172 Promise Of A New Day

Eagle’s calling
And he’s calling your name
Tides are turning
Bringing winds of change
Why do I feel this way?

The promise of a new day
The promise
The promise of a new day

As through time
The earth moves under my feet
One step closer
To make love complete
What has the final say?

The promise of a new day
The promise
The promise of a new day

And so time over time
What will change the world
No one knows

So the only promise
Is a day to live
To give
And share with one another

See the wisdom
From mistakes in our past
Hear the younger generation ask
Why do I feel this way?

The promise of a new day

Miles Edgeworth and Phaya
Detention Center
July 12, 2026, 3:00 PM

“Wait right here, pals. I’ll come back for you as soon as I get proper clearance,” the Police Chief advised his friends as they entered the detention center. “It’s very seldom we allow visitors to go down to the prisoner’s holding cells, instead of bringing the convict out to communicate through the glass partition. Plus, I need to ensure there are no issues with allowing the three of you a group visit. I should only be a few minutes.”

“Luckily, I have absolutely no life!” Phoenix replied easily, flopping down onto one of the chairs in the skylit entrance lobby beside the already seated prosecutor, who bit back a smirk at such a buoyant proclamation. “Don’t rush on my account, Gumshoe. Trucy’s dragged Apollo somewhere on one of her whimsical outings, I’m not working tonight, and my better half’s cleared her schedule today, so we’re just hanging out the rest of the evening, with nothing better to do. Hence, Maya and I have all the time in the world!”

The magenta-clad man was simultaneously entertained and a twinge envious of his old courtroom rival’s continued fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants approach to life, which clearly hadn’t changed much at all over the years. Now that Maya was back, despite his badge loss, the pianist seemed almost as happy and carefree as ever.

What must it be like, being Phoenix Wright? Miles pondered fastidiously. Would I be happier as well if I shed my admittedly bourgeois ways and attempted to emulate his laissez-faire way about everything? Uurrngh! What in blazes am I thinking?! Me, be like Wright?! Surely, I must have taken leave of my senses for even momentarily contemplating such a cockamamie notion! Even if I wanted to, I’m far too set in my ways to bother changing at this point in my life! I probably shouldn’t say any of this out loud, though. Thank all that is holy for the inner monologue. Speaking of things being kept to yourself…

“Tell me, have either your daughter or protégé met your inamorata, as of yet?” The logic genius asked Phoenix. The ex-lawyer was lounging comfortably in his chair, with an ankle propped up against his knee, arms spread out, and looking as though he didn’t have a care in the world. Just as he was about to answer, Maya suddenly realized they were in proximity to a fully stocked vending machine.

“Hot diggity! Swiss rolls!” The village leader leaped to her feet from her seated place beside her beau. “I haven’t had those nummy things in ages! Hubba, hubba, come to mama! Do you guys want anything?”

The men both shook their heads at the offer, then watched with great merriment as Maya made an immediate beeline to the contraption of overpriced munchie heaven.

Despite all his years of knowing the girl’s insatiable appetite, the chess enthusiast couldn’t help but silently marvel at the sight of the tiny spirit medium as she proceeded to unload an arsenal of caloric, sugary goodness into her purse, in spite of having demolished nearly an entire box of doughnuts at the precinct barely half an hour ago!

“Wright, how is that woman not 400 pounds?!”

“I’ve been contemplating that same question for the last ten years! Maybe all that spirit channeling burns mega calories?”

The hobo barely suppressed a snigger as his girlfriend struggled to shut her now overflowing pocketbook, which was stuffed to the brim with various snacks, before turning away and responding to his friend’s initial query.

“Has Trucy – never mind Apollo! – hitherto met my little glutton, you asked?” The pianist chuckled ruefully and shook his head. “As unbelievable as it may seem, would you believe me if I told you they always seem fated to keep missing each other, every single time Maya comes down to the city? My kid won’t stop guilt-tripping me with her constant reminders of how she was hugely instrumental in getting the two of us back together, either! Trust me, she hasn’t once ceased begging for the chance to finally meet her Future Mommy! Nevertheless, my two girls seem to be like two ships in the night, whose paths just haven’t been destined to cross up until now!”

“Need I give the reminder that you lovebirds reconciled nearly a month ago, Wright?” The legist arched a derisive, well-groomed brow. “And your swain has come down quite frequently to help the two of us further investigate Mildred Latrine’s shady money laundering attempts! Are you telling me it’s been that unviable to correlate both ladies’ schedules?”

“Well, whenever Maya come to town, by the time we’d wrapped up our extensive, mostly full-day Mildew investigations, it’d be time for her to get back to her Master duties in Kurain and I’d have to go to work!” The beanie wearer answered, somewhat defensively. “Heck, you were with us most of the time, Edgeworth! You oughta know firsthand how time-consuming all that digging was. We had to be meticulous with the details if we hoped to fry The Dragon Lady!”

The spiky-haired man averted his eyes from the attorney’s probing stare.

“Or else, um, my daughter’s been busy at work or running around with Apollo somewhere. I’m so grateful that between him and Jinxie, Trucy has been so busily preoccupied. It means she hasn’t been feeling too neglected since her Daddy has scarcely been around the last few weeks.”

Phoenix’s cheeks colored slightly as Miles continued to regard him knowingly.

“Is it really bad to confess that Maya and I have been so joined at the hip and rediscovering each other, we’ve sort of holed ourselves off in our own little world until now?” He admitted sheepishly. “And that whenever she has met me after work, it was already so late that we shamelessly took advantage of the Gatewater Hotel being oh-so-conveniently located across the street from my place?”

“I imagine the chambermaids on morning room cleanup duty are truly earning their keep!” The cravat owner replied dryly as the poker champ’s face reddened. “But luckily for you, Wright, your gem of a daughter is probably most understanding about the need for you two to be inseparable after being apart for so long. Maya isn’t going anywhere, and she will surely meet Trucy when the time is right. I’d wager it will be a most memorable event.”

“Speaking of memorable events,” Maya inserted as she returned to the men, her mouth full of Swiss roll. “That reminds me – I have yet to call my little girl and inform her that she and Luke are due for a surprise reunion in less than a week!”

She dug around for her phone in her bursting handbag, sending packets of sweets sailing onto her startled lover’s lap as she attempted to retrieve the item. Waving it triumphantly when she unearthed it, at last, she smilingly hit the speed dial for Pearl’s cell.

A slight frown slowly slid across her visage as the line failed to connect.

“Huh. The call’s not going through for some reason?” The crease in her forehead deepened as she squinted down at the screen. “I can’t seem to get a signal in here! Do I need to look into getting a different cell provider? Or just need to get a brand-new phone altogether?”

“Neither. The reception in this place has always been terrible, Maya. Try standing by the windows near the doors, or stepping outside,” Miles advised. “It’s just because the building foundation is so ancient, and the walls are so thick, they belie cellular technology.”

“Great, I’ll give that a try!” Maya absently tossed her purse at Phoenix, oblivious to his surprised grunt at the unexpected heaviness as it collided against his chest. She grinned back at the magenta-clad man as she sashayed towards the front entrance, mobile in hand. “Thanks, Miles!”

The ex-defense lawyer grimaced as he rubbed his afflicted pectoral area and placed the offending object in the seat beside him.

“What the heck does she carry in there anyway? Bricks? I can’t believe it’s merely the additional snacks causing so much extra heft! You could seriously lift weights with that thing!”

“If Maya’s anything like the other women I’ve known in my life, I’d imagine she carries everything but the kitchen sink within those leather contents,” Miles replied wryly, just as his own cell began to ring at that moment, causing his comrade to blink with surprise.

“Hey, how come your cell gets reception in here, but hers didn’t?”

“Femtocell. It’s a private cellular network exclusively available for the legal and law enforcement staff to have access to, but isn’t accessible to the general public.” The counselor reached into his suit pocket for his phone and clapped it to his ear. “Miles Edgeworth speaking.”

“Greetings, Master Edgeworth.” The refined British intonation of Hendricks, the barrister’s faithful butler, resonated on the line. “I apologize to be disrupting you during the workday, but I had a few matters which I needed to verify. I shall only require a moment of your time.”

“No worries, Hendricks.” Miles remained seated beside Phoenix, unaware of any personal matters that would warrant needing to take this call in private. “What do you need?”

“I wish to inform you that the deliverymen are here with your new bed, sir. As you know, there was a back order on your previous model, the Monarch, due to a large unforeseen demand in London. Wherefore, this is the next model up – the Majesty. The Vispring Company guarantees your deepest satisfaction with this upgrade, and will allow up to a year of use, and still promise a full refund for the $84,425, minus shipping costs. ”

The manservant may have appeared to be reading from a cue card, but Miles was aware that the astute Englishman knew the product particulars memoriter, as the new bed selection had been a personal recommendation to his employer.

“As this item is from my own mother country, I substantiate that Vispring has never strayed from the great pride they take in their craftsmanship. The Majesty is twice as soft as the Monarch and was handcrafted by Jab Anstoez. With more than 6000 springs, each 182 x 200cm in size, it’s made from cotton, cashmere, and silk and is like a dream come true for the bedroom. Exclusive natural fillings: silk, cashmere, blended Platinum Certified real Shetland wool and cotton, hand-opened Mooseburger horsetail. Finest quality ticking and hand-tied woolen tufts and twine. The divan is platinum-certified British fleece wool and horsehair, and it also features several layers of gold and silver in the design.”

“I’m sure it will be fine, Hendricks,” he assured his employee, now speculating if plying him with new mattress trivia was the sole purpose the Brighton gentleman had rung him. “You are a man of quality taste, and I trust your judgement implicitly.”

“Very good, sir.” He could almost hear Hendricks bowing in the background. “Howbeit, I thought I would ring you before I stepped out to procure sheets for your new mattress. Shall I succumb your old divan to the same flaming death via a bonfire of the vanities in the identical manner I did with the previous linens?”

“Not at all,” Miles replied darkly, noticing his very guilty-looking best friend, who’d obviously heard every single word, was now discreetly trying to inch away. “Tell the delivery men to take the Monarch into storage until further notice. It shall be a wedding gift for Wright and Maya, for whenever she decides to make an honest man out of him!”

“You’re giving us your luxury b –bed?” Phoenix gulped nervously, not even trying to pretend he hadn’t overheard everything. “B – but it’s a California King!”

“Yeah, you got a problem with that?” Miles snapped, momentarily forgetting that Hendricks was still on the phone, as he was too busy glaring at the card shark. “I didn’t design the thing!”

“B –but it’ll never fit into my comparatively Lilliputian place!” The DILF protested frantically. “That bed is almost bigger than my whole bedroom in the apartment! I’d prefer not to have to knock out a wall within my humble abode to make that thing fit!”

“Arngh!” The customarily unruffled man was beyond livid at the unfathomable nerve of this jabbering flibbertigibbet! “Your preferences have zero bearings on what is at hand!”

“Wouldn’t it be easier just to get rid of it?”

“It would be a nonsensical waste! I’ll have you know the Monarch is an exclusive London import which set me back $50,000! I refuse to be frivolous and just thoughtlessly dispose of such a top-of-the-line model, considering it’s the very same one favored by world-renowned celebrities, such as David Beckham!”

“Shit fire and save matches!” Phoenix’s jaw hit his chest. “You spent 50 grand on a freaking bed?!”

“Indubitably I did! And I’ll have you know I slept in it for barely a month before I got called away overseas, although since returning home, have been reduced to sleeping in the guest room! And do you want to know why?”

He glowered at his childhood mate.

“For the galling reason that thanks to you and Maya’s yauld frolicking, that glorious divan now has more mileage on it than The Spirit of Saint Louis! You made your squalid bed, Wright, ergo, you must now lie in it!”

Miles clamped his hand down firmly on his friend’s arm to keep him from moving another muscle, thus, preventing him from rising and scampering away, which Phoenix very much appeared wont to do!

“The rationale behind the extravagant price tag is that it boasted 3,420 springs for optimum cushioning. Plus, the mattress was handcrafted and covered with the soft and silken bamboo fiber of the highest quality along with a fine blend of cashmere, mohair, and lamb’s wool!”

While the staggered pianist appeared to be wrapping his head around the fact that he’d someday be in the custody of a mere bed which cost more than what he’d typically made in a whole year as a lawyer, Hendricks discreetly cleared his throat on the other end of the line, reminding his Master of his presence.

“I also wanted to let you know that after three months of tenacious care and a whole lot of elbow grease, I have finally managed to remove every single oil-stained mark from your living room chesterfield.” The butler sounded quite pleased with himself. “This was no small feat, I assure you. It appeared the most persevering of smears were attributed to a heart-shaped variety, which would be indicative of belonging to a female posterior, sir.”

The pianist felt the blood drain from his mien upon hearing this, as memories of the hobo’s unwitting webcam confession during their Skype call with Miles and Franziska came rushing back to both men at the same instant.

“What’s with the innocent denial act, all of a sudden, Little Miss Insatiable? You’re the one who jumped me right here on this very sofa…”

“Nnngrrrrk!” Miles recoiled at the reminder of the rampant defiling regarding one of his most prized possessions. “Hendricks, do you mean to tell me there were visible sweat imprints, made by a bare woman’s buttocks… upon my priceless Italian leather sofa?!”

“Verily, sir, I regret to confirm this.”

“Ngh! Is there no way to dispose of my poor, grossly desecrated furniture and place an order for a new one, post haste?!”

“I would, Master Edgeworth, but this was an exclusive chair and sofa lounge group from Italy. The Maralunga set was custom-built by the globally acclaimed, but now-deceased, Italian designer, Vico Magistretti. The waiting list for the coveted leather alone would be at least a decade, given the Mad Cow influx that overcame Europe a few years back, not to mention the intricate tanning process and handmade construction required as well.”

Hendricks clucked sympathetically at his employer’s soft whimper as he recited this abysmal news with his customary stiff upper lip aplomb.

“I give you my word, sir, the cushions are once again restored to their initial pristine state and appear as good as new now that I’ve removed the aforementioned second, smaller set of burdensome splotches. They were only slightly more indefatigable than the larger twin set. Those were shaped more like a rounded, inverted-V shape, presumably belonging to male hindquarters.”

“God save the Queen!” The DA muttered under his breath as he looked daggers at the sweat-dropping poker shark. “I’ll kill this man, I swear it…”

Phoenix was now wriggling vainly against the prosecutor’s vice grip on his arm as Miles remained inwardly fuming.

“Master Edgeworth, are you still there?” Hendricks inquired politely after several more moments of silence on the line. “I apologize if this update caused a kerfuffle of sorts. I hadn’t intended for you to be completely shaken out of the norm.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” The aghast attorney struggled to speak and tightened his fingers menacingly around his companion’s forearm. “I’m perfectly fine!”

Phoenix fruitlessly struggled against Miles’s grasp a second time.

“I should go see what’s keeping Maya on the phone!” He shrank back against the withering glare he was presently being subjected to. “If you’ll just excuse me for a moment…”

“Can the antics, Wright!” The erstwhile Demon Prosecutor growled, stiffening his hold, then returning to his manservant. “On the topic of disposal, Hendricks … At this point, I’m sorely tempted to say let’s try to compact Mr. Wright here, and see if we can’t fit him in the rubbish bin!”

Now it was the former Ace Attorney’s turn to whimper, and the prosecutor’s eyes turned into tiny slits.

“Is there something of value that you’d like to say, you boorish buffoon?”

“Er, I’m sorry?” Phoenix smiled weakly. “Like, really, really sorry? And um, please… don’t  kill me?”

“Is that Mr. Wright with you at the moment, Master Edgeworth?” Hendricks’ tone was rich with amusement. “If you would be so kind as to enquire of him if there are any particular parts of the place I should pay special attention to? Need I re-glaze the bathtub in the Master and/or guest lavatories, utilize steam cleaning on certain areas of the carpeting, or get specialty shampoo for the bearskin rug by the hearth, because of too much bare skin rubbing against it? Ho-ho!”

“Wright.” Miles gritted his teeth. “Is there any existing part of my house that has not been sullied by your hedonistic deviancy?”

The hobo took one glimpse at his friend’s strained features and concluded he was mentally strangling him.

“I – I’m not sure, as my faulty memory fails me, at present.” The pianist scratched the back of his neck and gave a sickly grin. “M – Maya and I broke up over a year ago, so I haven’t been back at your place since early 2025…”

“Then why are you stammering like you just flew over a cuckoo’s nest!?” The legal eagle challenged scathingly. “Do I need to burn the sheets in the guest room as well?”

“Nooo….” Phoenix ducked his head – but not quickly enough.

“Then why are you smirking like that when you say it!?” Miles’s accusing eyes narrowed even further. “Can I  still safely eat off my dining table or not? And am I able to place my feet on that Germany-imported bearskin rug – without first needing to disinfect?!”

Red-hot memories of Maya jingling his bells as they writhed and thrashed by the roaring fireplace the Christmas before last flashed through Phoenix’s mind, and he yanked his beanie down low to hide his incriminating countenance.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to treat that rug?” He mumbled. “Um, the tables are safe though … I think?”

“Bloody hell, libidinous alley cats in heat practice more discretion than you two incorrigibly lubricous animals!” Miles grumbled disgustedly. “I deduced my bed would be a given write-off when I offered my flat, but at this point, I’m half tempted to set my entire tainted condo ablaze and purchase a new one with the insurance money! By the by, did you hear that Hendricks? While you’re out shopping for new bedding – Mulberry silk as usual – please buy some specialty cleanser for all the carpeting, as well.”

“Jolly good then,” Hendricks agreed amiably. “I shall add that to my list, and keep it on hand for negotiating my raise when you return for supper tonight! You are coming home for this evening’s meal, aren’t you, sir?”

Miles sighed in resignation. He should have expected as much.

“Yes, I should be home by or before 6 this evening,” he replied defeatedly. “And I suppose tonight will be as good as any to discuss your much-deserved salary increase, Hendricks.”

“I shall prepare a superlative steak and kidney for tonight’s menu.” The butler seemed positively chipper now. “Moreover, I shall ensure you have the proper wine pairing to accompany it. I took the liberty of contacting The Westin Bonaventure and was put through to Mr. Lee Vatipp, of LA Prime. The restaurant regularly boasts the annual winning of the prestigious Wine Spectator Award of Excellence. After some shrewd arbitrations, the maître d’hôtel agreed to part with a case of their exclusive Portuguese vintage port, to replace the bottle that seems to have gone… astray.”

“Brilliant. Thank you for that, Hendricks.”

“What can I say? I’m simply one hell of a butler!” The manservant chortled. “My regards to Mr. Wright, and yourself, Master Edgeworth. I shall ring off now. Cheerio!”

The cravat owner pursed his lips as he ended the call and dropped his phone back into his pocket, his fiery gaze practically boring holes into Phoenix’s mug the entire time.

“So…” the other man offered weakly. “Great news overall and two hips and a hurray for Hendricks! There’s nothing that mirific butler of yours can’t achieve, huh? I mean, a whole case of imported vintage! Good stuff!”

“Wright,” the tea drinker spoke in a dangerously soft voice. “I want you to answer this for me, and depending on the answer, I may let you live.”

“Ask me no questions, I tell you no lies?” The Baron of Bluffing joked feebly as he affixed his most benign expression.

“Are you finally going to profess the truth about my missing bottle of port?” Miles’s tone was still even, although his orbs were steel flints. “Or are you going to maintain it grew a pair of legs and walked away on its own…”

“Hey, guys! Sorry to be gone so long!”

Maya bounced over from out of nowhere and smilingly plopped herself right down beside Phoenix, while the barrister mentally swore a blue streak at the Kurain Master’s mistimed interruption – yet again!

How can she possibly keep having the uncanny knack to save her other half’s neck from the noose, at the 11th hour, every time, after all these years?! If I didn’t know better, I would think she was doing it on purpose!

“Pearly was over the moon when I told her about Europe!” Maya gushed, her eyes sparkling. “My little fashion diva in training has a yen to buy a whole new wardrobe for this trip! She’s still flip-flopping on the decision to surprise Luke about her pending arrival, or give him a heads up to ensure his schedule is cleared.”

“That’s so adorable!” Phoenix wrapped an arm around his savior’s shoulders and tried not to show his obvious relief at her impeccable arrival. “Pearls deserves to seize any opportunity she gets to act like a normal teenage girl!”

“Indeed,” Miles nodded stiffly, still rankled by the call with Hendricks. “Incidentally Maya, I should have told you to inform Pearl that she will be my preferred trip seatmate – within our own cordoned section of the plane, en route to Europe, as well as returning! Furthermore, our seats shall be as far away from you and Wright as possible – because enduring a 10-and-a-half-hour flight with you two PDA fiends will make me more nauseated than the sub-par haute cuisine at Armstrong’s failed French restaurant ever did!”

Flashing a laconic smirk at the stupefied, gaping couple, he then glanced up as Gumshoe strode towards them, making a thumbs-up gesture at his friends as he approached.

“Wright, Maya, it appears the time has arrived for us to go visit our favorite inmate.”

“Clearance granted, pals!” The big man announced with a broad grin. “Sorry about the delay. I got accosted by a call from Chief Prosecutor Payne, who’s on the warpath already! That scum bum was giving me a hard time because how could I dare not be there at the precinct when he decided to spring a visit on us today! The former Rookie Killer had decided to grace us with not only his presence but was eager to introduce the department to his supposed big-shot prosecutor brother from New York. I had to shoot Ema a text to give her a heads up about a dose of double Payne in the rear coming her way!”

“Payne? As in Winston Payne?” The DILF goggled at the police Chief in disbelief. “I thought Edgeworth was going to be Chief Prosecutor? What’s that little shit weasel doing in office?”

“Relax pal, it’s only interim until Mr. Edgeworth takes over,” Gumshoe reassured him. “That lame booger burger just loves trying to hurl his crusty butt nuggets around, for all the good it does him! Don’t worry, nothing’s gonna change! Nobody respected him before, and they sure as heck aren’t going to now, no matter how much that dweeby wedgie bomb throws out his vocal cords whining, shrieking, and demanding it!”

He was met with three sets of dumbfounded, gawping eyes.

“Lame booger burger?!” Maya repeated incredulously at the same time Phoenix chimed in with “crusty butt nuggets?!” and Miles ended with “dweeby wedgie bomb?!”

“Hey pals, don’t judge a man of two impressionable house apes for trying to keep the slang PG!” Gumshoe laughed good-naturedly. “My boys are starting to mimic everything Maggey and I say more than Polly the Parrot ever did, so we try to keep it semi-clean, and it’s just force of habit now! You think it’s anyone’s reflex to stub their toe and shout, ‘oh, sugar’?!”

The four shared a rousing collective guffaw.

“Winston Payne is Chief Prosecutor.” Phoenix gave a mock shudder. “This truly is the Dark Age of Law! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but for once I’m glad that I’m not a lawyer right now! I can think of several things I’d rather do than have to pay any kind of homage to that turd fondler! I’d rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks. Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue. I’d rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue…”

“Eweth! Mondo Grosso, Nick!” The laughing spirit medium gave her beau a playful shove. “You won’t need to worry about dealing with that sphincter boil because by the time we get your name cleared and you get your badge back, Miles will be Chief Prosecutor, just as always intended! So you can stop channeling your inner Weird Al Yankovic!”

“I may have gotten you guys clearance, but our jailbird wasn’t forewarned about your visit,” Gumshoe informed them with a jaunty grin as they headed down to the cells. “I thought the element of surprise would make things much more interesting!”

“No doubt!” Maya rubbed her hands together gleefully, like a cartoon villain. “I don’t have any young kids around, so I have no problem saying this: I have so eagerly been looking forward to the day when karma dry humps that bony ass with a cactus, without even using any hot sauce for lube!”

The Master had spoken louder than intended and hadn’t realized they’d already reached their destination, until Gumshoe abruptly halted his gait in front of a lone, isolated cell, causing the unprepared woman to crash her face into his brawny back. As she rubbed her slightly sore nose, the Chief moved out of the way, and Maya found herself face-to-face with the inmate, who was staring at her hatefully, clearly having heard every word.

Phaya and Friends vs. The Dragon Lady
Prison, Special Cell
July 12, 2026, 3:30 PM

“Ah, Maya Fey, as classy as ever I see,” the prisoner spat contemptuously, not even bothering to preface the Master’s name with the term Mystic. “Truly, Kurain truly could not have been bestowed a more respectable, dignified … lady to be in charge of their village. Although, considering the ne’er-do-well company you have so publicly announced you’re keeping…”

Her beady-eyed, scornful gaze then fell upon her enemy’s beau, who stood right beside the spirit medium.

“…I would say it’s par for the course.”

Maya’s hands curled into fists at this unanticipated onslaught toward her swain. While she could handle any sort of belliferous barbs her bête noire had to dish out, their mutual antipathy was strictly between them alone, and she refused to tolerate such ilk subjected at her Nick! She opened her mouth to utter a blistering retort but felt him squeeze her hand reassuringly. To her amazement, unlike all the previous times he’d been subjected to the wyvern’s acrimony, Phoenix didn’t look at all fazed.

Instead, he was flat-out cracking up!

The act of his lover’s arch-nemesis attempting to talk down to him, even now, despite being behind bars, and somehow looking more decrepit than ever in her acherontic, oversized prison garb, which only emphasized her skeletal frame, literally made Phoenix double over. How was it he’d ever allowed this atrabilious basilisk’s words to have any sort of pernicious effect on him, ever?! His gales of unrepressed mirth caused the harpy’s knurled fingers to clench impotently at her cell bars in helpless fury as she saw his merrymaking reaction.

“My, my, Dragon Lady.” In recognition of her pitiful attempts to jab him with her forked tongue, the tickled pianist treated Mildred Latrine to the mother of all shit-eating grins. “Aren’t we two scoops of grumpy in a bowl of bitchy this afternoon?”

“I believe the next lunch you’ll be eating is humble pie!” Miles inserted sardonically. “Assuming, of course, you’re amenable to what we have to say to you.”

“However have you managed the mind-boggling achievement of fossilizing by another century, merely within the past month, Jurassic one?” Maya cooed with poisonous sweetness, her impish leer rivaling her boyfriend’s as she observed the bloodshot, puffy eyes of the glaring harridan. “Seriously, Mildew, I’ve seen fewer bags at the airport!”

Mildred lifted her head fully to show a ghastly phizog, bloodshot pallid eyes, and bloodless lips.

“You expect me to be winning some sort of beauty contest when I haven’t slept in a month, you sadistic fiend? Do you have any idea what happens to the human brain when it is not allowed the restfulness of slumber? It’s the premise of how most horror movies are made! There’s only so long the main hero can go without a rested mind before he snaps and turns homicidal! Before he feels like the shampoo bottle instructions are starting to give him advice in the shower, or he starts to see hooded aliens in the streets! I would describe my insomnia as similar to being jacked up on uppers all night, but without any of the fun!”

Miles, Phoenix, and Maya simply stared at her uncomprehendingly for several moments, confused about this out-of-the-blue, dramatic outpouring.

“I do believe all this time in confinement has caused the lady, and I use that term quite loosely, to have taken complete leave of her senses!” Miles spoke at last. “It’s no wonder she’s been in isolation all this time. I reckon the other criminals found her shenanigans as unpalatable as the rest of us, Gumshoe?”

Before the Chief could answer, the former village elder turned the full force of her baleful glare to the stoical lawyer.

“Put a sock in it, you frilly coxcomb!” She screeched, her pruny face twisted into a snarl as she pointed a gaunt finger at the unimpressed Miles. “What would you know about the hardship of being caged like an animal? You’ve probably never endured any sort of destitution in your life! Just look at you! Your nails and eyebrows are more meticulously manicured than even Maya’s, and I know you must shop at the same dandy man boutiques as that flouncy, fussy popinjay she almost married! What kind of respectable professional walks around wearing pink?!”

Miles clenched his jaw. This wretched she-thing dared compare his refined magenta suit to the loud, outrageous apparel the hair heir?!

And what, pray tell, is so wrong with wanting to keep oneself – including their hands – well-groomed?! How else am I supposed to prevent the build-up of calluses from all that bench slamming?!

The normally unruffled DA gritted his teeth as he attempted to quell his rising temper – truly, this Xanthippe could have made even the sainted Mother Theresa homicidal!

“Ms. Latrine,” he ground. “First of all, you can take that finger and point it at your own head! Additionally …”

Before he could continue, Maya jumped to his defense.

“Where do you get off, insulting my significant other and my friend, in my presence, you miserable, dilapidated battle-axe?” The Master angrily puffed out her cheeks. “I’ll have you know that despite his looks, Miles Edgeworth has informally been known as the panty-dropping prosecutor amongst the vast female population for well over a decade now!”

Panty-dropping prosecutor?! The barrister ogled his best friend’s future wife in shock. D-Do I really inspire this sort of frothing desire from the female masses?! Wait…what else did my impromptu defense attorney say just now?!

“Despite my looks?” He crossed his arms and eyed the psychic huffily. “And just what is wrong with the way I look?!”

“Nothing at all!” She soothed, patting him on his shoulder. “Pearly and I both agree that you’ve only gotten more cute-iful with age!”

“Cute-iful?!” Miles echoed, not knowing whether or not this was mollifying or mortifying for a High Prosecutor in his 30s to be called! “Maya, where on earth did you –?”

“Pals, we’re getting off-topic here,” Gumshoe cut in, his lips twitching. “The inmate wasn’t always in isolation. But we had to move the other prisoners because they were also complaining, like she is, about the constant noise affecting their sleep, as well.”

“Noise?” Maya echoed, looking at the empty cells around her. “What noise?”

The answer came just then, from the 32-inch TV mounted directly above their heads on the wall behind them, right across from Mildred’s cell.

Know all about, yeah, ’bout your reputation
And now it’s bound to be a heartbreak situation
But I can’t help it if I’m helpless
Every time that I’m where you are…

Spinning around, the friends all turned around to view Maya, in full performer glory, belting her heart out to the lyrics of “The Right Kind of Wrong” at Larry and Iris’s wedding reception.

Mildew’s eyeballs went wild and crazed, like a Bedlam patient.

“Great gobs of goose-shit!” The traumatized barracuda screamed, clapping her hands against her ears. “Not again! Pull the lever! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stawwwwwwp!”

“Um, that noise? Well, since Jesse Ventura, the now wildly successful videographer, has been swamped, what with being the one to make your pop-stop debut go viral, my wife took the editing of Larry and Iris’s wedding video off his hands! The lucky newlyweds get an edited and raw copy of the wedding footage!”

The Chief’s shoulders shook with mirth.

“Maggey had a blast inserting some blooper and Looney Tune sound effects, including the slide whistle noise when Lotta slipped on her heinie and lost her hair! This special copy, personalized for our little jailbird, is prefaced with the commencing of Phoenix being serenaded, then goes on to play the entire uncut wedding video, including everything before the ceremony, like Iris’s Whitney Houston debut. It shows all subsequent events on that unforgettable day, from the ceremony, toasts, speeches, last dance …and then the Leann Rimes tribute, one more time, for good measure!”

“As if being coerced into viewing the happy faces of everyone I loathe, over and over again, wasn’t penalty enough…” Yzma incarnate bellyached spitefully. “I then had to endure listening to Maya’s putrid love song, again and again…”

“Wait a minute.” Miles held up his hand. “When you say everything that transpired that day, would this also include that precise instant with the Big Berry Circus primates? The one where Jylan lifted his tail and…”

“But of course!” Gumshoe declared proudly, smothering back a snort. “This version also included every second of Jesse’s little two-bit narrations too, including for Phoenix’s Objection! As for the Jylan highlight – that part gets played and replayed in slow motion a few times! Maggey also created and amplified the sublime resonance of monkey flatus to come out sounding like a groaning, dying tuba!”

Maya couldn’t find the words to speak … possibly because she was laughing so hard, she had to lean on Phoenix for support.

All the while, Mildew was squawking loudly in protest, rambling something along the lines of “cruel and unusual punishment,” “sleep depravity because of non-stop 24/7 loop” and “I would sue these evil sadists if I had the lawyer… or money!”

“Objection!” Gumshoe interjected although he was sniggering maniacally. “It is not 24/7! The video does have five-minute intervals! I have some mercy! Besides, does really it count as cruel and unusual punishment when you get to listen to a lark voice like my good pal Maya’s?”

“It is for me!” Mildred shrieked. “Never in my life have I ever prayed for deafness more than I have since I’ve locked up! The humanity! After everything, I did try to preserve the good name of Kurain, in hopes of restoring it to its days of glory…this… weak-willed strumpet just decides to publicly thumb her nose at her entire family legacy! She opted to disgrace it once more by waving her unquenchable lust for this no-goodnik … Nick of hers!”

Her nostrils flared.

“My sole regret is not getting to see firsthand, like a row of dominoes, the fall of Kurain Village under your depraved leadership, Maya Fey!”

The spirit medium stopped her wild fit of laughter long enough to wipe her now-streaming eyes, then smothered back a new set of fresh giggles at her enemy’s eruption.

“What’s so damn hysterical?!” Mildred demanded, stamping her foot.

“You are!” Maya gasped in between wheezes. “Mildew I swear, hand over heart, honest to God, you are the biggest joke of all! I’m not even sure what’s funnier – you, or your pathetic attempts to curse me and my village!”

She smiled smugly and looked down her nose at her rival.

“Sure, I lost some business after I decided to publicly stand by my man. Consequently, I was unceremoniously dropped like a hot potato by both the La Nouvelle Société de Vanderbilt and the Daughters of the Confederacy. I could care less about either, as the former is naught more than a bunch of wannabe socialites and would-be debutantes who aspire to be as famous as the Vanderbilt women in upper-crust society, but are nothing more than shallow, money-grubbing social climbers! As if I wish to align myself with mercenary types who think anyone without some sort of blue blood or pedigree is crass or unworthy! As for the latter, they claimed they simply cannot support my alliance with a damn Yankee – I believe that bothered them more than Nick’s alleged forgery! They can choke on their Mint Julep Sweet Tea for all I can be bothered!”

“You lost that prestigious Society Club and the DOC?!” Mildred’s mug blanched. “Are you proud of yourself now, you shameless harlot, for waving your tawdry affair about like some sort of parade flag?! Those Southern Belles were amongst our oldest and most reputable clientele!”

“And they were always trying to wriggle discounts because of it!” Maya snapped. “But let me tell you this – there’s no such thing as bad publicity. For your kind information, the only other thing I regrettably lost was a record deal that was offered to me by the son of the legendary music producer, Clive Davis! He was so impressed by my performance he offered to make me the next pop star, but there’s no way I could manage music and my more thriving than ever business as Master of Kurain!”

“More – thriving?” Mildred repeated weakly, her face falling. “But how?! How is that even possible?!”

“Exposure my dear,” Maya responded with a cheeky grin. “Thanks to you and your attempted swindling, Kurain has gotten more publicity than I ever could have dreamed of! Once we recovered all the funds you tried to rip off Longines, that altruistic paragon decided to let us donate the money – since he has no need for it, what with being richer than God – to various charities. Most notably, widows and orphan organizations! Not only is that additional income a legitimate Kurain tax write-off, but all these grateful organizations insist our generosity be highlighted regularly in the headlines!”

The old hag looked slightly queasy now and turned a shade of viridian which would have made an actual dragon proud as the Master continued.

“Why, if you hadn’t plotted your self-serving attempted alliance with Longines, Iris never would have learned to channel! And Mystic Ami help me, I would be utterly lost without my dear cousin, as she, Pearly, and I have been booked solid for spirit channeling – and cabin rentals! We’ve even had to step-up training for our acolytes to meet the increased demands of this new clientele who, thanks to that viral stream of mine, believe in the power of faith…and love, more than ever! To think I owe almost all of it to you, dear Millie girl!”

Maya tilted her head to the side and beamed sunnily as she concluded, in a voice dripping with honey.

“So! How do you like them apples?”

“I think I’m going to be sick to my stomach!” The harridan groaned, swaying slightly. “Are prisoners given the privilege of barf bags, Chief Gumtree?”

“It’s Gumshoe, and no. They can toss their cookies in their cell latrine, just like everyone else! Among other uses, that is what it’s there for!”

“It certainly isn’t a wishing well!” Miles couldn’t resist adding. “Besides, you can’t be ill just yet, madam. Wright and Maya tell me they have an offer you can’t refuse.”

“Well, technically you could,” Phoenix grinned mischievously. “But the alternative is never seeing the light of day again. Although a much-deserved fate for you, that may be an avoidable fate for you, Dragon Lady … assuming Mr. High Prosecutor agrees to it.”

“Offer?” Mildred observed the grinning trio suspiciously. “What offer?”

“Since the business has been booming, not only do we have more clientele than we can handle, we have a foreign investor who wants to help us expand by funding an off-site training center in Asia. You tell her more, Nick.”

Phoenix eyed his girlfriend strangely upon hearing this preluding description but elaborated as requested.

“Like Maya just said, my boss at the bar wants to open up a – training center. We need someone, no matter how ultracrepidarian they are, who is at least well versed in knowledge, if not practice about the Kurain Channeling Technique, to manage it.”

“In your case, it’s perfectly fine that you’ve forever been in the habit of advising on matters you truly know diddly squat about, like channeling!” Maya chirped. “As they say, those who can’t do, teach! You can be our proof of that!”

Miles raised an eyebrow. He was quite familiar with not only the undergoing shady activities at The Borscht Bowl but of its owner, Boris Badenov, aka Upton O’Goode. When he’d mildly inquired about the details of how likely it was that the suspected Russian mobster would be using this new center as a front for the smuggling of contraband in and out of the country, Phoenix had advised the prosecutor that it’d be in all their best interests to play dumb. The fewer questions they asked, the better, considering the bar owner was about as genuine as a $3 bill!

“Nick’s boss will take care of your transportation and everything, Mildred!” Maya enthused, clasping her hands to her chest. “Think of this as a work program… in place of a jail sentence! It’ll save the taxpayers and courts the time and money of a lengthy trial and conviction, so it’s a win-win! What say you, Miles?”

“I can’t see how Ms. Latrine has a choice,” he responded coolly. “But then again, I also couldn’t see how she thought marrying you off to a closet-case billionaire was going to help your village live long and prosper either! No objections on my end, with the further stipulation that the accused be subjected to an unmovable tracking device.”

“There’s one thing that makes no sense to me,” Mildred said guardedly, pointing at Phoenix. “Which is, why would the boss of a man who hates me, just as much as I hate him, be willing to do me any favors?”

“Nick’s a saint! He’s not the type to hold a grudge, and everyone knows it!” Maya winked at her swain. “Besides, we told his employer that you were his future wife’s relative, so it would be a favor for the family.”

“How in the name of Satan’s jockstrap did you guys convince anyone that Miss Scary Beyond All Reason was in any way, shape, or form related to you, Maya?” Gumshoe sounded amazed. “Or even part of the same species?! This She-Thing is irrefutable proof that dinosaurs once roamed the earth!”

“You know, just because I said I wished I were deaf, thanks to the hellacious torture you subjected me to, it doesn’t mean I actually can’t hear you, you big, stupid shaved ape!” Mildred scowled at the slightly chastened-looking Chief.

Maya narrowed her eyes at her nemesis for this rudeness, then smiled even more brightly.

“We merely claimed to Nick’s boss that Millie girl is my third cousin’s brother’s wife’s step-niece’s great aunt. Twice removed! Also, Mr. Boss Man will provide a BB Gun and wants you to feel free to shoot at any flying squirrels you may come across, Mildred! For some reason, he really can’t stand those bushy-tailed critters!”

“Or moose!” Phoenix mumbled under his breath, but the psychic shushed him.

“Whereabouts in Asia would they have flying squirrels?” Mildred wanted to know.

“Some remote, quiet place…you can’t teach spirit channeling in a noisy, crowded area! The name escapes me…” Maya tapped her chin and appeared to be in deep recollection. “Somewhere out in Suburbia or something?”

“I take it there’s no geography test required to become the Master?” Mildred queried snidely, twisting her thin lips. “You never did learn how to read a map, did you?”

If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ, you gnarled, gullible gecko! The village leader thought cynically but kept her beaming visage intact.

“Nope, never bothered!” Maya chirped. “That’s what a GPS is for! What I do know is that this place is nice, peaceful, and surrounded by beautiful wildlife! Don’t worry, there are absolutely no monkeys there! I checked!”

No, just leopards, and tigers and bears … oh, myyyy! Phoenix mentally added while barely biting back a snicker, but wisely keeping silent.

“If I agree to this deal… how soon will I be out of this dank, urine-soaked hell-hole?” Mildred was restlessly hopping from one foot to another. “And how long will I have to stay there?”

“Well, I was going to have you imprisoned for life, but I rather like this better. I’ll have the official files say that you’re part of outplacement and that we’re going in a different direction with you,” Miles told her. “I can agree to drop all charges and negotiate a minimum sentence of 15 years … 10 for good behavior. You’ll be released as soon as we get the paperwork together and get it signed by a judge, so no more than a week.”

The old woman looked so genuinely relieved at this supposed reprieve that Maya almost considered changing her plans. Almost, but not quite.

“And to show that there are no hard feelings, I’m going to turn off this video for the rest of your stay here so you can get some rest at last.” Gumshoe reached up and switched off the TV, just as Mildred was forced to watch Jylan emit a blast of noxious gas in her face for the umpteenth time.

“So that’s it for now,” Maya concluded, affixing her most angelic smile. “I’m not sure when or if we’ll cross paths before you are… let go, and your life goes in a different direction, so… I guess this is it! It’s been a real… experience knowing you, Mildred Latrine. I know my singing voice is forever embedded in your mind, but perhaps after everything is said and done…you’ll never forget my name, either. Toodles!”

She sailed off before her adversary could reply, Gumshoe at her side, leaving Phoenix and Miles behind at the cell, with Mildred staring at the two men expectantly.

“Er…” The attorney cleared his throat. “Enjoy your sleep – and your energy, while you can. After all, tomorrow is another day.”

Phoenix bit back a grin, and Miles belatedly realized he’d unwittingly unleashed his hidden penchant for Gone With The Wind, for which he internally cursed Maya, for having brought up the Daughters of the Confederacy! Flushing slightly, Miles tried again.

“Er, for what it’s worth, just remember humans don’t live forever… and neither do lawyers. I’ll see you again in a week or less, Ms. Latrine. Good day.”

Then he stepped back and shoved his hands in his pockets, and two sets of eyes then swiveled to Phoenix.

The pianist wracked his brain, at a loss for words in uttering a memorable parting line as he stared blankly at the vicious tarragon who’d made it her mission to make their lives a living hell the past seven years.

Somehow saying: “Don’t worry, I promise that I will always hate you, to infinity and beyond!” Didn’t quite fit the mensch image Maya had just portrayed of him!

“Farewell, Mildred,” he said at last. “Remember not to take any advice, or directions, from squirrels.”

Then he all but ran out of there.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean you, barb-headed hobo?!” Mildew shouted after Phoenix’s retreating form, but to no avail, as the pianist had booked it out of there as fast as he could – he didn’t think he could hold a straight face for another minute!

Miles followed suit, albeit at a much slower, more dignified pace.

The men caught up with Maya and Gumshoe by the exit and saw the two friends clutching one another and laughing uproariously.

“S-Suburbia?” The Chief was howling. “Training school?”

“Training…trading, what’s the difference?” Maya waved her hand airily. “Besides, it’s better she thinks I’m a ditz who can’t remember where her final destination will be, rather than tell her that the Asian place, where she’s going to be in charge of a trading post, is actually in Siberia!”

“I can’t believe the old toe rag fell for it!” Phoenix chuckled ruthlessly. “I double-checked with Boris what the chances of her escaping were, armed with nothing but a BB gun, and he told me she’d be a sitting duck. Where the remote trading post is stationed, civilization is about 150 to 200 miles by foot and is surrounded by nothing but wilderness. There’s little chance of her getting more than a mile away from her cabin in the woods before her tracker would let off an alert, or she got lost in the endless forest and thus died as a wizened vanilla Popsicle!”

“Or, my personal favorite, she becomes dinner to wolves, an Amur Leopard, an East Siberian Brown Bear, or a Siberian tiger and curses my name as the last thing on her lips!” Maya’s shoulders shook with mirth. “Subjecting Mildew to such a place makes me almost feel pity … for the poor wildlife over there! Hee!”

“Such a shame the Dragon Lady can’t create the required flames which would help keep her warm during the subarctic winters averaging negative 40 Celsius!” Miles remarked wryly. “Who says it can’t snow in hell? Because it can last for up six months after falling in the frigid location that wretched woman shall be spending her remaining days, all the while fretting about what new lurking horrors await her tomorrow!”

“It’s just like you said, Scarlet O’Hara,” Phoenix teased his best friend, who glowered back in response. “Tomorrow is another day, right?”

“Mock me if you will for quoting a classic piece of literature if you wish, Wright,” Miles responded loftily. “But there is truth in what I speak. You never know what tomorrow may bring.”

Miles Edgeworth and Ema Skye
Criminal Affairs
July 12, 2026, 5:15 PM

Phoenix and Maya had been in high spirits now that the whole burdensome debacle with the Dragon Lady had been tied up into a neat little bow. The giddy couple had announced that they’d be dropping by The Borscht Bowl Club to let Boris and Natasha know Mildred Latrine had accepted – albeit under thinly veiled circumstances – the offer to manage their boondocks business in “Suburbia.” The twosome wanted to celebrate the occasion, even inviting Gumshoe and Miles to join them.

The Chief had declined, as he still had some matters to take care of back at the precinct, and the prosecutor had opted to give the cozy duo some alone time (hoping that if they got most of the schmoopiness out of their system now, they’d be more bearable whilst traveling to Europe!). Miles had informed his friends that he’d be starting work on the Latrine file and had requested Gumshoe drop him back at the Prosecutor’s Office first, on their way back from the detention center.

Phoenix had called the Russian bar to confirm whether or not the owners were there yet, and was informed that they wouldn’t be in until a little bit later in the evening. When Maya had slyly suggested to her beau that they head back to his place and find “some way to occupy themselves for another few hours!” Miles had been beyond relieved to see he’d made the right decision to not be the third wheel with the lovable but cavity-inducing sweethearts!

As he neatly filed away the paperwork into his desk drawer, he peeked out his office window and saw Ema’s telltale yellow Volkswagen beetle was still in their shared parking lot adjacent to the precinct.

He felt strangely guilty about the fact that the Detective had been left to fend for herself against Double Payne that afternoon. Also, as he hadn’t seen much of Ema since arriving back in town, and she hadn’t surfaced when he’d dropped by the police station earlier, Miles at least wanted to inform her in person that he’d be leaving the country yet again, and decided to drop in on her on his way home.

When he approached Ema’s office door five minutes later, he found the petite policewoman sitting at her desk, idly tapping her chin with her index while staring off into space, with what could only be described as a morose expression on her pretty face.

Standing in the open doorway, he studied the lines of her troubled visage, slightly disarrayed mane, and cloudy demeanor. While the Skye sisters didn’t look alike in the traditional sense, with the younger sibling being more baby-faced compared to the more vixenish features of his ex, their coloring was identical, from their hair to their fair complexions to their beautiful teal orbs. Something stirred within him as he quietly stepped into the room, still unnoticed, and saw the unmistakable sadness within those wide, expressive eyes.

Lana’s eyes.

The young woman seated before him had no inkling of his sordid, tumultuous past with her sister or the fact that in the end, Miles had possibly hurt Lana just as much as she had hurt him. But for some strange reason, the sight of Ema’s dejected face stirred a strange, protective emotion within him. Although things with Lana had been a mess, he felt further compelled to at least have a peaceful bond with her younger sister, for whom he’d always felt the similar brotherly affection that he did with Kay.

“Will I ever be happy?” Ema asked the silence, still unaware of her unanticipated visitor, her voice bleak.

“That’s up to you,” Miles replied quietly, finally announcing his presence. “Will you let yourself be?”

She let out a startled gasp and jolted forward in her chair, which she had been leaning back on, her fair cheeks turning bright red to have been busted in the act of talking to herself.

“Prosecutor Edgeworth!” She awkwardly tucked an errant strand of chestnut hair behind her ear, still blushing furiously at looking so foolish before her teen idol. “Sorry! I um, I didn’t notice you were here. How can I help you?”

“Relax, Detective Skye.” There was a hint of amusement in his normally reserved tone, which he couldn’t mask for the life of him. The flustered brunette was quite endearing as she nervously reached into her everlasting supply of Snackoos and popped one into her mouth. “I’m here on entirely informal, off-the-record business. I was told that you met with interim Chief Prosecutor Payne today along with his brother. How did that go? What was your impression?”

There was a pregnant pause.

“Before I answer that question, did you really mean what you just said, Prosecutor Edgeworth?” The science enthusiast asked hesitantly. “You’re looking for me to answer your question candidly because this is and shall remain strictly off the record?”

Miles nodded.

“Then with all due respect, I can only tell you that regarding the Payne brothers, they, along with the rest of their family presumably must be able to trace back their original ancestral roots not to apes, as Darwin believed, but to porcupines – because they’re both a couple of pricks!”

Historically, Ema Skye had always been so helpful, congenial, and well-behaved around him. Therefore, this impromptu outburst was so out of the blue that Miles couldn’t hold back the uncharacteristic burst of surprised laughter that escaped his lips. She smiled apologetically in response and shrugged.

“Don’t get me wrong! I could deal with Winston Payne on his own, no problem! But his brother Gaspen is really… Something else.” She grimaced at the mere mention of the new prosecutor’s name. “The elder sibling is most definitely the lesser of two evils whereas with the younger one… All I can say is there is a land somewhere called Douche Bhagistan and he is their king!”

Miles nearly laughed again at the quip but didn’t wish to appear to be the sort that condoned this sort of unseemly gossip, so instead treated the Detective to one of his elusive smiles.

“It’s most unfortunate that your first impression was not the best one, Detective Skye, but I promise you there is nil need for you to ever suffer any sort of indignity at either one of their hands. In my absence, Prosecutor Gavin will undoubtedly be supportive of you, should anything go askew.”

At the mention of her boss, Ema visibly flinched, and the same flicker of pain Miles had spotted when he’d first set eyes upon her face resurfaced once more, although was quickly replaced by a forced smile.

“I’m sure Prosecutor Gavin has other, more important things on his mind than resolving petty squabbles.” Even though her lips were curved upward, Miles could see that the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “However, the point is moot. In my particular line of work, since I already have an attorney assigned to me, I don’t foresee my paths crossing very often with either one of the two gentlemen in question.”

The prosecutor surveyed her strained features, suddenly wishing he owned a magatama, as he was positive he would’ve seen Psycho Locks appearing the moment Klavier’s name had been mentioned, and instinctively knew the German had something to do with Ema’s morose state.

“Well, be that as it may, I must reiterate that you are a very valued member of the LAPD, and I want you to always feel that you are working in a fair and harassment-free environment. As I mentioned, even if I am not around, please note that your first line of defense is Chief Gumshoe, who will always have your back.”

“My first line of defense is myself, Prosecutor Edgeworth. After all, I am a police officer, fully trained in combat, also possessing a brown belt in karate if anyone ever gets out of line.” She let out a little laugh. “But what’s this about you not being around? Don’t tell me you’re jetting off again! Didn’t you only get back into town just a few months ago?”

“That was the primary reason I wanted to see you.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Within less than a week, I’ll be going back to Europe to tie up some loose ends. Mr. Wright and Miss Fey are accompanying me as well, although I believe they’ll be returning to the States sooner than I will.”

Ema’s eyes turned into golf balls at this astonishing news.

“Gah! Please tell me you’re joking!” She emitted a plaintive wail. “You’re all leaving me alone – at the same time?! I’m going to be left to fend for myself in suffering the likes of Tweedlescreechy and Tweedleslimy?!”

Despite the comical nicknames bestowed upon Winston and Gaspen, Miles could detect genuine distress in her tone and was uncertain how to respond. Even though he liked Ema very much, he wouldn’t say he was overly close to her, beyond a friendly working relationship. She shared a much closer personal relationship with Phoenix, whom the attorney very much wished was present at that moment to help him handle this situation!

Uncaring that her friend still hadn’t replied, the detective continued her cantankerous diatribe.

“Can I just give you a shortlist of things I would rather endure than have to deal with Mr. Sleazebag McGuilty a.k.a. Gaspen Payne?!” The science enthusiast cried. “I’d rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face. I’d rather rip out my intestines with a fork. I’d rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades than endure one moment alone with him! Just ten minutes in his oily, smarmy presence gave me the inexplicable need to go scrub my flesh raw in the most scalding shower I could possibly tolerate!”

The logic enthusiast simply stared at her in slightly uncomfortable silence.

Suddenly, Ema realized that she had behaved in the most mortifyingly unprofessional manner possible, around a man she had admired and revered for the past decade of her life!

She clenched her eyes shut to temporarily block out what she knew would probably be the dignified attorney’s disdainful expression, and dreadfully wished for the ground to open up and swallow her.

Obviously, the pain of catching Klavier getting his sticky fingers caught the Candi dish earlier that afternoon had shaken her up more than she cared to admit – not that it made her unsuitable behavior and rancorous eruptions any more excusable!

“Please excuse me, Prosecutor Edgeworth.” She dug her fingernails tightly into her palms in vain efforts to halt the sting of humiliated tears beginning to prick at her eyelids. “I haven’t been myself today and I’ve no idea what just came over me. I give you my word I will never behave in such an inappropriate manner again.”

Noticing he still hadn’t spoken, she dropped her head towards her lap and allowed her long hair to fall forward over her face, fervently praying he wouldn’t see the stray tear that was rolling down her cheek.

The stillness in the room continued, and Ema could only assume she’d made her hero so uncomfortable that he’d discreetly left the room in a polite effort to allow her to regain her bearings in peace.

Therefore, she jolted sharply as she felt the light brush of soft cotton being pressed against her knuckles and peering upward, saw that not only had he offered his ever-present crisp white handkerchief but that the normally somber grey eyes wore an expression of benevolent sympathy.

“Thank you kindly,” she whispered, gently dabbing at her eyes. “I can’t apologize enough for acting in such a churlish manner… Especially around you. All I’ve ever wanted since meeting you and Mr. Wright were to become a forensic scientist and help the two of you out, and prove how grown-up I am now… yet here’s me regressed to an even worse state of childishness than you even saw in me as a teenager!”

Miles spoke at last and lightly patted her hand as he did so.

“We are all just children of varied ages, evolving and growing through different stages, Detective Skye. Moreover, at the end of the day, we are all human. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m certainly not holding anything against you at all.”

Ema dully eyed the strong, well-manicured hand as it gave hers one more consoling pat before pulling away, and realized with a pang that there’d been a point in her life when she would’ve given her eyeteeth to be in such propinquity to Miles Edgeworth – never mind feeling the sensation of his skin against hers! – as she had been so wildly infatuated with the handsome prosecutor as a teenager.

But the damn fop had ruined that forever.

Now, instead of the wild rush of tingles she had always associated with being in the barrister’s formidable presence, she felt comforted, not concupiscent, and still more than a little embarrassed.

“Prosecutor Edgeworth, can ask you something?” She asked quietly.

He nodded.

“I don’t mean to get too personal, and please forgive me if I am…” She looked away shyly. “But have you ever let your guard down in your life with someone who perhaps didn’t deserve it, and it hurt you so badly that you can’t even imagine doing so again, ever?”

The logic genius knew he should have been more taken aback by the question, which was much more of a personal nature than his friendly work relationship with the brunette would’ve normally allowed. Nonetheless, he was not affronted, considering how out of character she had been acting just now. It didn’t take a round of logic chess to determine that her entire game was off because somebody had recently hurt her very badly, and she was desperately seeking some sort of kindred spirit at the moment.

The problem was not so much that he didn’t feel close enough to Ema to bare his soul. It was the fact that aside from Phoenix, and once upon a time, Franziska, and in another lifetime, to a slightly lesser degree, with Lana, Miles Edgeworth kept his heart and emotions under guard at all costs from everybody. Ergo, he had no idea what to say, even though he was hardly a stranger to heartache.

Sometimes you think you’re giving a person the world but you’re not. Sometimes your world is not theirs. I loved a woman who had opened up a whole new world to me but didn’t love me enough to stay in it. She came and left like a shooting star, yet still, I wished upon her.

How Miles wished he could tell his forlorn friend these words.

I have a habit of falling in love with souls who have yet to be at peace with their bodies, their minds, and their weaknesses. I tried to build them, to find the parts of them missing in me. I ended up with holes in my chest. We share our lips with strangers just so we can fill a hole with someone who is now a stranger. I don’t know how I could ever deal with her now, in any sort of detached manner, after all, we’ve been through. How do you go back to being strangers with someone who has seen your soul?

“I am not going to pry into what prompted your query, Detective Skye, although I can tell you this much about the people who come and go in your life: Never blame anyone. Good people give you happiness, bad people give you experience, unkind people give you a lesson, and the best kind of people give you memories.”

He met her gaze levelly.

“I can also tell you to stop kicking yourself for letting your guard down because it ended up being a lamentable decision. The best advice I can offer you henceforth is to trust your gut. Your brain can be fooled and your heart is an idiot. The gut can’t lie. Does that make sense, even though it has no logical or scientific foundation?”

It was Ema’s turn to nod, and her trepidation melted away as she caught the slightly teasing inflection in his cadence.

“New beginnings are often described as painful endings, Detective. Such is life. But there is something else I wish to tell you about life: the prettier the garden, the dirtier the hands of the gardener. If you can survive this world without getting burned, betrayed, destroyed, or loathed, you have not really lived.”

“I guess that’s the way life is. Sometimes you’ll stumble and fall until you find your footing.” Subdued green eyes met compassionate slate ones. “Sometimes you have to get a little bit lost until you end up where you want to be.”

“That’s exactly it. Now I’m going to tell you something else, and I would prefer if this didn’t go outside the walls of your office.”

He chose his words carefully, uncertain how much he felt secure divulging in his efforts to comfort.

“Assuming I’m not mistaken in my assessment of your plight, I can safely tell you that yes, I have been where you are now. And it hurt like hell. I still think about her. But I don’t say it anymore.”

Ema was beyond floored. One, that a man could somehow convey so much – yet say so little. And two, she had to seriously question the sanity of any woman that could willingly break the ever-dreamy Miles Edgeworth’s heart!

“Did you feel really stupid afterward for putting yourself out there like that?” She asked softly. “Did you ever get over that hurt? Or have you sworn off taking that sort of risk, ever again?”

Miles stared down into that earnest visage and realized that more than anything in the world, he wanted to see the familiar spark once again return to those formerly twinkling, inquisitive, sea-colored orbs. She was too callow, too jejune, to already have such a jaded, dejected spirit.

He wasn’t sure if he was being completely selfless, as, in the act of trying to soothe Ema Skye’s soul, he hoped to bring some peace to his own. But he knew that he would hate himself if he didn’t at least try.

“Detective Skye, despite everything, I can honestly tell you that verily, I want very badly to be in love again, which is why I am in no position to look for it,” he stated sincerely. “But for you … I can say with utmost sincerity that I hope you find the kind of love where a single touch can calm your tormented soul. Don’t ever lose hope, because tomorrow could be the someday you have been waiting for.”

If he’d been Phoenix Wright, Ema would have dove over the desk, right into his arms, and hugged Miles Edgeworth like there was no tomorrow – that was how uplifted she felt at that moment by his kind words and this overall wisdom-filled exchange.

Alas, he wasn’t Phoenix, an affectionate long-time friend who wore his heart on his sleeve. He was Miles, her schoolgirl crush (now mildly resurfaced), who kept his own heart under lock and key. It must have taken a superhuman effort to even allow her to see this slight glimpse of his rare, softer side under his stern veneer, and with all her heart, Ema positively adored him for it.

Even if respecting his boundaries meant she couldn’t express her gratitude in the way she yearned to!

“Thank you, Prosecutor Edgeworth.” As the lawyer turned to leave, she cast him a grateful, heartfelt smile that thawed most of the ice protecting Miles’s heart. “Thank you for making me feel like I don’t have to feel too bad for allowing myself to have been … stupid. Who says you have to be smart all the time, right?”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Detective Skye.” He paused at the doorway and shot her a disarming grin, unaware of how appealing it made him. “For one thing, you’re still smarter than most, which is why I enjoy your company and respect you as a colleague. As anyone who knows me can attest, I have little patience, and even lesser tolerance, for idiocy. Also, I’d like you to keep one more thing in mind. No matter how stupid you may ever feel, remember: Little Red Riding Hood couldn’t figure out that a talking wolf in drag actually wasn’t her grandmother!”

Ema blinked as the words sank into her flabbergasted ears, then clapped a hand over her mouth to suppress a squeal of delight.

“Prosecutor Edgeworth!” She giggled. “Did you just … make a joke?!”

“Keep that under your hat as well, Detective.” Miles’s eyes held a wicked glint as he held a secretive finger to his lips. “After all, I do have a certain reputation to uphold!”

LeAnn Rimes- Right Kind of Wrong 

Paula Abdul – Promise Of A New Day