the world went black.

Dee remained in place, a smug leer on her lips how the old hag seemed to have chosen that precise moment to have keeled over before committing such atrocity against an unsuspecting and no doubt, had he been conscious or sober, unwilling party. The universe would undoubtedly be a better place with this archaic, shameless, desperate sexual predator no longer on it.

Serves you right, dirtbag.

Completely unconcerned about the well-being of the geriatric would-be rapist, Dee stepped into the room and took a closer inspection of the exposed man on the couch, who she immediately recognized as Will Power’s former defense attorney, Phoenix Wright. He was unconscious and unmoving, but a quick check of his pulse indicated he at least, was thankfully still alive. She tried to jostle him out of his stupor, but he wasn’t responding. This greatly alarmed her and made her wonder if there was something worse than mere alcohol that had gotten into his system. What had that witch done to him? She had to act quickly.

With shaking fingers, she reached into her purse for her cell and dialled 9-1-1.

“I’m going to need an ambulance ASAP…”

End Flashback

Empire Bellagio Condominium – April 15, 2026

Phoenix’s mouth was still hanging open in horror as the Latina finished her rescue tale, still incapable of speech although his violated, infuriated self was going about a million miles an hour of hateful thoughts towards the wretched She-Thing!

Wendy Oldbag, you’re nothing more than a: Dirty, sadistic, shit-eating, cock-sucking, butt-fucking, penis-smelling, crotch-grabbing, ball-licking, cum-guzzling, dog-raping, Nazi-loving, child-touching, cow-humping, perverted, spineless, heartless, mindless, dickless, testicle-choking, urine-gargling, jerk-offing, horse face, sheep-fondling, toilet-kissing, self-centered, feces-puking, dildo-shoving, snot-spitting, crap-gathering, big-nosed, monkey-slapping, bastard-screwing, bean-shitting, fart-knocking, sack-busting, splooge-tasting, bear-blowing, head-swallowing, bitch-snatching, hand-jobbing, donkey-caressing, mucus-spewing, anal-plugging, ho-grabbing, sewer-sipping, whore mongering, piss-swimming, midget-munching, douchebag, ho-biting, carnivorous, mail-order prostituting back-assed twaddle fuck!

“What a twat-waffle!” Dee scorned, her tone rife with loathing as she added yet another word to his mental smorgasbord of loathing. “I don’t even want to think what would have become of you if I’d arrived even a moment later! No doubt they would have needed an ambulance for three, as I would have choked to death on the undoubted room-filled stench of ancient, cobwebbed, musty, dusty…badussy, had the shrew managed  to fulfill the dirty deed with you!”

“B – Badussy?” He stammered, still recoiling from the whole ordeal.

“The pungent, fetid odor of the three combined sources: butt, dick, and pussy. Said stench is routinely caused by vigorous sexual activity using all three sources at once, usually accompanied by a sweaty, humid room atmosphere.”

“Cock in a bucket! Why did I even ask?!” Phoenix groaned and dragged a hand down his face. “Oh boy, you’re not the only one who could use a drink right about now…are there any bars open at nearly 4:00 in the morning?!”

“No way, José!” Dee shook her head vehemently. “You’re not touching the sauce ever again, Mr. Two-Years Sober! With that kind of elevated blood alcohol level in you, I’m surprised my car didn’t explode when I turned the key in the ignition!”

The vixen had parked on Shangri La Drive in front of an upscale condominium and turned the engine off – he’d been too dazed and traumatized by the details of the Oldbag tale to have even noticed they weren’t anywhere near his LA residence – not that she’d even asked for his address in the first place! She caught his flummoxed expression and arched a perfectly shaped brow at him while devouring him with her eyes, unabashedly letting him see her unveiled desire within the dark depths.

Phoenix Wright definitely wasn’t her Prince Charming – more like an alluring Dark Knight – for the night. But she didn’t care, because she wasn’t looking for Mr. Forever. What the hell, while waiting for Mr. Right, a woman’s body could dry out and shrivel up from disuse – and she was only in her 40s now – surely she needn’t suffer from Wendy Oldbag Syndrome already?! At home, she had a drawer of adult toys, but this sexy beast would make a far sexier plaything.

He would not be a tame lover. She innately sensed that within him and had felt it when he’d kissed her back in the ER, despite trying to restrain himself. Now, watching those hooded indigo orbs, the mixture of curiosity and bewildered attraction within them, which he was trying his best to mask, a wildness she’d never experienced before began to throb inside her. It was almost as though that feeling of being bewitched earlier tonight still clung to her. Yet it had altered somehow over the past half-hour.

“What’s even more amazing,” she murmured throatily, “is that I didn’t get drunk off the liquor lingering in that mouth of yours when I took you by the tongue in the cubicle earlier either.”

“Yeah, I’d meant to inquire about that admittedly hot as-hell, hungry smooch you planted on me, Dee.” Phoenix scratched the back of his neck with a look of adorable confusion on his face. “I get that you were trying to shut me up so I wouldn’t blow your whole elaborate fiancée cover story. Yet we’re alone now, and you’re still looking at me like you want me for dessert!”

He sounded genuinely surprised at this revelation, which threw her, as she was used to more sophisticated Hollywood types. How could a hunk with such sexy bedroom eyes and a body made for sin be so humbly unaware of his desirability? Dee ran a tongue over her lips, finding the man’s lack of guile and genuine cluelessness about his appeal positively toe-tingling. Primitive desire devoured her to the point she wanted to rip his T-shirt open and taste the skin beneath. Like the yearning to ravage a serving of rich chocolate cake frosted with dark chocolate icing.

She salivated at the mere thought.

“Let’s just say sinking my teeth into sinfully delectable, yet low-calorie morsels has replaced my need for nicotine. And I’ve got quite the sweet tooth right about now.”

Phoenix’s cheeks flamed, as her response left no room for required interpretation this time.

“Um, just so we’re clear and my memory isn’t still hazy from the booze, you did try to kill me and my assistant a decade ago with your mobster squad at Global Studios, did you not?”

“Yes, and your pal Gumshoe saved both your necks, just in time,” she admitted guiltily. “But I was a different person back then. And my brief time behind bars, and my therapist, have helped me reevaluate a lot of things in my life and created a need to make amends. While I am guilty of what you just accused me of now, I do hope I’ve atoned for it, on my path to contrition, by saving you from a fate worse than death, did I not?”

“I guess you did,” he admitted. “Until you told me what really happened – or rather, didn’t happen! – I was more scared than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin’ chairs! Therefore, I’d sincerely like to thank you for rescuing me. I guess since my exposure of the truth commenced your path to absolution,  that makes us even now?”

“Not at all!” There was a naughty glint in her eye. “As far as I’m concerned, now it’s your turn to owe me – and I’m not talking about monetary payment. I want you to repay your debt to me with nature’s credit card … the kind you never leave home without!”

“So you’re essentially asking for a pound of flesh in return for your heroics tonight?” He cocked a half-smile. “One good turn deserves another?”

“You can put it that way if you so choose,” she answered breezily. “I much prefer to say: one good turn gets all the covers.  However, unlike with Oldbag, I know this time, at least, the attraction would be 100% consensual and mutual. Because I know you want me just as badly as I want you.”

Her boldness startled him, but then his customary poker face came back in play, and he couldn’t help but smirk.

“How confidently you speak, when all you have to go by is my surprised reaction to your kiss from earlier as your sole evidence to back up such a presumptuous claim.” He arched a derisive brow. “What makes you so damn sure that I want you, Dee?”

“When we kissed earlier tonight, I felt something.”

“My instinctive reflex to go along with your ruse?” He drawled, beginning to enjoy this little game of cat and mouse she was playing with him. “Nothing wrong with your self-confidence, I see.”

“I felt it – every impressive inch of it – against my knee,” she purred. “While I don’t condone Oldbag’s attempted actions tonight, now that I’ve had a firsthand view of the coveted goods, I can certainly understand her desire. I may be older now, but I’m still a beautiful woman, Phoenix, and I’ve been able to tell when men have desired me my entire life. You’re no exception. If you dared to put your lips against mine right now, we both know your body, and other parts of you would react in the same way it did in the emergency room cubicle. And this time, it wouldn’t be due to the so-called element of surprise.”

She leaned forward then so that her lips hovered just inches above his.

“Dare to call my bluff?”

Phoenix hesitated, torn between giving in to his rueful desire for the biggest man-eater he’d encountered since Angel Starr, and the ridiculous need to prove to himself that if he were to indulge her whim, it’d merely be only to prove certain parts of him still worked and weren’t scarred for life! He smiled, and a huff of laughter escaped his lips. Shaking his head, he then opened his mouth to apologize for his indecision.

“You’re taking too long,” she decreed, cutting him off first with her words, and then he felt her lips pressing against his, once again catching him off-guard with her brazenness. She leaned over and grabbed his head in her hands, her lips soft and wet, her tongue hesitating for less than a second before it slid inside his shocked, parted lips. She tasted the sweetness of his mouth and the lingering taste of liquor. But the alcohol was a faded taste, dulled by being consumed hours ago, which meant he was sober now and she wasn’t acting in a predatory Oldbag manner against a defenseless drunken man.

Steeling her nerves, Dee forced herself not to no longer contemplate what she was doing. She didn’t want to think anymore. She only wanted to feel.

She reclined his seat back and pressed herself down against him, sighing when a strangled sound vibrated in his throat. The muffled sound of his moan made her practically quiver. It was a deeper sound than his actual voice, desperate and feral. It made her press her torso tighter against his, her breasts smashed against his chest as she hungrily sought out the taste of his desire for her.

He tried to lift himself, though of course he didn’t try hard enough, and before long he was allowing her to sink on him, pressing every hard inch of his body down into the softness of hers. He tasted her mouth and brought his hands to the sides of her face, and the coolness of his fingers was warmed by the heat of her cheeks. He nibbled on her bottom lip and then suddenly tore his mouth away from hers.

“Fuck,” he whispered trying to catch his breath. The feel of her lips and tongue against his neck stole it from him.

“Yeah,” she whispered against his jaw, her full lips curving into a seductive smile. “Fuck…that’s what I wanna do…”

“Definitely.” Without hesitation, he closed the distance between them and touched his lips to hers. Softly, gently, he flirted with her mouth, dropping teasing kisses, sucking her flesh, and nipping lightly. He smelled of some ocean-tangy shampoo or aftershave, and his breath was scented with a slightly alcoholic aftertaste. As he moved his mouth over hers, his scruff brushed her upper lip, sensuous and arousing.

It was all she could do to hold back a moan. They hadn’t even parted their lips, and her body was sparking like it was ready to combust. She darted her tongue across his lips, and he opened them in an invitation she eagerly accepted. His mouth was hot, sweet, and intoxicating.

“Yes.” As the word sighed out of her, his lips were there, inhaling it and devouring her mouth with a hot, hungry kiss.

She moaned, closed her eyes, and blindly grabbed his head. Gripped him as she kissed him back.

Dee Vasquez had never been a woman who’d get swept away by a kiss. A part of her had always remained analytical. Aware of mingled breath, teeth knocking. Kisses that were too wet, too bland, or too acrobatic.

But Phoenix’s kiss banished the thought. It was a total, in-the-moment experience. Passion and bliss, relief and hunger. A sensation that flooded through her body, igniting every pleasure center.

Especially the one between her legs, where she was damp and throbbing.

She and this ex-attorney with whom she had a checkered past were opposites in so many ways. How could it be that their mouths had been designed for each other?

Their hunger met and matched. He was a gorgeous young man with the body of a Greek god, but the way he was responding to her, she imagined herself to be a sex goddess in his eyes, and now he made her feel like one. A goddess who drove him equally wild with need.

Their bodies twisted awkwardly toward each other on the reclined passenger seat, craving more. His fingers fumbled with the silky hood covering her hair, pushing it back to run his fingers through the chestnut locks.

A car light strobed through the Mercedes, making them jerk apart.

“Damn!” He groaned. “We can’t do this here.”

“My penthouse condo…on top of my glass balcony?” She whispered throatily, staring at him in the light of the nearly full moon. Oh God, he was handsome, black hair in disarray, gaze intent and burning. “What do you say, Phoenix?”

“Glass balcony, where anyone could happen to see us, huh?” There was a wicked gleam in his eye. “It wouldn’t be the first time I’d explored my inner exhibitionist with a semi-public tryst.”

“It’s still dark. But even if they do see any activity, they wouldn’t be able to tell what was going on by my perfected mask expression, because I think it would be your rapture which would give us away.” She gave a husky chuckle. “Let’s go upstairs and see which one of us has the better poker face, Phoenix Wright.”

Dee Vasquez’s Living Room – April 15, 2026

Normally Dee liked being the one in charge, the dominating party whenever she had a man in her bed. But she and Phoenix had been frantically clawing at each other and exchanging feverish kisses the entire, tantalizingly slow elevator ride up to the 35th floor, and once they’d gotten into her front door, he’d pounced like a ravenous lion, not even allowing her to divest of her shoes or bag.

“At least let me put my purse down!” She reluctantly stepped away from his arms just so she could toss her clutch onto the leather living room couch from the foyer, and was about to remove her shoes when she heard his voice, forceful and commanding.

“Turn around.” His deep voice enveloped her, sending shivers down her spine. Sultry heat enshrouded her; shivers undulated through her. Instinctively, she halted mid-action and, stilettos still on, and slowly turned to face him, too aroused to ask questions.

“Come here, Dee.” Their dynamic seemed to have shifted, and now he seemed to be the one calling the shots.

Illumination from the moon streaming in from the terrace provided an intimate, shadowy luminescent glow to the room.

She approached him on shaky legs and then because she was exactly the right height in her high heels, she took a step toward him until her body was flush against his.

He leaned forward and grazed his lips across hers. He nuzzled and sucked her lower lip between his teeth, scoring lightly, drawing her deeper beneath his spell of enchantment.

Phoenix broke the kiss, his chest rising and falling hard as he tried to catch his breath. She stared up at him, already deep in a sexual fog, as he cupped her face gently in his hands and pressed a soft kiss to her mouth.

His hands whispered down her arms and he turned her around slowly with his hands on her waist, her breath stuttering as his fingers reached for the side zip of the dress.

Phoenix slid it down excruciatingly slowly. His lips echoed the path of his fingers as each tug of the zipper revealed more of her heated skin to his perusal. Unzipped, he glided his hands back up her arms to the straps of the dress, and just as slowly, peeled them off her shoulders. Done, he tugged the dress down until it pooled at her feet.

“Step out,” he whispered hoarsely into her ear.

Pulse racing, she lifted her heels and stepped out, the movement making her realize how embarrassingly wet she already was.

Once the dress was undone, as he trailed it over her shoulders and down her arms, his mouth and tongue feasted at the shadowy valley between her breasts, licking and nipping at the exposed inner curve of flesh. Dropping her head back, she moaned and arched, threading her fingers through his silky midnight hair, enchanted by the sensations of his roving, seductive mouth.

After dropping her dress to the floor, he moved upward to feather kisses along the angle of her collarbone to the frantic pulse beating at the hollow of her throat. When his fingertips ghosted down along her ribs, across her stomach, she inhaled sharply as simmering heat flared in her abdomen. Sparks travelled throughout her body.

That was as far as she was going to allow him to lead because suddenly he found his back against the living room wall and her hands were tearing at his shirt.

She needed more. Oh, God, so much more. Reaching up, she yanked off his t-shirt. The light cotton material beneath her fingers felt cool to the touch, so unlike the heat of his skin revealed beneath. God, he was beautiful. Tanned, smooth skin, stretched over steel tight muscle, the deep bronze and molten gold richness of precious, potent metal.

She drifted her hands over his defined chest, down the six-pack of sculpted abs. Moulded perfection, the muscles flexing beneath her roving fingers. Placing both hands flat over his pecs, then tweaking and kneading the taut brown nipples, she raised her gaze upward, marvelling at how perfect a specimen of manhood he was, drowning in the joy of touching him.

Suddenly, she reached out and grabbed him by the shoulders, and planted a searing kiss on his lips.

There was no hope for him. He reached out to pull her closer. Her taste drugged him and he felt his arousal mounting.

“Enough foreplay and talk, Phoenix. I want you to fuck hard, and I don’t want to wait for another second,” she growled into his ear.

Well, damn, who was he to turn down a lady? He reached for her, but she shoved his hands away and her own pressed against his naked chest, her nails digging into his flesh and he hissed at the painful pleasure.

“This is the way it is done, Phoenix.” Her hands were at the waistband of his joggers, yanking them down with his underwear in one rapid motion. And then he thought he’d died and gone to heaven as her hand wrapped around his throbbing cock. Pre-cum oozed from the slit and she smeared it across his tip.

He hadn’t wanted it to be this way. He had wanted to take his time with her. She was as beautiful as any fine painting hanging on the walls of the museum and she deserved to be worshipped properly. But she was apparently having none of it. And for now, he planned to let her have her way.

Swiftly rising to her feet, she shed her panties. Then, without releasing his gaze, she slowly sank to her knees, one thought in her mind. Licking her lips, she lowered her head.

He was hers and she planned to use him fully. Her hands gripped him, sliding up and down his length. She dropped to her knees and consumed him with her mouth, dancing across the surface of his skin, relishing the flavour of him. So very different from the others. He was a pure masculine fire in her mouth. Although he allowed her to do as she wished, she knew at any moment he could try to take control. But she wanted him like none of the others through the ages.

She skipped her tongue over his rigid staff, swirled it over the full, mushroomed tip, sliding beneath the cap, playing him like a fine instrument, sipping at him like a rare wine. She wanted to savour him slowly, remember the taste and smell that waltzed through her, but she needed him inside her now. His fingers were tangled in her hair as he gripped her. She felt his desire rising fast and furious, his energy blending with her own. There was no time to take it slowly as her pussy dripped with her juices, pulsed with her desire. She couldn’t wait.

“Dee, you’ve got to stop!” He groaned, yanking her back up to her feet. “If you don’t, I’m going to blow my load right into that sexy mouth of yours, and I don’t want that. Because when I do cum, I want it to be inside you.”

Dee gazed at him with half-closed eyes, then gave a jerky puppet’s nod as she belatedly remembered her balcony challenge. She moved over to the sliding glass doors and beckoned over to him with her finger to join her out there, a coy smile on her lips.

Fully naked and erect, he shamelessly stepped outside and pulled her bare form into his arms, running his hands over her ass, cupping and squeezing her fullness.

“I’m going to fuck you on this balcony, so hard you’ll feel it in your bones.” He slowly breathed her in, nudging her with his nose.

Sweet heaven, the sexy ex-attorney was a dirty talker.

Dee shivered as Phoenix continued to caress her, his fingers sliding down the crease of her backside and entering her from behind.

“Phoenix.” She moaned, arching back into him as he pulled his fingers out and then slid them back in.

He withdrew only to clasp her by the hips and press her back against him, his erection digging into her backside since she still had on the heels. “That’s all it takes to make me hard,” he told her softly, his lips brushing her ear. “You: saying my name.”

Her chest tightened and she didn’t know how to reply. She didn’t want to talk. She just wanted to feel.

With an arm around her waist, he brought her into his body, the bare skin of her stomach touching his torso, her naked legs brushing his, her breasts pressed to his naked skin.

Phoenix’s breath huffed against her throat and then his mouth was pressing there, his tongue flicking softly against her skin as he trailed hot kisses down, down, until he hit the rise of her breasts.

The cold night air blew over her breasts, her nipple tight and begging for his mouth. His lips closed around her and she jerked her hips into his, his hard cock digging into her. “Phoenix, please,” she begged, her back arched against his mouth. Her hand brushed down his chest, smoothing over his hot, hard skin, to cup him in her palm.

His breath faltered and he pulled back, his hips leaning into her touch as he rubbed himself against her hand. His eyes closed briefly before flashing back open with fire in them. “I can’t wait.”

She nodded, her belly squeezing with anticipation, her core absolutely drenched with it. Phoenix’s large hands took a moment to cup her full breast, gently squeezing and fondling. She felt him grow even harder against her.

That’s when his slow, torturous control snapped. She then was spun around, bent over slightly, and was pushed flat and none-too-gently into the cool glass balcony so her bared breasts were pressed against it, his front at her back.

Her breath was coming out in frantic puffs now as she gripped onto the edge of the glass. Phoenix’s hands came around to squeeze her breasts, forcing her body back into his as his tongue flicked her ear.

“This is what you wanted, so this is how I’m going to fuck you. It’s going to be hard, Dee, hard and rough. You ready?”

She nodded, her heart sputtering a little, his rough words sending a bolt of pure lust through her sex.

He slid a finger inside her.

“Christ…” he murmured smugly, “You’re soaked.”

She made a guttural ‘get on with it’ sound and he chuckled in response an instant before he slammed his full length inside her. He had to bend his knees to penetrate her because even in three-inch heels, she wasn’t tall enough to accommodate his height. She cried out in ecstasy at how deeply he filled her, her back bowing, but Phoenix gave her no time for a reprieve.

He slid out a couple of inches and thrust back inside, the glass balcony solid beneath her weight as she relaxed into it. His fingers dug into her hips as he pounded into her from behind, groaning as she pushed back into him in perfect, but rough, rhythm. Her panting got louder, spurring him on and he reached up to pinch her nipples as his hips continued to jerk against her. He caressed her buttocks and belly as he thrust into her slowly and rhythmically. She rocked back against him, loving the way his balls slapped against her with each steady stroke.

“Phoenix!” Dee screamed, an orgasm to beat all others exploding through her, her sex squeezing and pulsing around his cock as he continued to ride her toward his own climax. He leaned forward to squeeze her breasts and pinch her nipples, as he altered his deep thrusts for quick shallow strokes. That was the trigger.

As he had yet to come, she knew he had to be dying, yet he’d still considered her pleasure first, building her back to the pinnacle methodically.

It was time for her to regain control like she was used to.

She bent forward slightly, changing the point of friction between their bodies.

He groaned. She rotated her hips, and bent further still, squeezing his cock tightly within her body.

“Dee, that feels…”

“…amazing.”

“Yeah.” His breathing became sporadic as his thrusts quickened.

That’s better. Lose yourself. She bent further. Squeezed harder. Relaxed. Squeezed.

“Uhn. Uhn.” He punctuated each thrust with groans and gasps.

Come hard, Phoenix. She clenched her vaginal muscles even tighter to increase his stimulation. Think of nothing but me. She slowly straightened her back, changing their point of friction again. When she stood completely upright, she slowly bent forward again.

His strokes became rapid and shallow, his breathing chaotic, his groans low and primal. His hands gripped her hipbones, trying to hold her still as he continued to pound into her. Faster. Faster. Harder. Oh, yes. He thrust deep and then paused. He took several deep breaths and then began to move more slowly. Deeper. Gyrating to increase her pleasure.

She smirked. There was nothing better than a lover who held back for as long as possible. She put her hands on her knees and rotated her hips to the left and then to the right, grinding him inside her. And there was nothing more fun than trying to make him come.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” he shouted. “Oh God, Dee. Dee…”

She rotated her hips to the left again. With a primal growl, he grabbed her hair and pulled her upright. He lunged forward and pressed her body against the balcony, thrusting into her vigorously, repeating incoherent words into her ear.

His groans grew louder and louder as he gave himself over to pleasure, shuddering violently as he let go inside her at last and climaxing with a deep groan, his mouth on her shoulder, his hands gripping her hips even tighter to his as he rocked up into her, shuddering as he came.

With one final deep thrust, he cried out, “Dee. Oh, God. Oh God, yes!”

She felt him shudder violently behind her and regretted that she couldn’t see his face. He grasped her hips and held her still, grinding deeply until his spasms calmed. His body sagged against hers, crushing her into the cool glass. She allowed him to catch his breath for several minutes

After a while, he slipped out of her carefully, eyes closed, breathing hard. “That was fantastic.”

Her limbs were no longer working. Her loins were still throbbing, but tender. He hadn’t taken it easy on her. The only thing holding her up was Phoenix.

As if he sensed that, he held her tight. “Are you okay?”

No. she was freaking awesome.

“That was amazing,” she breathed, falling back against him.

He chuckled knowingly against her.

“Consider that my thanks for proving it still works.”

The Next Morning…

Dee Vasquez’s Bedroom – April 15, 2026

The thoughts are accelerating inside my head. I want them to slow so I can breathe but they won’t. My breaths come in gasps and I feel like I will blackout. My heart is hammering inside my chest as if it belongs to a rabbit running for its skin. The room spins and I squat on the floor, trying to make everything slow to something my brain and body can cope with. I feel so sick. What do I do?!

“9-1-1. Please state the nature of your emergency.”

“Oh my God! Help us, please!” Phoenix felt the panic begin like a cluster of spark plugs in his abdomen. Tension grew in his face and limbs, his mind replaying the horrific moment from just minutes ago. His breathing became more rapid and more shallow as he clutched the phone to his ear. “There’s blood everywhere! I think she’s dead!”