38 The Dragon’s Den

Images of sorrow, pictures of delight
Things that go to make up a life
Endless days of summer longer nights of gloom
Just waiting for the morning light
Scenes of unimportance like photos in a frame
Things that go to make up a life
As we relive our lives in what we tell you 

Maya Fey and Pearl Fey 
Kurain Village, Fey Manor
September 17, 2020, 4:47 PM

Maya rapidly blinked a few times as she stood on the stone tile flooring in the main hallway of her ancestral residence, still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that what lay before her aghast eyes was indeed, still her home, and not some warped replication straight out of The Twilight Zone!

Fey Manor, in traditional Japanese style, had an interior scheme that was both clean and minimalist, composed of doors, screen grids, and frames all made of natural wood, maple, cypress, hemlock, and red pine, with bamboo used for accent decorative purposes. The flooring was mainly wood or grey stone tile, with wood shelving and wall panels remaining of the few walls not replaced with large glass sliding doors or screens that were covered in opaque paper. The large, expansive skylight windows and ceiling openings were predominantly void of any heavy drapery or obstruction, save for a few simple bamboo shades or sheer, gauzy curtain panels to allow as much natural lighting in as possible.

In keeping with the natural beauty of the outside world, the manor bore simple colors from nature, with the predominant colors derived from the browns of wooden elements, and the greens of plants. The design resulted in a simple color palette that was a very neutral, Zen-inspired interior to soothe the mind and soul.

At least, that had been the way it’d been when the psychic had seen it last!

Taking in her new surroundings, the Master had forsaken peaceful tranquility entirely and had immediately catapulted, as her shock wore off, straight to immeasurable, violent, homicidal wrath!

Maya’s hands clenched into fists at her sides.

“Mildew!” She seethed.

Her targeted ferocity wasn’t misconstrued, of that she was certain. After all, who, besides The Dragon Lady herself, could be responsible for such an audacious, repugnant … objectionable décor overhaul?

Just like who else would have had the tenacity and gall to have replaced the wall painting of Maya’s mother, which had been hanging in the foyer, with a portrait of her own haughty, vainglorious one, in full, floor-to-ceiling size? And then had the gall to remove the statue of Mystic Ami and replace it with an incomplete yet recognizable, life-sized one of herself, which was taking up the majority of the main hallway, to boot?!

The beautiful, brightly-lit windows which allowed for a breathtaking view of the lush greenery outside were now covered with dreary, bulky, ugly-ass curtains, which were gun-metal grey, and so thick that sunlight was entirely obstructed – inside, the place looked like it was near dark outside rather than broad daylight!

This place looks fit for a solar-evasive vampire! The psychic fumed. Hells bell! Blood-sucker… fire-breathing wyvern … same difference. Both can be immediately eliminated via a stake  – or sword! – to the heart!

Taking a gander around, however, Maya became increasingly grateful for the dimness, which partially obscured the monstrosity that was now her ancestral home. She wasn’t sure she could have handled the bastardizing of her residence in living color at that particular moment!

The pretty rice paper lamps and Shoji screens, as well as the dramatic, wall-hanging fountains and Japanese brushstroke paintings, depicting waterscapes, were all gone. In their stead were blindingly bright, psychedelic paintings that were more eye-sore than artwork, snomit-green shaggy throw rugs, and hideous, heavy wooden and brass lamps, with gaudy orange and purple paisley lampshades. The icing on the cake had to be the large, pastel-colored flower pot chandelier hanging from the ceiling … from a faux-floral garland.

It all looked like an unfathomable mismatched combination of regurgitated groovy 1970s coupled with 1960s the Hippy era!

Great snakes! Is this vile, putrid, reminiscent décor Mildew’s way of trying to re-live her youthful days of Free Love?

She gave a violent shudder at the notion.

Blech! I think my mind just vomited inside itself! The idea of that hell-beast making the beast with two backs is fouler and more nausea-inducing than actual snot/vomit or any color combination that resembles it!

Suddenly, another abominable concept occurred to her, and to the horrified-looking Pearl, who was right at her cousin’s heels as she raced down the hall.

Great Javanese gumdrops! My office!

Skidding to an abrupt halt at her destination, Maya realized things were far worse than she had feared. Paisley wallpaper… plaid couches… tacky, fluorescent lava lamps … and all her Pink Princess and Steel Samurai posters were nowhere to be seen assuming they hadn’t just been covered up by the ginormous black and white photos of Donny Osmond and Engelbert Humperdinck!

The focal point of the office was none other than The Dragon Lady herself. She was seated languorously at Maya’s desk, bare feet propped atop it, sipping from a porcelain teacup while Tom Jone’s What’s New, Pussycat blared from the old-fashioned record player sitting on the corner table. Mildred’s eyes were languidly closed as her head leaned back on the wall behind her, which was adorned by a large photo of Elvis Presley, in his white-suited, hip-thrusting, guitar-playing glory.

Without preamble, the Master stormed over to the phonograph and crudely jerked the needle across the vinyl, uncaring about the ear-splitting scratching reverberation it made. She smiled grimly as she saw how the jarring effect of the ear-raping music being unexpectedly halted had the desired effect of jolting Mildred out of her quixotic woolgathering. Gasping loudly, she jerked forward in her chair with a comical lurch, crying out in dismay as the action spilled what Maya could only hope was scalding hot tea down the front of her kimono.

The old crone’s beady orbs were wide with disbelief at the sight of the mutinous, tight-lipped Master standing before her.

“Mystic Maya,” Mildew croaked, attempting to drag together the rags of her composure. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing…” the diviner’s cadence was one of poisonous sweetness as she crossed her arms over her chest. “But I think the evidence of that is pretty damn clear! Making yourself right at home in my absence, I see, Mildred. I do hope you haven’t gotten too comfortable though?”

The village elder was too rattled by the Kurain leader’s unexpected arrival to even bother harping about the deliberate disrespectful omission of her name-preceding Mystic title.

“I –I’ve been holding down the fort during your unfortunate absence, Mystic Maya,” Mildred stammered, rising quickly from her chair and slowly making her way over to the Feys. “I wasn’t certain when – or if – you’d be returning, as the hospital refused to offer any further details! The last update we received was from Sister Bikini, stating that you’d collapsed and had since been comatose.”

The Master barely swallowed back a smug guffaw.

You bet your wizened old heinie Hickfield clinic kept mum about my condition – because Sister Bikini specifically instructed Hickfield not to utter a peep to anyone who inquired unless they wanted the pants sued off them!

The kindly nun, of course, had long since been reassured of the Master’s recovery, as well as the on-goings of what she’d been enduring at the hands of the Elders by Mia herself. Therefore, Bikini had had zero qualms about keeping mum and letting those ‘wretched old biddies’ stew in their juices a bit longer!

Understanding the world is a door to believing what we are, where we are living, and what we expect to come out of our actions.

“Yes, I can see you’ve regressed to a state most deathly frail whilst fretting this whole whether or not I was knocking at heaven’s door.” She treated her nemesis to a prickly smile. “However, whatever actions you’ve taken may now be ceased straightaway. As you can see, I’m back now, and quite palpably among the land of the living!”

“We were all worried sick!” Mildred insisted shrilly, her cavil sounding about as persuasive as Winston Payne’s. “We thought we’d lost yet another Master – and so soon after last year’s Hazakura Temple tragedy! Then, on top of that, your second-in-command, Mystic Pearl, appeared to have gone missing right afterward! We were positively beside ourselves wondering about the little dear’s whereabouts…”

“She was staying in Los Angeles, where I was admitted, with some close friends. You needn’t have concerned yourself about her, either.” The necromancer wrapped a protective arm around her silent cousin’s shoulders. “Pearly, along with this whole village, is solely my responsibility. Now then, as I just conveyed, you are hereby relieved of your temporary, self-appointed, Master’s duties immediately.”

“Of course, Mystic Maya,” Mildred gritted out through clenched teeth, shuffling towards the door. “My humble presence here is only to serve your every wish and command.”

She was just about to slither off when the Master’s next words stopped her cold in her tracks.

“Incidentally, I am placing you entirely in charge of transforming this manor back to the exact state it was in before my departure, Mystic Mildred,” Maya informed her coolly. “Also, since I’ve been gone, if perchance you’ve been residing within Fey Manor or my chambers,  you are to remove all these excrescences, gather your possessions and move back to your cabin, post-haste. You have exactly 48 hours to complete these directives.”

“48 hours?” Mildred hissed ferociously as she spun around, her phizog slowly turning puce with rage as her meek, contrite façade vanished in a cloud of smoke. “How dare you! I shall do no such thing! Your orders are preposterous and beyond impossible! You have zero right to cast me out of this house and on my ear when I have exclusively been the one keeping this village running for the past fortnight!

“I have every damn right in the world.” Maya glowered at the harridan. “You have desecrated my late mother’s name in the past enough and I have suffered all thersitical slurs in silence for far too long but I refuse to stand by and abide your existence in her house, and thence, my house, one moment longer! How dare you try to wipe away her presence by replacing her sacred Master’s painting with your despicable likeness? You’re lucky I’m even allowing you to collect your monstrosities, rather than throwing those carbuncles in the garbage, along with the rest of the kitschy gewgaws you’ve defiled our ancestral home with!”

“You shut your insolent mouth, you impertinent hoyden! You’ve got some nerve, insulting all the great things I’ve done while you weren’t around!” Mildew snarled. “Moreover, having these legendary crooner images in this office, rather than your juvenile cartoons, is a massive improvement! If anything, my tasteful enhancements have vastly convalesced this place! What would an allegedly grown woman who still idolizes animated characters even know about good taste?”

“Improved?” Maya laughed humorlessly. “Is that what you want to call turning the bright, natural lighting of the main hall and foyer into a dimly lit place with your drab, gloomy drapery? All you’ve managed to do is make this manor look like the inside of a prison full of your tawdry crap!”

“You truly are just as much a discourteous, shameless heathen as the other relatives that came before you, just like I’ve always known you were! You’ve got some nerve, speaking so disrespectfully to a Village Elder in this impudent manner!”

The Dragon Lady’s nostrils were flaring now.

“Maya Fey, you are wholly dishonorable and underserving of your esteemed title, do you hear me? Such indecorous, ill-mannered impertinence – and from a girl-child who is supposed to be our esteemed leader! Just who the happy hell do you think you are?”

“I’m the uppermost echelon who’s informing you that despite your valiant efforts to make it the contrary, you are not my warden and Fey Manor is my house, not a bloody penitentiary!”

Maya’s voice rose several octaves.

“I just got out of one hellacious prison of sorts and you presumptuously attempted to turn my home into another one? Who in the name of God’s novelty underpants and matching toga do you think you are? Did you get so deluded in your little act of playing village leader that you forgot that this isn’t your house –because you don’t own diddly squat and you’re not and never will be, the Master of Kurain!”

“Why you – you worthless, incompetent, ungrateful… spoiled little bitch!” Mildred spat contemptuously. “A plague on both your houses!”

“You shut up, you mean old witch!” Pearl suddenly shouted, rolling up her sleeve menacingly as her eyes shot daggers at the elder. “You can’t talk to Mystic Maya like that! You’re just mad because you know you’re supposed to listen to her since she’s Master and you’re not! And you made her house look … all stupid and ugly!”

“You shut your mouth, you little brat!” The old termagant shrieked, turning her lethal glare towards the girl. “It’d hardly behoove you to emulate the lengthy line of obstinate, disreputable, useless Fey women and start denigrating your elders, as well!”

“You shut up right now! I hate you, Dragon Lady!” Pearl screamed. “Up your Ziggy with a Wawa brush!”

“Pearly!” Maya gasped, taking advantage of Mildred’s startled silence to momentarily take her eyes off her adversary and stare incredulously at her cousin. “Where in Mystic Ami’s name did you learn to use language like that?”

“Um, the internet, Mystic Maya.” Pearl blushed and looked down, shamefaced. “

Good grief, after this dust settles, I really need to remember to put the parental controls on my computer…

The Master didn’t get a chance to finish her thought, as Mildred had recovered from her stupefaction and was advancing on the tiny spirit medium menacingly, one skeletal hand raised in the air to strike her.

“Don’t you dare!” Maya shouted but before she could intervene, Pearl suddenly did a sharp, ninja-style spinning kick, catching Mildred right in her knee, causing the hag to fall to the ground with a hard thump, right onto her wrinkled backside.

“Oof!” Mildred grunted as she landed.

The psychic was torn between being horrified and bursting into histrionic fits of laughter at how out of hand things had gotten.

“Butter my buns and call me a biscuit, Pearly! Wherever did you learn that?!”

“Miss Sasha. She used to be an MMA fighter and taught me and Trucy all kinds of self-defense moves…”

Pearl’s sentence was left dangling, as with surprising speed for a senior of her advanced age, Mildred had recovered from her tumble and was back on her feet, lunging at the child and roughly grabbing her tiny shoulder as she again raised her bony hand to smack her.

Maya reflexively threw out her arm in front of Pearl to protect her beloved cousin from the slap, just as the little girl raised her arms over her head, cringing in preparation for the pending blow.

Genesis – Second Home By The Sea