64 Paragons, Picture Books, And Dental Floss
“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful and don’t forget to make some art – write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”
~Neil Gaiman~
Phaya and Magshoe
Empire Bellagio, Los Angeles
Gumshoe’s Condo Suit 707
December 24, 2024, 5:30 PM
Both Phoenix and Maya had been to the retired Detective’s family residence on numerous occasions over the years, although rarely together, as amongst the other couple’s visitors whenever the Master was in town was Trucy, who was still blissfully unaware of her existence, along with Pearl.
However, neither of the guests was prepared for the holiday grandeur that would be their environment that night, and the pianist couldn’t help but let out a whistle of appreciation when they arrived that evening, a bottle of Edgeworth’s finest, rarest port wine in hand for them all to enjoy. (Hendricks had just ‘happened’ to leave the wine cellar door open that evening and so the pianist had helped himself to a bottle of vintage as a last-minute host gift – his best friend had so many hundreds in his vast collection, surely it wouldn’t be missed!)
While slightly smaller than Edgeworth’s penthouse, Dick and Maggey’s condo was still quite the grand space, to say the least. Compared to the museum perfection of the prosecutor’s home, their décor and furnishings were infinitely homier and inviting, with plush carpets and suede sofas in neutral earth colors in the living room with tons of friends and family photos and Gordy’s colorful drawings decorating the walls in place of priceless artwork.
On normal days, the dining room was elegant, in a minimalist sort of way. The maple chairs had plush velvet backs and cushions, each one beautiful in its simplicity, all clean straight lines and high backs. The floor beneath it all was slate and with the cream walls and tall mullioned windows, it was a fine place for the evening meal.
In preparation for the holidays, and their guests that night, however, the dining room could only be described as absolutely exquisite.
The table had been laid in advance: tinsel was strewn atop the starched white damask tablecloths, freshly ironed for the event. Cut crystal and fine porcelain dishes held chocolates and nuts. The walls were covered with shimmering gold paper and in the middle of the ceiling above the carved oak table was a candelabra. Down the center of the table, a runner with a holly design woven in gold and green into the fabric itself. At the end of the table were floor-to-ceiling French doors, left slightly ajar to let in the scented smell of the cranberry candles lit up in the living room. The polished silver cutlery was heavy to the hand and shone brightly in the early evening light. At each place stood a tall empty wine glass beautifully folded napkins to match the runner. All that was missing was the food and the diners.
“Merry Christmas!” The former policewoman squealed, throwing her arms around the psychic in a warm embrace before doing the same to the hobo. Gumshoe came out with a squealing, exuberant five-year-old Gordy, a pint-sized version of his father, who was bouncing around like a little rubber ball at the sight of Uncle Phoenix and Aunty Maya, and they all exchanged hugs.
The spiky-haired man smiled broadly at the sight of the host’s Santa hat and his wife’s reindeer horn headband. Both wore ugly Christmas sweaters – his with a Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer emblem, coupled with a flashing red nose, and hers with the green Grinch, wearing his infamous faux Santa costume. It was heartwarming and hilarious at the same time.
He was pleased that being rich hadn’t changed his old friends in the least; he would have bet his bottom dollar that Maggey had decorated the place herself, even though she and her husband had more than enough funds to have hired someone. He was positive she’d also made tonight’s feast with her own two hands. Although not a big eater, his mouth was watering from the heavenly aromas wafting from the kitchen and teasing his nostrils.
Christmastime is just before the New Year when fresh beginnings loom. One can’t help but some level of excitement in anticipation of what the nearby future of 2025 holds.
“Gordy’s been bouncing off the walls waiting for you guys to come!” Maggey grinned as she ushered them into the living room and sat next to the two on the sofa. “Dinner is ready – you just let me know whenever you want me to bring it out.”
“My wife has outdone herself this year,” Gumshoe boasted, taking a seat on his Lazy Boy recliner. “She’s made enough food for an army! There will be more than enough leftovers for tomorrow night’s dinner with you and your daughter, pal.” He gestured to Phoenix. “Do you know what time Mr. Burger will be dropping Trucy and Pearl off here tomorrow morning?”
“Probably around 9:00,” the poker champ replied. “Gouda’s family is German and the Burgers, like a lot of European families, tend to celebrate everything on Christmas Eve, not the day of. Since I get them back so early tomorrow, I didn’t mind letting my girls go off for the night to enjoy some additional holiday festivities.”
“Remember that you only get Pearly for an hour or so in the morning,” his girlfriend reminded him. “Because after that, she’s coming upstairs to grab me from the penthouse, so we can go back and spend Christmas Day in Kurain.”
“I’m sure a traditional cultural celebration of Noel will be just wonderful!” Maggey beamed. “It must be so great, getting to eat two dinners for the holidays this year!”
“Oh, sure,” Maya grimaced. “I can’t wait for this year’s annual tofu turkey on a platter! It’s the one day a year I can’t get the chef to budge on the village’s ridiculous vegetarian stance!”
Gumshoe chuckled and began chatting with the Master about the other antiquated Kurain customs, while his wife took the moment to discreetly whisper into Phoenix’s ear.
“Don’t worry about Gordy blabbing to Trucy that Maya was here tonight,” she assured him. “He just thinks it’s all a big game of surprise and mystery anyway. Dick and I told him Santa counts loose lips as an act of Bad Little Boys, whose punishment is getting clothes for Christmas!”
“I’m sure he’ll be too excited about seeing his cousins tomorrow to even give us a second thought,” the DILF smiled. “Although I feel bad your annual Santa threat has to still be put into place to ensure his silence.”
Gordy had just run off to get something from his room at that moment, so Gumshoe turned to his friends then and regarded them with uncharacteristic seriousness, his broad face wreathed with curiosity and concern.
“We can only maybe get away with the Kris Kringle bluff for another year or so to bribe his silence, guys,” he told them. “But that only works only as long as Gordy still believes! When do you think you’ll be able to finally come clean to Trucy about the two of you? To be honest, I still don’t quite get why you guys haven’t gone public about your relationship yet.”
Maya gave the hosts a strained smile. The whole issue of their clandestine affair was still a touchy subject for her.
“I trust Nick has his reasons,” she murmured, idly swishing around the glass of wine Gumshoe had just poured them all from the bottle they’d brought over. “We can only hope it will be soon.”
Maggey glared at her husband for his obtuse tactlessness. The beanie wearer’s pained expression and the spirit medium’s downcast gaze were evidence enough to her that this was not a topic to be brought up, no matter how close they all were.
“Don’t worry you worry about how long Gordy’s a Santa believer for.” She smiled reassuringly at her guests. “If he’s anything like his father, we’ve got at least another decade of naiveté in him yet! Heck, Dick here was 16 before he found out the truth about Father Christmas!”
“Maggey!” Gumshoe whined, flushing deeply with embarrassment. “You’re not supposed to tell people that!”
“And you are not supposed to be a bad host and ask our guests overly personal questions that make them visibly uncomfortable!” She snapped back. “Sometimes I do wonder about you, Dick Gumshoe!”
“It’s OK, Maggey.” The phony musician cleared his throat awkwardly. “He’s right, of course. It’s time I came clean. To all of you, about what’s happening with me.”
Everyone gawked at him, stunned at how forthright the close-mouthed former attorney was being at that moment.
“You’re not obligated to tell us anything you don’t want to, Phoenix…” Maggey began, but he held up a hand to stop her.
“You’re wrong, Maggey.” He shook his head. “Guys, I feel like I finally do owe some sort of explanation about what’s been going on, considering how you’ve all, one way or another, been dragged into this mess by having to lie or cover for me these last six years. The truth is, I think this goes a lot deeper than we thought.”
The card shark took a large swig of his wine, not looking at any of them while he spoke his next words.
“There is a lot more going on … and I’m worried about something else. I know it seems like such an easy, logical thing, just coming out in the open about our relationship lately, but …”
He closed his eyes as if gathering courage, and spoke the next words rapidly, as though trying to spit them out while he had the nerve.
“I have reasons to think that just wouldn’t be a good idea right now. As a matter of fact…I don’t think it can be known, at all, that Maya and I are together until I get my name cleared.”
Gumshoe and Maggey seemed beyond flummoxed at the words, while the village leader remained frozen in place. Her hand, which had been reaching for her goblet, was now halted in mid-air.
The psychic sat there miserably, trying to digest her lover’s earth-shattering declaration while desperately trying to hold it together and not commence shrieking uncontrollably as she had a few months prior. She couldn’t believe Nick was dropping a bomb about something so major on Christmas Eve! To make matters worse, he hadn’t even had to courtesy to discuss this in private with her first – he’d blind-sighted his even girlfriend with the news – in mixed company!
I bet his making such a colossal declaration semi-publicly was fully intentional! She fumed inwardly. Her lover clearly reckoned he knew her well enough to figure she’d be unlikely to make a scene in front of others. How convenient Phoenix’s selective memory appeared to have forgotten the events of her 21st birthday – when he’d gotten her so enraged that he’d ended up with a martini … right in the kisser!
Unfortunately, the blasted man knew her all too well. She wasn’t about to make a scene, for the very reasons he’d known she wouldn’t. After all, they were with two people who were among their best of friends who’d kindly extended their hospitality to them, and it was Xmas Eve. Moreover, while little Gordy remained off in his room, thus being spared this awkward conversation, the moppet would undoubtedly still hear it if Maya justifiably lost her shit and made her boyfriend wear the remains of her glass, yet again!
Therefore, there was nothing else the village leader could do but suck in a deep breath, try to compose herself, and not wail like a banshee at this heart-wrenching statement that Gumshoe had essentially just coerced Phoenix into making. All this time, she’d kept the undying faith that the man she loved would be able to prove his innocence someday. However, deciding that their entire future rested upon it made her feel like she’d just been sucker-punched to the gut. It appeared no ray of hope loomed in sight. God only knew when this legal mess would be cleaned up.
In the meantime, despite her boyfriend’s placating words back in the fall, Maya was once again getting impatient. She just could no longer see the correlation between his disbarment and their relationship, any more than their friends did!
Phoenix caught the aggrieved expression on her visage and released a long breath. When he looked at her again, his expression was mournful yet earnest.
The two momentarily were so lost in gazing unwaveringly at one another that neither had heard Maggey discreetly murmur her excuses moments earlier about checking on dinner in the kitchen, then forcibly dragged her clueless, imperceptive husband by the ear behind her.
“My love, I know this wasn’t what you wanted to hear. Believe me, this was just as brutal for me to say as I’m sure it was to hear! I know you probably think I’m being paranoid again but I think there are some underlying sinister workings afoot here.”
She stifled a long-suffering sigh. Just as she’d suspected – his Kristoph/Klavier Gavin conspiracy theory was at play again here, she just knew it! Something had retriggered Phoenix’s agitation – he’d been so carefree up until now. The question was, what had it been this time around?
Ignoring his mini-speech, she crossed her arms and gave him a tight-lipped stare.
“How long are we talking, Nick? How much longer do I need to remain your sordid little secret?”
“I’m sorry, but I honestly don’t know.” He turned away from her angry gaze. “What I’m looking for is a butt-kicking legal paragon of sorts, and they’re hardly a dime a dozen! It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack! I don’t want to say this will take years – months, maybe. Weeks, if we’re lucky…”
The Master shut her eyes against the threatening onslaught of tears. For the entire duration of their relationship, she’d naturally figured they would continue with their current clandestine affair indeterminately. However, hearing him so blithely state that they had no choice was more painful than words could say.
“Edgeworth called me a few months ago,” he told her bluntly, responding to her unspoken question from earlier. “Talking to him brought things to a head. It made me realize I can’t just go out there blindly searching for answers, or expect him to be able to keep investigating for me while he’s in Europe or wherever the heck he is now; not without having a more conclusive plan first. First and foremost, I’ve realized that since my best friend is abroad, and not here in the States now, I need to look elsewhere for legal representation.”
The necromancer was blown away by this news.
“You … Nick … you want to find a lawyer?”
“I have to. I need someone who’s not only a practicing attorney but on the same continent as me, to help plead my case and be my legal spokesperson. But the problem is, I can’t take just any jerk with an attorney badge. I need to hold out for someone who actually cares about helping people and looks out for the underdog. Somebody who truly cares about justice.”
Her lover just as easily could have been describing himself, but the diviner knew Phoenix well enough to know exactly what the subtext of his search really meant. She smiled sadly, knowingly.
“You need another Mia. You’re looking for a lawyer with the same ethics and morals as my sister, aren’t you, Nick?”
“Lawyers like your legendary sibling don’t exactly grow on trees, you know.” The hobo nodded earnestly, relieved that she understood. “Mia was one in a million. Lord only knows when another lawyer like her will come around again. That’s why I told you about this next phase … although it’s the final frontier, it won’t be an overnight thing. This waiting game could take a while.”
He regarded her anxiously.
“But I can’t force you to play the waiting game with me, Maya. I know it’s already been almost six years…”
She cut him off.
“Nick, save your breath. I know I’ve been getting impatient but don’t even think about asking me if I’m willing to wait for you.”
She slid off the couch and stood before him, bending forward and taking his face into her hands so he could see the determination and unwavering love in her eyes.
“We’re in this together. Partners, remember?”
He nodded, turning his head slightly against her palm so he could kiss it.
“Thank you, my love.”
“Oh goody, I see you crazy kids have cleared things up,” Maggey announced gaily as she walked into the dining room, Gumshoe in tow. The former was carrying two delectable-looking silver platters of steaming food and the latter held the most gigantic, juiciest-looking turkey either guest had ever seen.
“And I notice no booze went flying this time, so it looks like your shirt and my couch are safe from harm, pal,” the ex-flatfoot joked to the anterior defense lawyer, setting down the enormous bird beside the other dishes of sumptuous fare Maggey had placed on the table.
“I’m sorry you guys felt like you had to leave,” Phoenix apologized. “It honestly wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have wanted you to hear. After all, you two are family.”
“See?” Gumshoe cried plaintively, rubbing his tender earlobe and affecting a wounded expression. Did I not tell you there was no need to get up and leave – while literally dragging me out of there by the ear, Mags?”
His wife merely shook her head at her daft husband, then flashed her most benign smile at her friends.
“Don’t be silly. Even family is still allowed their privacy,” she dismissed airily. “I’d sent Gordy to go get your presents because I thought it’d be fun to do a quick little gift exchange before supper, but I should check to see what’s taking him so long…”
“Here are the presents, Mommy!” Gordy burst back into the room, dragging a large, velour Santa-style gift bag along the carpet behind him. “I got all the ones that said ‘Nick and Maya’ on them!”
“You got us a sack full of goodies, guys?” The psychic teased, reaching on the floor by her feet where she’d placed the parcels they’d brought for the Gumshoes. “Way to make us feel bad! We only got you guys one gift each!”
She handed Gordy his gift first, then passed the child the two boxes for his parents to bring over to them.
“Um, we did only get you one gift each…” Maggey replied hesitantly, reaching for the sack of presents, but her son yanked it out of her grasp.
“I’m gonna play Santa, Mommy! You and Daddy sit!” Gordy ordered. “I’m gonna give out the presents!”
“OK sport, whatever you say,” Gumshoe chuckled, plopping his red and white hat onto the adorable youngster’s head, then coming back to sit in his recliner while Maggey perched herself on his lap. “You can play Santa all you like!”
“M – Maya. This one’s for you, Aunty Maya!” Gordy told her happily, placing a flat box into the diviner’s arms and then passing the other one to the pianist. “And that one says Nick … It’s for you, Uncle Phoenix!”
“Thanks, Gordy,” the DILF grinned, patiently waiting until everyone had been handed their gifts before carefully opening his package, unlike his girlfriend, who promptly tore into hers with typical, child-like enthusiasm.
Everybody began unwrapping their presents.
“Oh wow, this is so cool!” The little boy crowed with delight when he saw the complete action figure set his aunt and uncle had gotten him from the Pink Princess, Steel Samurai, and Iron Infant movies. “It has the Evil Magistrate too! Thank you so much, Aunty Maya and Uncle Phoenix!”
“Holy cheese and tiny little crackers!” The beanie-wearer had just opened his gift box, his countenance registering utter stupefaction.
At that very moment, Maya had just opened her parcel, and let out a strangled gasp.
“Sweet candy cane Christ in a Camaro!”
Gumshoe and Maggey’s eyes widened in horror as they realized what parcels their son had just handed their friends.
“No, wait –!” The couple cried in unison, but it was too late.
“Er, was this supposed to be some sort of hint?” Phoenix asked weakly as he held up the package, which contained a long-handled, turbo-charged, electronic back shaver!
Maya’s jaw dropped, momentarily forgetting the traumatic items that she’d just unwrapped.
“Hey, what gives, guys?” She demanded with mock indignation of the red-faced Gumshoes. “My boyfriend does not have a hairy back!”
“That was meant for D- Dick,” Maggey spluttered. “Gordy’s just learning the alphabet in kindergarten, and just couldn’t make out my terrible handwriting … he probably just saw the i-c-k part and thought it said, Nick!”
“Isn’t this just dandy, honey!” Gumshoe groaned, burying his head in his hands. “Now our friends not only know I believed in Santa until I was a teenager but have been made aware that my wife thinks I’m a furry gorilla!”
“Don’t feel bad about having lots of hair, Daddy,” Gordy stopped playing with his figurines long enough to console his father. “After all, Mommy has hair on her bottom!”
There was a stunned silence in the room, right before the Master exploded into a fit of giggles, followed by the snorting sniggers of her swain.
“It’s not funny guys!” Maggey scowled at the mirthful duo, her cheeks burning bright pink. “Feel free to stop laughing anytime now!”
“Yeah, you big meanies! Gumshoe added wryly. “You just till you hear the stuff that comes out of your kids’ mouths!”
Maya was still giggling helplessly, her own opened gift abandoned on her lap, not even noticing Gordy walk over to his aunt and examine the contents of the box in confusion.
“Daddy, why did you get Aunty Maya a picture book?” The boy asked, holding up a very adult-looking book in one hand and a pair of fur-lined handcuffs in another. “Can’t she read words yet? It looks so boring – it just keeps showing pictures of a man hugging a lady on each page…”
“Sweet and holy Mary, mother of God…” Maggey choked, her face now resembling a tomato. “Gordy…”
“And why did you give Aunty handcuffs? Are you going to arrest her, Daddy?”
“Jumping tater tots!” Gumshoe promptly overcame the shamed indignation of being a Chewbacca-style beast and lunged for his son, but wasn’t quick enough. “That was for your mother!” He gasped haplessly as Gordy now held up the hot-pink, skimpy Victoria’s Secret thong for the whole room to see.
“I’m sorry, Aunty Maya, I think I mixed up your name with my Mommy’s,” Gordy informed the snickering diviner solemnly. “Cuz I remember her looking at pictures of this in a magazine, but Daddy told her it’s way too much money to spend on dental floss!”
“I guess Daddy changed his mind,” Phoenix quipped with a smirk. “You can’t put a price tag on oral hygiene after all!”
Maya’s shoulders were still shaking with helpless laughter as she tactfully turned the explicitly diagramed copy of the Kuma Sutra downward and handed it, along with the fuzzy handcuffs to Maggey, whose mien was still beet-red with mortification.
“I believe these were for you, too!” She rasped, wiping her streaming eyes and flashing an impish grin at her boyfriend, who was still rolling on the floor with laughter. “Too bad for us, though, huh, Nick?”
“I could just die!” Maggey moaned, clapping a hand on her forehead. “Guys…I’m so sorry…”
“For what? Giving us the best laugh we’ve had in ages?” Maya tittered.
“Seriously, are you kidding?” Phoenix spluttered. “No need to apologize – you guys are the best! Maya and I needed this so badly – you have no idea!”
Gumshoe handed his guests the other two, remaining unwrapped boxes Gordy had given to his parents in error and scratched his head gawkily.
“These are actually for you guys,” he told them, still blushing. “Hope you like them!”
“We love the wine and cheese club membership you guys got us, by the way,” Maggey was glowing with pleasure. “Two varieties of artisanal cheese selections and two different, critically acclaimed, accompanying wines every month! How thoughtful!”
“I do like my cheese,” the big man admitted, smiling broadly. “Although with an incident like this one here, I could certainly use a good, hefty dose of the grape stuff to get past this!”
“At least we needn’t even ask if you’d like some cheese with your whine,” Phoenix deadpanned.
“Yeah, you should know, ya wino!” Maya twittered.
“Don’t judge him, you’ll start to drink too, once you become parents!” Maggey added, laughing. “Kids do say the darndest things! Now open your gifts, which I imagine you’ll find far more appropriate!”
“Two tickets to the Steel Samurai live stage production!” The Pink Princess’s inspiration enthused, her eyes sparkling with delight. “Thanks so much, you guys rock! Pearly will love this!”
“She’d better,” her beau said dryly. “Even if we weren’t in different social stations than we are now, Maya, I’d still rather put a campfire out with my face than be the one going with you to that!”
“You just wait till I get you back upstairs and see what kind of gift you’re getting for that smart-aleck remark, Buster!” She scowled at him. “A lump of coal, that’s for sure!”
“Objection! I’ve done my hard time already! Have you forgotten the three long years I previously endured of your brain-numbing kiddy samurai shows, Maya?”
His brain must numb if he thinks that part of his life is over now, she snickered to herself. Just wait till he sees what I got him for Christmas!
She smiled angelically at her boyfriend.
“Why don’t you see what’s inside your box, Nick?”
Phoenix tore off the wrapping and unveiled a pretty chrome and glass French press coffee maker. He smiled thankfully.
“Thanks a lot, guys! Perfect timing as my current java machine is on the fritz,” he told them, admiring the Bodum model’s fine Swiss craftsmanship. “And this will go so perfectly with those mysterious, premium blends of Arabica beans from South America that I just got in the mail!”
“Someone sent you an anonymous package of coffee?” Maya asked in surprise. “Is there a Secret Santa or Admirer I should know about, Nick?”
“Well, I’ll let you know how generous a gift-giver they are once I try their thoughtful blend,” he answered, his eyes twinkling. “But in the meantime, it does appear to be the good stuff, so a very Merry Christmas to me, indeed!”
Maggey clapped her hands.
“OK, now that everyone’s done with their presents, Dick has a revelation he has to make!”
“If you want me to investigate that package for you, pal, I’ll be able to as of the New Year,” Gumshoe told them proudly, an ear-to-ear grin on his face. “Guess who’s back on the police force as of January?”
The couple was astounded only for a split second. Then they spoke at once.
“That’s awesomesauce!” Maya cheered. “Way to go, pal!”
“A hearty congratulations to you – newly reinstated Detective Gumshoe!” Phoenix raised his wine glass.
“That’s Chief Gumshoe now, pals!” The ramen lover smiled with pride as he scratched his head. “The old chief retired, and I’m sick and tired of the retirement life already. I miss the force. Even if it is mostly a desk job now, once an officer, always an officer.”
“He was going stir-crazy being at home these last few years. Dick belongs on the force,” Maggey sighed. “Plus, we’re running out of room for all the junk he keeps buying in bulk since he discovered the joys of economy-sized, wholesale shopping! Do you know the guest room has floor-to-ceiling stacked packages of Costco’s Kirkland brand toilet paper?!”
“Best be prepared in the event things suddenly get pretty shitty,” Maya quipped, then blushed as Phoenix gave her a pointed look and then tilted his head at Gordy, who thankfully appeared oblivious to the pun as he was too engrossed with his new toys.
“Well, I won’t need to be worrying this time around on the job that I’ll be putting up with anyone else’s sh- er, shitake mushrooms,” Gumshoe corrected himself hastily as he puffed out his chest. “It’s not like I need the money now. And, if they don’t like my performance, it’s not like anyone can try to hurt me by threatening to lower my pay or fire me!”
Phoenix cracked up at that one. “Does Edgeworth know yet?”
“I thought I’d surprise my ex-boss with the news the next time I talk to him.”
“That is so amazing, Gumshoe, coming back as the boss, and not having to take any guff from anyone!” Maya enthused. “I mean, I’d be milking this for all it’s worth, knowing I was untouchable!”
She snickered and lowered her voice a few octaves.
“Yeah fool, I’m coming in late! And you bet your butt that I’m going home early! Whatcha gonna do to me, huh, punk? Do you feel lucky?”
“He’s becoming a cop and rejoining the force, Maya,” Phoenix laughingly reminded her. “He’s not morphing into Clint Eastwood and headed to the Wild, Wild West!”
“True, although I think my husband would make quite the sexy cowboy.” Maggey smiled lovingly at Gumshoe before letting out another gusty sigh. “Alas, Dick finally has found the perfect excuse for wearing his trademark trench coats again! Ergo, I have no room to raise an objection, this time around!”
The kindly woman shook her head ruefully.
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: You can take a detective out of the police department, but darned if you can get the trench coat off of the detective!”
“I swear, I will only wear the new designer ones, and throw them out as soon as they get ratty or bullet-holed honey,” Gumshoe promised, rising from his seat and gesturing for the others to follow him out of the living room.
Somehow, they were all marshaled into the dining room, and the feast began.
There was a fully dressed roast turkey, apple sauce for the pork tenderloin, gravy for both, and a mound of chestnut stuffing. For sides, there were stuffed potatoes with buttermilk and bacon, butternut squash and rutabaga puree, and an ample helping of green vegetables. Best of all was the still-steaming, aromatic freshly baked loaf, which Maya eagerly grabbed first.
The Master brought the fresh, warm bread to her nose, inhaling deeply. It smelled rich, promising a delightful taste. Picking up a knife, she applied copious amounts of thick, creamy yellow butter. She spooned out a dollop of sweet, tangy blackberry jelly and slathered the fruity preserve onto the spongy white bread. She ripped off a chunk, stuffing the piece into her mouth. It was soft and warm. The pleasant smoothness of the butter blended perfectly with the bitter-sweet taste of blackberries.
There was soon contented silence at the table as everyone dug into the delicious food. Maggey had truly outdone herself that year, and Phoenix found himself being happier than he’d been in ages, just soaking up the atmosphere of having those near and dear to him on this festive occasion. He felt truly blessed.
It’s not about the turkey for me, or the stuffing, or even the roast potatoes. Don’t get me wrong, I love all that stuff and Christmas wouldn’t be the same without it. But a holiday that’s all about getting loved ones together, and being thankful for all that we have; each other, our home, and the food we eat. Being able to sit around the table, all of us together, and thank God, that’s just magic to me. It’s a holiday when we just kick back and celebrate how wonderful our ordinary lives are.
But there was something else he was grateful for more than anything, and that something was what was making a part of him incredibly antsy and eager to fast-forward this delightful feast. He was itching to get his gorgeous lover back upstairs and really let the good times roll, picking up where they’d left off from that steamy moment in Edgeworth’s bathroom!
Earlier that night, when a horny as-hell Phoenix had left the facilities while Maya was finishing her bath, he’d stumbled on something that had just happened to be resting on her bedside night table.
A very distinctive sheet of stationery.
At the top of the striped paper were the words Wish List printed in a font designed to resemble a child’s scrawl. Below that were the beautifully formed letters he recognized as Maya’s neat handwriting.
- Pearly: new pearl necklace for her magatama
- Trucy: golden magician’s wand
- Nick: Grape Juice of the Month Club Year Membership
And then she’d run a slash through that list and began a new one.
My Wish List – (naughty)
- Nick, naked and wrapped in a bow.
- Nick, kissing me senseless.
- Nick cooking me dinner naked. (so I can stare at his ass)
- Going South of the Border on Nick. (yum)
- Nick going to both the North AND South Pole on me. (double yum)
- Getting Blitzkrieg mit dem fleischgewehr until Nick can’t walk.
Phoenix cast a surreptitious sideways glance at the love of his life, who was merrily chatting away and stuffing herself to oblivion, completely unaware of what he had in store for her the moment he got her alone that night.
He smiled slyly to himself.
Merry Sexmas indeed!
This Christmas, not-so-Saint Nick was going to ensure that sure all of Maya Fey’s wishes came true…
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