144 Hit Me With Your Best Shot

I’m getting married
Dressed in white,
And at the church
I want to reserve a seat

So you can attend
As my guest,
And right by your side,
You see me go by.

You will realize
This little woman,
Is full of bliss
On her way to the altar,

To the hand of a man
Who gives me his name,
You denied it to me,
You will regret it.

When time goes by,
When you remember me,
When at night
You feel alone.

You will sob silently,
You will sob internally,
Keeping appearances,
Wanting to hide.

And, it will be too late,
There will be no return,
This same night
You will have lost me.

I’m getting married
Dressed in white,
It will hurt you so,
And you will repent.

Phoenix Wright
Wright Talent Agency
June 14, 2026, 5:55 PM

Clad only in a towel wrapped around his waist, the still slightly damp Phoenix studied his wardrobe critically, having told Ema to make herself a cup of coffee while he took a quick shower and shaved, as his disheveled, unshaven state had not been fit for going out dumpster diving, never mind an impromptu dinner out with a pretty detective.

Even still, as he scrutinized his scant, rather sorry-looking collection of clothes inside, he hoped Ema opted for a place with dim lighting, so as not to draw too much attention to his hobo self!

With a wistful sigh, he noted the now estranged, but still familiar suit buried in the back. Briefly, he contemplated dusting it off and trying it on to see if it still fit over his frame, which had grown substantially more muscle over the years, since he’d last worn it.

But even if it did fit, he probably wouldn’t want to wear it anymore. He rather liked the obscurity his joggers and beanie gave him – it better suited his desire to be unnoticeable, anonymous. In that blue suit, he’d be too recognizable. In his bum gear, it was easier to bury the man he’d been beneath the all-too-real charade of what he was becoming.

He shoved the suit to the far corner of the closet and tried to stop torturing himself by remembering how dapper it used to look with his shiny badge, bright gold, like the sun, on the lapel.

His hand moved slowly, drawing all his other clothes away from the suit, but not quite touching it, as though the fabric could scorch his flesh, which was ridiculous but he couldn’t stop the instinctive reaction any more than he could make his hands stop shaking, or tear his eyes away from the outfit that Ema had probably anticipated when she’d unexpectedly dropped in on him.

Or maybe she hadn’t expected it. There hadn’t been any shock or disappointment when he’d answered his door, a husk of the man he’d once been. No, there had been nothing but joy and affection on that lovely visage of hers – the one that he’d so feared would remind him too much of Maya if he were to see it again, which was why he’d shamelessly been disregarding her calls until then …

Maya. Getting married the day after tomorrow and starting a new life. Putting the final nail in the Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey coffin forever.

The aching pang in his heart was still as fresh as if the torment had been yesterday.

Jesus Christ. It still hurts so damn much! It’s been more than a year since I had to give up the love of my life. The loss of my badge didn’t gut me as much as losing her! When will it ever stop? When will time finally dull it all down to a more manageable, comfortably numb state?

“Damn it, Phoenix!” He gave his head a firm shake, allowing the old, familiar surge of white-hot anger to course through his veins in an effort to thwart the self-pity. “Enough with the pathetic melancholy and sorrow! Get a grip and pull yourself together!”

Even if I’ve lost Maya, Edgeworth and I still managed to talk in great detail about revamping the courts to make way for the jurist system- he’s going to use his influential connections to see what he can do to make it a reality. Assuming, of course, I didn’t screw things up beyond all repair with him last month! I can only pray he’s not still too pissed at me to want to help my sorry behind out anymore! But I can’t let myself think so dismally – I have made some progress! I’ve at least managed to get that sonofabitch, Gavin, behind bars, maybe not for all the crimes he’s committed, but at least he shouldn’t be able to commit more. And I’m going to meet a friend, one who despite my shunning for the past couple of months, still hasn’t given up on me, which is more than I probably deserve! So I just need to pick a damn outfit and haul ass!

Sheer curiosity and an overwhelming sense of nostalgia overcame him, prompting the DILF to try and fit his broad shoulders into the old suit jacket, only to find he could no longer even get it beyond his muscled forearms without the threat of splitting the garment in two. And forget the pants! Just stretching the fabric over his athletically built thighs, he could see trying to squeeze into them would only make the trousers burst at the seams, in a manner not unlike The Incredible Hulk.

Who was he kidding anyway?

Just because done had her kittens in the oven, it still don’t make them biscuits! He moaned inwardly at his train of thoughts as he realized the Southern Belle Tiffany’s musings appeared to have rubbed off on him in the past seven years he’d been working alongside her.

Translation: even if the suit had fit, and he’d looked the part of the lawyer he’d once been, it still wouldn’t change the harsh reality that much like a child playing dress-up, he’d only be feigning the role, because Phoenix wasn’t an Ace Attorney anymore, and he’d be fooling no one, least of all, himself.

It was probably for the best if he just wore his regular bum gear and his beanie, which proudly sported the pin Ema had once given him, so she’d know that even though he’d been out of touch for a spell, she’d still been dear to him. After all, the hobo gear was as much a part of his new look as the rest was, after all—proof to himself and everyone else that he hadn’t completely forgotten or abandoned where he came from, though it seemed sometimes best to pretend as though he had.

OK, he really had to quit thinking such elegiac thoughts and not be a complete downer on what was supposed to be a happy reunion! He adored Ema – in many ways, she reminded him of Maya. In spite of the differences in their spiritual versus scientific beliefs, the two delightfully eccentric women could easily be described as nefelibata; one who lived in the clouds of their imagination and dreams, and did not obey the conventions of society. Although similar but separate, both had such a refreshing outlook on life, which could only be cathartic to his own world-weary, stale ones.

A night out with Ema Skye is most definitely what my morose, miserable arse needs! He acknowledged. Tonight will undoubtedly be gezellig; just a relaxing, enjoyable evening of togetherness with a dear friend after way too long of a separation!

Grabbing his meager wallet, Phoenix hurriedly dressed and ran a comb through his wet hair as he dashed out the door to meet up with his surprise dinner date, an expectant, content smile on his lips.

Phoenix Wright and Ema Skye
Salchichas Sabrosas Restaurante, LA
June 14, 2016, 6:15 PM

Ema had known before arriving that night her old friend was no longer a lawyer. Had mentally prepared herself for the fact that he might look different after nearly a decade. But even though half an hour had passed since she’d first laid eyes on him seven years later, it was still a shock to her system to see this new Phoenix.

She knew what he had lost. It wasn’t just a badge — it was an identity.

The Detective barely recognized this man before her, with the slumped-over posture and hobo garb, consisting of joggers and a sweatshirt that seemed to need a good wash. Or perhaps it’d already seen too many washes, the colors muted, the fabric having taken on the fuzzy, comfortably worn-in look of constant wear.

But it was more than the clothes that made the man, it was what lay below the surface which aggrieved her beyond words. Phoenix barely bore a trace of the courtroom champion he’d previously been known; was now more somber, less smiling, and more … contemplative.

Beneath that pokerface, there was shadowed lassitude in those midnight blue eyes, like the depths of oceans beholding dark secrets no one dared venture into. His formerly upright shoulders were now slouched, as if in perpetual burden. His hands were always hidden from sight and buried in the pockets of his sweatshirt, as though reluctant to be seen if he could no longer use them for finger-pointing and courtroom desk slapping.

Once they were seated, Ema continued to marvel at her companion sitting across the table; the Ace Attorney in the blue suit she’d once known was a far cry from the scruffy-looking man now scrutinizing the menu items with a furrowed brow, obviously mulling over the prices of the admittedly semi-upscale Mexican restaurant she’d chosen for their dining venue that night.

Finances for him were obviously strained and the detective felt a stab of guilt as she realized the unnecessary concern she saw in that weary visage about how he could manage to pay for that night’s bill. She’d have mentioned dinner would gladly be on her – had it not been for the fact that she was still distracted by the drastic changes in her friend since she’d seen him last.

Occasionally, a lazy grin would flash across his features as he listened to something amusing she’d said, but the shuttered expression never left his countenance. And when she gazed at him again and he caught her staring, he turned into a different person, managing to fake a smile that concealed the pain buried deep inside his heart. Yet those dark orbs remained unreadable and hardened, like nothing in this world could soften them.

It made her heart weep for her dear friend, yet Ema knew there was nothing she could say; no magic wand she could wave to right the wrong that had been done to him, to take away that barely suppressed, doleful look in his eyes.

That notwithstanding, it wasn’t as if Phoenix looked unhealthy, or even bad per se – in fact, not even the bulky sweats could hide the muscular physique hidden beneath them, and he looked more tanned than she last recalled. Also, with the cap covering his famous – albeit, distracting spikes, she could now focus on that handsome, familiar mien more clearly.

Now that he’d shaved away the stubble that’d been covering the still youthful face beneath, she could now see traces of the vibrant, attractive man she’d once known – just minus the effervescent energy, she’d always associated with Phoenix Wright. It appeared to have been dulled by time, into a more surface calm veneer – not that it made him any less enjoyable company.

The realization relaxed her somewhat, and she beamed. Sure, Phoenix had changed, but they were out for a friendly, long overdue, catch-up dinner, not out solving crimes, and if you couldn’t wear comfortable clothes to a meal with old friends, where could you wear them?

“It’s nice to see you smiling again,” he noted, glancing at her over the top of his menu. “I will take that to mean that the stupor of my initial appearance has finally worn off?”

Ema smiled at him sheepishly. There was something about him that made her feel like a teenager over again – perhaps compounded by the fact that on the surface level, Phoenix didn’t appear to have aged much at all!

She couldn’t help but note the slight hint of unease in the question and his overall discomfited disposition, as though he’d already resigned himself to the fact that she, like everyone else, believed the nasty rumors about him.

Silly man! There’s not a chance in hell I’d believe any of that crap! Initially, before he shaved, that stubble was a tad disorienting, but there was no forgetting that distinctly spiky hair and those compassionate eyes that’d looked into mine as a young girl, assuring me I could trust him and that everything was going to be OK. This is the formidable opponent who exposed Manfred von Karma, who fought to declare his own client guilty after finding out he had hired an assassin. Phoenix Wright was the hero responsible for saving me and my sister. If not for him and Prosecutor Edgeworth, Lana would be dead for a crime she didn’t commit and I would have spent the last years even more alone than I’d already been. He’s still that same, great man underneath it all – the one I believed in then, and who I’ll never stop believing in, even now.

“I’m getting used to it, but I think I kind of dig the scruffy but sexy vibe you’re rocking, Mr. Wright!” She grinned impishly and popped a salsa-laden tortilla chip into her mouth from the platter that had been placed before them. “It’s getting accustomed to my new, never wanted, flatfoot career that I still can’t claim I’m fully behind just yet!”

He laughed at her quip, a surprised, pleased sound, and his smile seemed to touch his eyes for the first time.

“Detective Ema Skye – the gumshoe route being your consolation prize for not passing the forensics test.”

“My consolation was supposed to be getting to work regularly with Prosecutor Edgeworth!” She griped, popping another tortilla into her mouth. “Unfortunately, when I first got back to town, I was told he was still overseas, and now that he’s back, I’ve only seen him once or twice!”

The topic of the prosecutor caused Phoenix’s face, for the briefest of moments, to become devoid of all expression. Then he smiled again, that enigmatic one which may or may not have indicated legitimate pleasure, and briskly changed the subject.

“Hey, whether this was your first career choice or not, being a homicide Detective still better pays than the pianist racket, I’d assume?”

“Just barely.” She grimaced. “This place, while nice, isn’t too steep though, and was highly y recommended in reviews. It was personally suggested to me by Prosecutor Edgeworth. I told him it’d been hard to find great Mexican cuisine in Europe, so he recommended this place to me, and mentioned he’d been here for lunch last month.”

“Did he?” Phoenix asked nonchalantly. “That’s … nice.”

“Yes, but he didn’t say with whom. I told him I was trying to hunt you down, and perhaps grab a bite out to eat with you. Upon hearing your name, however, for some strange reason, he abruptly pulled an about-face and muttered something about prepping himself for the arrival of some undercover Interpol agent arriving next month. Basically, he dismissed me.” She peered searchingly into the pianist’s suddenly downcast face. “Did something go awry with you two? Or was his sudden turnabout merely a coincidence?”

“Oh, you know Edgeworth,” Phoenix forced a smile. “Always a workaholic… Mr. Strong But Silent type, you know? He’s never really been a man of too many words…”

“It was just so weird, how he ceased being his usual well-mannered and articulate self the moment I mentioned you! He just started mumbling something incoherent and it left me completely confused, considering you two are supposed to be best friends and I would’ve assumed if you’d been in touch with anybody all this time, it would’ve been him?”

Before Phoenix could come up with a convincing lie to reassure Ema that her perception of Edgeworth’s apparent, and very genuine displeasure at the mention of his name had been all in her imagination, at that exact moment, the mariachi band, which had been set up in the corner, suddenly began to play.

The fib died in mid-formation on his lips, and the present scene immediately faded away in a haze as vivid memories ran through his mind of exactly whom prosecutor Miles Edgeworth had dined with, at this very establishment, in the previous month …

Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth 
Salchichas Sabrosas Restaurante, LA
May 1, 2026, 12:30 PM

“This is a really nice place,” Phoenix remarked as he speared a bite of enchilada onto his fork. “I’ve never been here before, even though it’s only a ten-minute walk from my place. The food here is great, although I’m gonna be honest, the name kind of threw me off at first.”

“How so?” Edgeworth raised an inquisitive brow as he took a bite of his corn and chorizo-stuffed Poblanos, covered with green Chile-cheese sauce. “I’d informed you it meant tasty sausages.”

“I know you kindly translated the name of the restaurant for my strictly Anglophone self.” Phoenix awkwardly scratched the back of his head. “But for a brief, horrifying moment… it sounded like you were taking me to a gay bar!”

Edgeworth nearly choked on his food and took a long swig of water before staring at his friend in utter dubiousness. His glass was immediately refilled by the overly eager young busboy who’d been lingering around their table. He’d recognized the two famous Ace Attorneys from the media and had been all but fawning and fanboying over the both of them, either oblivious or uncaring of the fact Phoenix was no longer in ownership of his badge.

“Wright, you ignorant fool!” The prosecutor glowered at the blushing poker champion. “This restaurant is aptly named due to the pride they take in their specialty chorizo dishes! What in heaven’s name would make you think I would even think of taking you to such a place – and on my work lunch break yet?!”

“I don’t know!” Phoenix shrugged haplessly. “I figured you and I had finally reached such a low point in our love lives that maybe…”

“You assumed our shared heartbreak was going to make me be the one to lead us astray from the path of heterosexuality?” Edgeworth’s arms were crossed over his chest, irate forefinger already tapping against his arm in obvious displeasure. “Wright, if I didn’t know that you had been out of touch with him for some time now, I would assume the buffoonery of Larry Butz had rubbed off on you!”

“Please don’t be mad at me!” Phoenix pleaded. “I’m sorry, OK? I don’t know what I was thinking – I’m going to blame sleep depravity and having the world’s grouchiest, grounded teenage daughter to contend with immediately after the whole trial fiasco! It’s bad enough Truce thinks I’m a monster for revoking her Skype privileges, on top of not being allowed to go anywhere but school and work for another week because of that stunt she pulled!”

“I guess she had to come home and face the music eventually?”

“She managed to avoid coming home for two whole nights before I was able to punish her!  By pulling the plug on her internet use, it put me in the official Meanie Daddy League! That took me a few additional days, post grounding, to finally figure out, and only after unwittingly unplugging every other device in the house is attempting to do so! Anyway, I’ve also hereby been dubbed a murderer of true love, because I’ve put the kybosh on her newly budding relationship.”

Phoenix heaved a long-suffering sigh.

“Apparently, up until then, she’d been non-stop messaging some Down Under tour guide named Dylan, whom Pearls decided to introduce her to…”

“Trucy is having an online romance with some random bloke, on the other side of the world?” The barrister’s annoyance immediately halted as he instantly morphed into Protective Uncle Mode. “Give me his last name and I’ll run a criminal and background search on him, posthaste!”

“Dylan Sian or something, I think.” The pianist chuckled appreciatively. “It was bad enough Trucy didn’t remember Klavier or his part in what became my final fateful court case all those years ago and then, to my great chagrin, since became a die-hard Gavinners fan girl! But at least the rock star crush was a teenage pipe dream! This kid is her age, so it wouldn’t be a case of jail bait!”

Edgeworth couldn’t help but smirk as the frustrated Phoenix groaned loudly before continuing his trials of fatherhood.

“And after talking to this guy, my daughter, walks around speaking in this crazy Australian accent that refuses to shake off for at least the next few hours…It’s every dad’s worst nightmare come true! I suppose I should thank my lucky stars he’s on the other side of the planet… but still!”

“It could be worse,” Edgeworth offered, not knowing what else to say to offer comfort in this unfamiliar scenario. “The lad could be local and she could be actually trying to sneak out for illicit rendezvous with him against your wishes, instead of just trying to have secret online chatter with him.”

“It could always be worse!” The ex-attorney buried his head in his hands. “Every time I think that I’ve reached the end of my rope, I find there’s always something around the corner that is most definitely and plausibly worse!”

The spiky-haired man dragged a hand down his weathered face.

“Anyway, I know you have a lot on your mind as well, Edgeworth, but please cut me some slack! I don’t need to have another friend who thinks I stink! As it is right now, on the topic of our artist friend, he is currently most aggravated with me and has only just now finally ceased leaving me nasty messages telling me what a negligent and heartless boyfriend he thinks I am for not calling or visiting Iris more often! So first Larry was mad at me for allegedly sucking, and has since stopped calling me altogether. Now he’s probably mad at me for not caring enough to return his calls!”

“Butz still doesn’t know the truth about you and Iris, does he?” The prosecutor frowned.

“No. To be fair, he did call and ask me repeatedly if I minded him being up there and attending Maya’s wedding. I’ve been dodging his calls, as well as any from Gumshoe because I just can’t stand hearing about my ex’s nuptials anymore! I just want to bury my head in the sand and just have it be over with so I can get on with my miserable life! Besides, who am I to dictate what anyone does about anything? What right do I have to make such demands of anybody?”

“I think you’re being far too lenient in that particular regard, Wright.” The DA waved his finger. “I didn’t want to bring this up last week at dinner because Trucy was with us…”

“I appreciate how you’ve been indulging my daughter, as well as myself, with your meal generosity. I know she’s grounded, but a growing girl still has to eat, right?” Phoenix flashed a shit-eating grin. “And what kind of monster would I be to keep her from her Uncle Miles?”

“I’m very fond of the young lady myself, don’t even mention it.” There was a look of disapproval in the suddenly stern grey eyes. “However, your suddenly rebellious teenage daughter isn’t the point I wish to address at the moment, Wright. With regards to the whole Butz situation, I don’t understand why you haven’t taken the bull by the horns and told him how unseemly it is for him to be attending your ex-girlfriend’s wedding, never mind being in such proximity to your other ex-girlfriend – whom he thinks is your current one! I rang and informed him how inappropriate I found his actions.”

“You had a conversation with Larry about this?” Phoenix’s eyes widened incredulously. “And you took it upon yourself to give him your firm, Miles Edgeworth, personalized stamp of disapproval?”

“I’m not quite sure if your tone means you are displeased with my addressing the situation, or with the fact that you are indeed unhappy with Larry being at Maya’s wedding, yet are far too passive to say so.”

Phoenix stared at him in disbelief.

“This is less about me being passive, and more about me not trying to play God with everybody’s lives, Edgeworth!” He exclaimed. “Of course, I’m not happy about the situation, but I do understand! Maya is his friend as well, and I know Larry isn’t purposely trying to be a disloyal friend by attending her nuptials, any more than he is trying to be traitorous by offering his helpful assistance to Iris and Sister Bikini with the preparations!”

“I suppose we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one.” The grey eyes were cold. “I believe loyalty should come before being a Good Samaritan in certain matters. I know that I would not be on board should either of you decide to attend Franziska’s nuptials to another man, in light of everything that’s transpired between her and me.”

“Look, I know your loyalty to me is why you chose not to go to Maya’s wedding, and I do appreciate it, but you can’t be all sanctimonious and judgmental to everybody who doesn’t act the way you do!” Phoenix argued. “That’s neither right nor fair!”

“Life isn’t fair or right!” The prosecutor snapped, his normally calm voice raising an octave. “I don’t need to hear that reminder from you! I am damn well aware enough of that myself!”

Before Phoenix could reply, the mariachi band began to sing a beautiful Latin ballad.

Querida, 
Cada momento de mi vida 
Yo pienso en ti más cada día 
Mira mi soledad 
Mira mi soledad 
Que no me sienta nada bien 
Oh ven ya

Edgeworth’s jaw hardened, and Phoenix instinctively sensed it was due to more than just the present conversation they were having. Of course, barely speaking a lick of Spanish, he had no idea what the words meant, but they appeared to have struck a chord in the other man, as his formally cold eyes were now icy twin flints.

“The song is called Querida by Juan Gabriel,” the chess lover said tightly in response to his chum’s unasked question. “It means dear one.”

“It’s a heartbreaking love song,” announced the hovering busboy, swooping in, from completely out of nowhere, at their table once again. A helpful smile lit up his face as he brushed his shaggy brown hair off his forehead. “I’d be delighted to translate the lyrics for you so you can understand them, Mr. Wright.”

“Oh…” Phoenix was taken aback by the unexpected offer, and uncertain of how to respond, but figured it wouldn’t hurt to know what was causing his best friend to go from looking peeved to downright pained suddenly. “Er, sure, thanks… young man?”

“My name is Jesse, Mr. Wright. It’s so amazing to meet a legal legend like you in person! I’m such a fan of yours!”

“Um, thanks Jesse,” he responded awkwardly. “Although you do realize I’m no longer an attorney, don’t you?”

“Oh please! I never believed that mierda the media was saying about you!” Jesse scoffed, his dark eyes sparkling with admiration. “You have no idea what a thrill and honor it is to have you and The Miles Edgeworth here in our humble establishment!”

Phoenix smiled politely and mumbled his thanks, while Edgeworth appeared most unamused by the interruption and began drumming his fingers on the table in a grumpy manner.

Smiling eagerly, the undaunted staff member began his unprecedented translation of the first verse.

Dear one,
Every moment of my life,
I think of you every day
Look at my loneliness,
Look at my loneliness,
It doesn’t suit me at all,
ohh come back now.

“I seeeee….” The poker champ felt his heart sink as the slate-haired man glared at both him and the restaurant employee, now fully grasping how the poignancy of such lyrics could be disturbing to his recently brokenhearted friend. “Erm…”

Not giving him a chance to refuse, Jesse quickly interpreted as the song went on, making Phoenix’s own heart be pierced right alongside Edgeworth’s, as the verses struck particularly close to home for him, as well.

Querida,
No me ha sanado bien la herida
Te extraño y lloro todavía
Mira mi soledad
Mira mi soledad
Que no me sienta nada bien
Oh ven ya

Dear one,
my wound has not healed yet
I miss you and still cry for you
Look at my loneliness
Look at my loneliness
it doesn’t suit me at all, oh come back now

Querida,
Piensa en mi solo un momento y ven
Te da cuenta de que el tiempo es cruel
Y lo he pasado yo sin ti
Oh ven ya, ah ah

Dear one,
think of me just for a moment and come
realize how cruel is time
and I have passed it without you…oh, come now…ah, ah

Querida,
Hazlo por quien más quieras tú
Yo quiero ver de nuevo luz
En toda mi casa

Dear one,
do it for whoever you love the most
I want to see the light again
in my whole house

Oh oh querida,
Ven a mi que estoy sufriendo
Ven a mi que estoy muriendo
En esta soledad
En esta soledad
Que no me sienta nada bien
Ven

Oh, Oh dear one,
come to me, I’m suffering
come to me, I’m dying
in this loneliness
in this loneliness
that doesn’t suit me at all…come

Querida,
Por lo que quieras tu más ven
Más compasión de mi tu ten
Mira mi soledad
Mira mi soledad
Que no me sienta nada bien

Dear one,
for whatever you love the most, come!
have more compassion of me
look at my loneliness
look at my loneliness
it doesn’t suit me at all

Querida, 
Querida, 
Dime cuando tú 
Dime cuando tú 
Dime cuando tú vas a volver allá 
Dime cuando tú 
Dime cuando tú 
Dime cuando tú vas a volver

Dear one
Dear one
Tell me when
Tell me when
are you coming back, yeah
Tell me when
tell me when
Tell me when you’re coming back

Querida
Querida,
Dime cuando tú
Dime cuando tú
Dime cuando tú vas a volver allá
Dime cuando tú
Dime cuando tú
Dime cuando tú vas a volver

Dear one…
Dear one,
Tell me when
tell me when
are you coming back, yeah
Tell me when
Tell me when
tell me when you’re coming back

Allá, allá tú
Ven a mi soledad, tú
Yo no puedo ni me quiero olvidar, ah ooh
Dime cuando tú, hey tú
Dime cuando tú, hey tú

Come to my solitude
I can’t and I don’t want to forget,
hey you, tell me when
hey you, tell me when
Tell me when you’re coming back

There was a loud round of applause from the other patrons in the restaurant when the song was over, and Phoenix was at a loss for words as Jesse smiled at him hopefully, and rather than leave, continued to remain by the tableside.

“It sounds much more powerful in Spanish,” he told the forlorn former defense attorney, who was still digesting the gut-wrenching lyrics he’d just been forced to endure. “I hope I helped somewhat.”

Sure you did! The beanie wearer wretchedly despaired. Ignorance could have been bliss, but since you insisted I understand the music that was being performed, I’m now officially as miserable and depressed as Edgeworth is! And if you’re thinking that you’re gonna get a tip for adding to that misery kid, you are sadly mistaken!

“Well, if there’s nothing else I can do for you folks,” Jesse continued awkwardly, finally taking note of the tight-lipped glare he was receiving from the prosecutor. “I guess I’ll be going now…”

“Just the bill please,” Edgeworth answered tersely. “And that will be all, por favor y gracias.”

As Jesse left, the prosecutor gestured at his dining companion’s only half-finished plate, which was identical to his own barely partially completed remains.

“It appears I am not the only one who lost my appetite.”

“I guess you could say that,” the pianist replied uncomfortably. “I’d hate to waste such good food though … Do you think this place does doggie bags?”

“You can’t be serious?” The chess lover eyed him in disgust. “This is an upscale establishment, so that would be most uncouth! Must you act the part of the hobo bum you resemble?”

“Well, that was a low blow!” Phoenix slammed his hands on the table, courtroom-style, and glowered right back. “Sorry if I don’t have a whole lot of dispensable income to just throw down the drain, what with being a single father on a shoestring budget! I understand how that song may have been depressing, but it wasn’t exactly easy for me to listen to either! You’re not the only one dealing with heartache and loss, Edgeworth! Nor does it give you a free pass to act like a pompous, snooty … ass hat!”

“This isn’t just about the bloody song!” Edgeworth snapped, slamming his own hands down on the table. “This is about my best friend acting like a complete doormat, and appearing to think that I’m the bad guy and the one at fault for trying to show him my alliance regarding his ex’s wedding! And forgive me for not being in the highest spirits when my battered heart was just raked over the coals, as I was coerced into listening to possibly the most tragic love song on earth, which, rest assured, sounds much more sorrowful in Spanish and has just made me decide that I abhor this place!”

“Whether I speak the language or not, that song rubbed my heart raw, too you know! And as for this suddenly detestable restaurant, need I remind you that you’re the one who picked it?!”

“You fool! That’s beside the point, which, as usual, you seemed to have missed entirely!”

“Oh, I  get your point! And this isn’t about me being ungrateful for your loyalty, Edgeworth! It’s about the fact that you always act like a bully whenever people don’t see things your way!”

“Why must you be so lackadaisical about everything?” The logic genius was gripping the corners of the table so hard now, his knuckles were white, as along with his newly awakened torment, his repressed guilt about keeping silent with regards to Maya’s outburst to Gumshoe began rearing its ugly head. “You used to be a fighter, Phoenix Wright! You were never afraid to take a chance no matter how slim the odds! You used to take on cases that appeared you had no chance in hell of winning! What happened to you?”

“Life happened to me!” The card shark shouted, uncaring that all eyes in the restaurant were now on the two men. “I’m every bit as much of a victim of life’s cruel unjustness as you are and I’m no longer willing to be a gambling man with my life anymore!”

“How can you be so accepting of how things are going? Your good friends are attending the nuptials of your former lover, whom you still love desperately! And now that the threat which caused you to end things with her is safely behind bars, you are still going to just sit back and allow this wedding to happen, rather than run after her and fight for her, taking even the slightest of chances that she might still love you back!”

It was the closest he could get to encouraging Phoenix to get off his kiester without giving him false hope about Maya’s perceived reaction. As frustrated and angry as the prosecutor was, he was fervently hoping that his harsh words would spurn his best friend into action, but instead, Phoenix now looked even more irate.

“I’m trying to do the right thing and not interfere with Maya’s new life, Edgeworth! There’s no evidence that she has not completely moved on with this man she’s going to marry!”

“What a fine example you are, Wright, allowing the love of your life to run into another man’s arms! You may as well have gift-wrapped and put a bow on top of her, along with a card, citing your best wishes for the happy couple, because you practically gave her to Beaugosse on a silver platter!”

“Such great advice you give, Mr. Know All About Love! For whatever reasons, you were no more successful than I was in keeping the woman you loved by your side, so stop being such a bloody hypocrite! Have you been using your resources to track down your fiancée, so you can run and fight for her as you’re telling me to do, and prove that you practice what you preach?”

“Lang and Kay have hit a dead-end for now, if you must know! But yes, they are still searching for Franziska’s whereabouts, but unlike myself, you  know where Maya is, which is merely two hours away, instead of some unknown location out there in the world!” Sparks were flying out of Edgeworth’s eyes. “Your so-called nobility is nothing more than yellow-bellied cowardice because you’re too damn afraid to take risks anymore!”

There was a tense silence as Phoenix recoiled at the sharp onslaught. His indigo orbs had turned very, very dark as he finally spoke, a jagged edge to his voice.

“Miles Edgeworth, you have always been a judgmental and domineering control freak, but as your best friend, I have learned to accept that among your shortcomings, just as you claimed to have accepted mine.” The pianist’s infuriated gaze never left his friend’s face. “However, you have absolutely no damn right barking commands about what you think others should be doing because you think it’s best and then thundering down on them when you find you can’t dictate everybody’s lives … just because you recently lost control over your own!”

Edgeworth sucked in a deep breath at the harsh words, then slammed his fist on the table.

“That does it!” Reaching into his wallet, the incensed prosecutor slapped a twenty-dollar bill down on the table and glowered at the other man. “Far be it for me to try to take control of anything you do anymore in this out-of-control roller coaster which is now become your entire existence, Wright! In fact, who the hell am I to play God and determine how you pay for this meal? From here on, you’re on your own. If you ever decide to pull that stubborn, thick skull out of your posterior, give me a call. Until then, I simply wish you a good day.”

With that, he stood up and stormed away from the table.

Glancing down, Phoenix realized that his friend hadn’t left enough funds to cover the entire meal, and cried after him.

“Hey, Edgeworth wait! You didn’t leave enough to cover the check!”

“I left enough to cover my half!” The legist yelled back.

“B – But, I haven’t got any money!”

“I suppose you have to take control of your situation then, won’t you, Wright?” Edgeworth gave one final smirk over his shoulder as he stomped to the door. “You’re a musician, this place has a live band… I suppose you’ll have to sing for your supper, won’t you?”

“But it’s lunchtime!” He cried helplessly to the other man’s retreating back and then looked up with alarm as Jesse reappeared at the table at that moment.

“I, um, brought the bill,” the busboy smiled weakly. “It didn’t seem appropriate to bring it until now…”

“Yeah, thanks…” Phoenix flashed him a sickly grin. “So … Tell me … Does this place do their dishes manually or with an automatic dishwasher?”

Phoenix Wright and Ema Skye
Salchichas Sabrosas Restaurante, LA
June 14, 2016, 6:20 PM

That was beyond humiliating! I had dish-panned hands for a goddamn week afterward! Phoenix grumbled to himself. Still, that was over a month ago, so there’s a very low chance of any staff here remembering me tonight …

The band had begun to play a tune that sounded slightly more upbeat than the one the last time he’d heard them, and he expelled a breath of relief. At least he didn’t need to create newly desolate memories tonight. As for anyone recalling him as the broke-ass bum who couldn’t pay his bill from his last visit…

At least we’re here for dinner and not lunch this time! There’s probably a slim to no chance of even having the same employees be here at night… Least of all that pesky, Spanish translating busybody! If the band is playing yet another sad song tonight, I do not need to know what the lyrics mean this time!

“Bienvenido! Buena noches, Señor y Señora.” A strangely familiar voice greeted them at that moment, and to Phoenix’s utter dismay, the waiter was none other than… Jesse, the Song Interpreting Bus Boy! “May I take your order?”

Are you freaking kidding me?! Is it any wonder I no longer strive to be a gambling man?! What are the goddamn odds?! He slumped in his seat. Maybe if I’m lucky, Jesse won’t remember me as the other half of the dramatically loud pair of dueling diners who made an embarrassing scene last month and probably made the customers think we were having a petty lovers’ quarrel…

Phoenix attempted to hide his face behind the menu, disguising his voice as best as he could while mumbling his order, which was the cheapest thing on there he could afford, as he could not presumptuously assume that Ema would be footing the bill!

“Um, I’ll have the cheese quesadillas please.”

“Those are only available on the children’s menu, aged 10 and under, Señor,” Jesse replied politely.

“Er…” Phoenix slumped further in his seat. “Is that a problem? I’m not too hungry tonight…”

“Mr. Wright?” Ema sounded concerned as she reached across the table and pulled down his menu, her green eyes puzzled. “What’s going on here? And why are you trying to talk with a weird Brooklyn accent?”

“Mr. Wright!” Jesse bellowed, with such a loud enthusiasm that surely the residents of both California and Mexico probably heard him. “Didn’t think I’d be seeing you again so soon! I didn’t recognize your voice! It sounded like you had a cold!”

“Hi, Jesse.” Phoenix smiled feebly. “Er, I thought you were a busboy. I didn’t know you waited on tables, too.”

“I got promoted last week!” The waiter announced proudly. “Not that I was aspiring to move on up in the restaurant world, of course. But until my videographer business takes off, this gig pays the bills in the meantime.”

The young man grinned impishly at the red-faced pianist.

“I meant to praise, you for the great job you did with the dishes last time! They’ve never been so shiny and clean, ever!” Jesse winked. “In case there’s a problem with the bill again, we have an entire stack tonight with your name right on it!”

“Thanks… All the toilet scrubbing I do must come in handy,” Phoenix mumbled, feeling his face turning even redder as Ema bit back a horrified giggle. “Um, if you just give me a moment, I’ll pick something else if I can’t get the quesadillas…” He frantically poured over the appetizer listing, looking for the cheapest item on there.

“Pick whatever you want Mr. Wright,” Ema interjected. “Don’t worry about it, dinner’s on me.”

Exhaling in relief, Phoenix ordered the chimichangas, just as the band began to play, this time with a female vocalist joining him.

Yo voy a casarme 
Vestida de blanco, 
Y en la iglesia un banco 
Quiero reservar.

Para que tú vengas 
Como mi invitado, 
Y bien a tu lad, 
Me mires pasar.

“That’s Eliete, the international Latina superstar!” Jesse informed him, pointing to the pretty, tanned songbird who was now crooning. “We’re so lucky to get her to make a special guest appearance tonight! The song she’s singing is called Vestida de Blanco by Rocío Dúrcal. It means “Dressed in White.”

Vas a darte cuenta 
Que esa mujercita, 
Va llena de dicha 
Camino al altar,

Del brazo de un hombre 
Que le da su nombre, 
Tú se lo negaste, 
Te arrepentirás.

“Dressed in White?” Phoenix echoed, feeling his stomach sliding down to his feet. He didn’t need to be able to speak or understand Spanish to comprehend what this particular song, with its misleadingly upbeat tempo, was all about!

Yo voy a casarme
Vestida de blanco,
Va a dolerte tanto,
Te arrepentirás.

Cuando pase el tiempo, 
Cuando me recuerdes, 
Cuando por las noche 
Sientas soledad.

“It’s about a woman who is walking down the altar, happily skipping down the aisle, while mentally sticking it to her former lover, gloating about how she wished she’d saved him a seat in the congregation to see her getting married, dressed in white, so her ex could regret and repent for all the grief he’s caused her, and for denying ever taking her hand in marriage for himself,” Jesse explained cheerfully, oblivious to the excruciating effect to the heart his unintentionally daggered words were having on the former lawyer, whose mouth had gone dry. “If you want, I can translate the verses for you like I did last time…”

Lloraras bajito,
Lloraras por dentro
Guardando apariencias,
Queriendo ocultar.

Y será muy tarde, 
Ya no habrá regreso, 
Esta misma noche 
Me vas a perder.

“That’s quite all right!” Ema said quickly, treating the waiter to a strained smile as she caught the anguished look in her friend’s eyes, which he hadn’t been quick enough to hide. “Er, I speak fluent Spanish from all my time in Europe, including Spain, so I’d be happy to help my companion with any comprehension aid he may require.” She passed the menu back to the server. “I’ll have the beef tacos, please.”

Del brazo de un hombre
Que me da su nombre,
Tú me lo negaste
Y te va a doler.

Yo voy a casarme 
Vestita de blanco, 
Va ha dolerte tanto, 
Te arrepentirás…

The moment Jesse left, she turned to Phoenix, whose poker-faced mask was back in place, her eyes shining with sympathy.

“You should’ve mentioned you had unpleasant memories here, Mr. Wright!” She lamented, shaking her head. “I’m so sorry to have brought you to this place, especially tonight of all nights, with that song being played in the background!”

“Tonight of all nights?” Phoenix adjusted the brim of his beanie so Ema could no longer see his expression. “Whatever do you mean by that?”

“Mr. Wright look at me.” The Detective reached across the table and placed her hand on his. “You don’t need to put on a front with me. I haven’t been out of the loop that much since I got back. I know Maya’s wedding is right around the corner.”

“Indeed, my former legal assistant is tying the knot the day after tomorrow,” he responded curtly, reflexively pulling back his hand and jabbing into his pocket. “I suppose you caught wind of it since both she and her betrothed are international media darlings?”

“Yes,” Ema admitted, peering searchingly into the shuttered expression. “But I also know that Maya Fey was much more to you than merely your former employee, Mr. Wright, so I wish you’d drop the act with me already.”

Phoenix stared at her, unaccustomed to this sort of candor.

“What are you talking about, Ema?”

“Seven years ago at The Borscht Bowl Club, Lana and I were there that night, remember?” She prompted gently. “It was the night the two of you first got together. I had the pleasure of meeting Maya myself.”

“I’d utterly forgotten…” He murmured, yanking off his beanie, and raking a hand through his hair. “That night was such a blur to me, I guess I still have it in my mind that I last saw you nine years ago rather than seven years prior, at Maya’s party.”

“I bumped into both her and Franziska in the bathroom and helped the birthday girl fix her eye makeup – not that she needed it!” Ema smiled kindly. “I vividly recollect that she was very, very beautiful.”

“Yes, she was.” He was unable to contain the wistfulness in his voice any longer. “Still is.”

“Not to sound conceited, but there was a point when I believe you thought I looked a lot like her…” Ema chose her words carefully. “I finally realized that may have been one of the reasons you were ducking and dodging me because you thought seeing me would be a distressing reminder of your ex.”

Phoenix gaped at her, astounded at how perceptive the formerly giddy teenager had become over the years.

“I’m wondering… Is it still as hard as you thought it would be, seeing me, Mr. Wright?” She asked sadly. “Do I still painfully resemble Maya that much, even now?”

The pianist studied the earnest expression on that comely visage across from him, taking in that topknot; those rose-tinted glasses perched on her head; that white lab coat; and finally, the detective’s ID that hung in place of those badges with the funny faces.

All these years later, he still remembered everything clearly: her penchant for science, how excitable she was, her eagerness and determination for answers, her love for her sister, her dreams, her smile… But she was a grown woman now; taller; tied to the force; her features sharper; lovely. He remembered helping her once upon a time, remembered how she would cling onto his side as a child, noted down his every word like they were from God; and wondered where all those years went. When she’d been 16, Ema Skye had looked a lot like Maya to him, but in adulthood, he realized it simply wasn’t the case anymore.

“No,” he replied truthfully. “There was a time when you did. When I first met you, Maya was gone for a while, and I was missing her dreadfully, and you helped fill that particular void in my life, which I will always be grateful for. But now that I’m seeing you as a young woman, I can honestly say you’ve grown into a unique beauty that is entirely your own. It was cowardly of me to have been avoiding you for as long as I was Ema. I hope you can forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to forgive. I could never be so petty about such a thing, especially when you’re one of the few friends that I have, other than Chief Gumshoe! Good friends are hard to come by you know!”

“Yes, they are! And guys like me don’t just grow on trees!” He relaxed somewhat then. “I can’t believe such a charming and intelligent young woman like you is in want for the company though. You haven’t made any friends on the force? Or at the prosecutor’s office?”

“The prosecutor that I come across most often is the one I’ve been partnered with, Klavier Gavin.” Remembering his obnoxious, arrogant behavior after their near embrace before she’d left the office only fueled her ire, and a scowl twisted her pretty features. “I don’t know if I’m meant to be friends with someone like him, to be honest. He’s a decent prosecutor and he’s nice enough, but sometimes I feel like he cares more about his image than getting a case solved. He seems to enjoy annoying me and has very little respect for my control of a crime scene! To top it off, he’s a shamelessly incorrigible flirt and man whore!”

Her eyes suddenly turned stormy.

“On top of all of that, he seems to think that just like all his other legions of fangirls, I too, should fall at his feet just because he’s a gorgeous golden boy rock god! He – he thinks his flatulence smells like roses!”

“Scientifically speaking, roses is improbable.” His smile – the fake one Ema was beginning to hate, faded away again, and he studied her with now wary eyes at the mention of the prosecutor. “Although a decade ago, the Germans invented a pill which makes your flatus smell like chocolate. They call it Father Christmas.”

“Sounds like something the fop would be all over!” Ema let out a mirthless laugh – she was still sorely irked at the prosecutor. “I hope it’s a suppository!”

Phoenix’s expression wavered ever so slightly, transforming into his strange half-familiar smile, the one that didn’t quite light his whole face, and rested his head on one upturned palm.

“It seems he left quite an impression on you,” he noted quietly. “Klavier Gavin was the very last prosecutor I faced in court before I got disbarred. It sounds like he hasn’t changed a whole lot since then.”

“I’m so angry about that Mr. Wright!” Ema cried, pounding an impotent fist on the table. “I know you! I know you didn’t commit any forgery! You never could’ve resorted to such lowly tactics! If you had desired to when you were helping out Lana and me, you could have done so even then, yet you didn’t!”

This hadn’t been what she’d studied for and strived for – a broken legal system and a Phoenix Wright she barely recognized. The helpless fury in her voice was palpable as she went on.

“You were, and still are, one of the greatest men I’ve ever known, and I hate that this has happened to you! It’s not fair!”

“It means a lot to me that your faith in me never wavered, even though it’s been such a long time that we’ve been apart.” Her passionate outburst touched him, yet saddened him at the same time. “I never wanted you to lose that meliorism of yours – your unshakable belief that the world gets better; the belief that humans can improve the world. I’ll never forget your eager enthusiasm and your unstoppable drive as a teenager. I know this job isn’t your ideal one, but please don’t get discouraged or stop trying to fulfill those dreams, Ema. Whether it’s as Detective or forensic scientist we need people like you – hard-working dedicated confident people like you, working in the justice system.”

He let out a rueful chuckle.

“I used to be the same way, idealistic and hopefully, just like you, once upon a time. Now I feel like I suffer from a case of acatalepsy more than anything else in my jaded old age. The sheer impossibility  of comprehending the universe; the belief that human knowledge can never have true certainty.”

“What I’m certain of, and don’t even need to scientifically have evidence for, is the fact that somebody must have set you up – or just flat out framed you!” Ema declared, her hands balling into little fists. “I swear I’m going to make that bastard pay for this!”

“Don’t be too hard on him. Your boss wasn’t the one who took my badge away,” Phoenix said tiredly. “Someone else is responsible for that. Klavier thought he was doing the right and lawful thing. I probably would have done the same if I were in his position.”

The policewoman felt her stomach somersault hearing these words, and her jaw dropped open.

“Wh – What did you just say?”

“You sounded positively stupefied by this revelation.” Now it was his turn to look concerned as he watched the blood visibly drain from his friend’s face. “I’m a little lost here… Ema how exactly did you come to find out about my disbarring?”

“Chief Gumshoe told me after I had complained to him that I couldn’t reach you and I was wondering if you had fallen off the face of the earth.” She sounded as though she were in a daze as she spoke, even as waves of fury and betrayal washed over her. “But he wouldn’t say any more. Possibly because he didn’t want me to have any antipathy towards my boss – who, if I’m understanding you correctly, was the one who had a hand in you losing your badge.”

“Well….in a manner of speaking…” Phoenix went on to elaborate about that final fateful court case and the surprise witness, Drew Misham, who had proverbially put the defense attorney’s head in the noose with his damning testimony about the forged diary page. “I can’t blame Gumshoe for not wanting you to purposefully work in a hostile work environment.”

“How can you tell me this so calmly, knowing that I work for a man that you have every reason to despise?”

Her hands twitched and she could feel a vein pulsing in her forehead.

“Moreover, how can you expect me not to feel the same way about the very man who didn’t even bother with a thoroughly proper investigation about the so-called damning substantiation against you, then instead took everything at face value, along with the testimony of an admitted forger … and used that bullshit evidence to convict you?!”

“Klavier’s already been punished enough, what with his brother being incarcerated at the hands of his own protégé, just two months ago.” Phoenix sighed. “He’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders and is trapped in a hell that neither of us can imagine. How can I wish hate or punishment on a man who technically committed no crime?”

The brunette gawked disbelievingly at Phoenix, unable to believe how forgiving the man was, how big his heart was. Upon finding out who the involved parties were in his disbarment, Ema had sworn to loathe the dastardly fiend for all eternity. Yet here was the real victim, defending the sonofabitch and telling her to have compassion for him. Well, Phoenix Wright was definitely a bigger person than she was!

And here she’d thought that lying, two-faced, phony of a glimmerous fop’s initial forgetting of their first encounter at the Russian bar had been the worst sin he’d committed!

All these months, her friendship with Klavier had been built on the foundation of lies and half-truths. She had foolishly believed there was actual sincerity in his declarations of affections and his wild flirtations while he’d been trying to woo her, even after finding out how dear she held the former defense attorney he’d ruthlessly sabotaged!

The blasted Hurensohn had not only refrained from confessing the truth but still tried to seduce her, knowing what he did – while keeping silent of his misdeeds, this entire time!

The thought that she’d ever let him lay a finger on her, never mind come close to kissing her, made her feel sick to her stomach. Hate and rage burned in her heart so deep that it was ingrained in the tissue.

“Ema?” Phoenix placed a hand on her arm. “Are you alright? I’m sorry to have been the one to let the cat out of the bag; I can see it was quite a shock to your system. It was never my intention to taint your vision of your boss. I honestly thought you knew.”

The stress of the evening made her snap and she yanked out a packet of Snackoos from her bag and began to munch on them ferociously, trying to distract herself from her thoughts by focusing all her energy on reducing the snacks to less than crumbs inside her mouth, even though they tasted like nothing but sawdust.

“There’s nothing for you to apologize for Mr. Wright!” She declared furiously. “I owe you an apology for bringing us to this restaurant instead of taking you to that authentic medieval fare place across town instead!”

“It’s just as well you didn’t.” He tried to speak lightly, having no idea what he could possibly say to calm down the incensed Detective. “I can’t be out too late tonight anyway, since I have to be at work for 9:00 at this new gig I picked up as a pianist for extra cash. It’s this Indochine pasta joint, Alden Tae’s.”

“Well, I’m gonna have to take you there for a true Middle Ages-style feast the next time we get together.” Her eyes were blazing. “I’ve heard they have a semi-authentic gift shop on the premises … Apparently, I’m going to be needing to pick up one of those little sticks with the ball bearing the sharp spikes around it for when I go into the office tomorrow…”

Dick Gumshoe and Ema Skye
Criminal Affairs Department
June 15, 2026, 8:30 AM

The Police Chief didn’t know what hit him the next morning when the door to his office was suddenly thrown open with a clang, revealing an infuriated Detective Ema Skye, who slammed her hands on his desk without preamble, chest heaving and eyes sparking.

“Chief Gumshoe I have a bone to pick with you!” Ema announced, her intense gaze boring into his. “You and I are supposed to be good friends…so want to know why you actively chose to withhold such a vital piece of truth from me, as if I were some sort of child rather than a grown woman!”

“What are you talking about Pal?” The big man asked nervously, never one who knew how to handle irate females. “What truth did I withhold?”

“How could you have tried to protect that glimmerous fop?” She demanded. “The man responsible for our dear mutual friend Phoenix Wright losing his badge! That was a vital piece of information you left out when you told me about his disbarring a few months ago!”

“S – Sorry Pal!” Gumshoe stammered, shrinking back against his seat under her withering glare. “I didn’t want you to have animosity towards your superior in a job you already hated! And the two of you seemed like you were starting to like each other…”

“Like Prosecutor Gavin?” She laughed harshly. “I tolerated him out of sympathy for what happened with his brother, but mark my words …when I get my hands on him…”

At that moment, Gumshoe’s cell phone rang, and he saw that it was Maggey calling. Talk about being saved by the bell!

“That’s the wife, Detective Skye.” He was already inching out the door, smiling uncomfortably as he did so. “She probably just wants to go over some last-minute stuff for me to pick up on my way home for the big event. Maya’s wedding is tomorrow, and our eldest son is the ring boy and all … Sit tight, I’ll be right back.”

He ducked into an empty cubicle across the hall, leaving the fuming Ema behind, and had only been chatting about picking up the boys’ suits from the dry cleaners for about a minute when suddenly there was a horrible thud sound in his office… Along with a loud yelp of excruciating pain!

“Guten Morgen, Fräulein Detective! I just came to drop off a file to the Chief on my way to work – wait, why are you holding that lamp in your hands like a baseball bat? Ow!”

“You lying, fopping Arschloch! I know what you did!”

Gumshoe felt a flicker of alarm rising within him as he heard a ferociously loud cracking sound, almost as though wood was splintering.

“What did I do?!” Klavier cried plaintively. “Ouch! My eye! Fräulein Detective what’s gotten into you?”

“Fop off! Don’t you Fräulein Detective me!”

CRASH!

“Honey, I’ve gotta go!” The Chief said quickly. “I may have a potential homicide in progress that I need to intervene on – immediately!”

Throwing his phone into his pocket, he raced back into his office, just in time to see Klavier cowering behind the desk as Ema advanced on him menacingly, one tanned hand clamped against his eye.

“Achtung, baby! Not the face!” The German screamed despairingly. “I’m in the arts!”

“Well I’ll just have to break your hand then, won’t I? Say Auf Wiedersehen to your air guitar career, you glimmerous fop!”

“Hilfe! She’s out of control!” Klavier ran to cower behind Gumshoe, both men managing to duck just in time as the globe sitting on the Chief’s desk went flying over their heads and smashed into the wall behind them, before shattering into smithereens.

“Fop you!”

Gumshoe quickly grabbed the tiny little firecracker by the arms from behind, lifting her off the ground while she kicked her feet in the air and screamed obscenities in a combination of English and German at the distraught prosecutor.

“Chief, put me down!” She thrashed wildly in his arms. “He deserves it for what he did to Mr. Wright!”

“I am not letting you go until you calm down, Detective!”

Despite her small stature, Ema was deceptively strong, especially when enraged. Despite being held up in the air with her arms locked by her sides, she still managed to get in one last kick at her target, resulting in Klavier Gavin falling to the floor, moaning, and writhing in agony.

Ouch! The Chief winced in sympathy. I hope Prosecutor Gavin wasn’t planning on having children…

“That one was for lying to me!” Ema shouted, uncaring about the fact that she had potentially just made her superior a eunuch! “Not to mention trying to seduce me, while hiding the truth from me all this time!”

Gumshoe could barely keep a grip on the struggling female in his arms much longer. He needed backup – now!

“Meekins!” He bellowed. “Get your ass in here, pronto! I need you!”

“You like singing pretty songs, fop?” Ema’s face was red with fury as she continued to struggle. “How’s this for a song for you to remember me by? When you see my face, Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell!”

 Chapter Quote:
Vestida de Blanco by Rocío Dúrcal
(English Translation: Dressed in white)

Pat Benatar – Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Rocío Dúrcal – Vestida de Blanco (Dressed in White – translated lyrics and edited for clarity in chapter quote)

The All-American Rejects – Gives You Hell

Juan Gabriel – Querida

A/N: This chapter was inspired by the works of the talented EstelRaca whose fan fictions never cease to tug my heartstrings!