166 The King Of Wishful Thinking

I was told that it’s been a long time
no one knows where you are
Tired of waiting for me,
one day you left me
I was told that you suffered
and never forgot me

My love, that’s life, it’s just like that
Because for not having loved you enough, I lost you
And today, I regret it
You see, time just confirms
that love is something you never can play with
Love is a feeling

It hurts to think
you don’t love me anymore
It hurts even more
to know that tomorrow doesn’t exist anymore…
My love, that’s life, it’s just like that
I played with love, and I lost you
And now, I go back home, alone

I was told that it’s been a long time
no one knows where you are
Tired of waiting for me,
one day you left me
I was told that you suffered
and never forgot me

Miles Edgeworth
High Prosecutor’s Office
July 12, 2026, 12:33 PM

Some things in life defy logic. I would think at this point in my life, I’d have learned to suspend disbelief and finally come to terms with the fact that absolutely nothing is set in stone, either with anything I’ve ever grown up believing in, or reckoning to be true.

Miles had witnessed spirit channeling on several occasions now and was therefore aware that such a thing was not the mere lunatic nonsense he had once dismissed it to be. Both Pearl and Maya Fey’s otherworldly powers were no farce, and indeed the real deal.

Therefore, knowing what he did about the spirit medium’s inexplicable mystical capabilities, and as inconceivable a notion as it’d seemed to have nothing but the premonitions of a dead psychic’s warnings to go by, Miles had known instinctively everything Mia Fey had told him would somehow prove to be true. With regards to the Dark Age of the Law, and implied corruption, both with the Minister of Justice and the Prosecutor’s Office itself, it all warranted further investigation on his behalf.

So then why was he still so thunderstruck when the world as he knew it, despite the foreshadowing given by his best friend’s deceased mentor at Larry and Iris’s wedding reception, had come crashing down around him two days ago, yet again?

Because I didn’t want to believe it could be true. Even though I knew Mia would never steer me false, a part of me was pitifully hoping against hope that she was merely trying to distract my forlorn self with more work to delve into, in the unlikely event that investigating a certain wretched Kurain harpy wasn’t enough to keep me occupied and then have nothing better to do but mope about losing Franziska!

“Forget being the one-time King of Prosecutors!” He let out a mirthless bark of laughter. “More like the King of Wishful Thinking!”

I naïvely wanted to believe that after making examples of Manfred Von Karma, Damon Gant, and Blaise Debeste, all power-holding parties involved within our legal administration would be above reproach! Is it our destiny to be forever doomed and led by a narcissist, morally bankrupt, self-serving sociopath with megalomaniac tendencies?

The High Prosecutor leaned back in his leather wingback office chair and shut his eyes as he mulled over the devastating outcome of the State vs. Machi Tobaye trial. It had opened up a Pandora’s Box from hell. On top of that, as the result of all the inconvenient truths that’d unraveled when Apollo Justice had helped convict the true killer of Romein LeTouse, it’d also consequentially and unexpectedly thrust an enormous responsibility upon Miles himself.

Normally any sort of new challenge would have been welcomed by the workaholic attorney, but in light of everything else, it now seemed slightly overwhelming. The legal eagle hated the idea of leaving loose ends, but this latest pile on his plate wouldn’t allow him to partake in anything else, including the very much ongoing sting operation.

Unfortunately, working alongside Phoenix and Maya to further reconnoiter the shady deeds of the scheming fortune hunter, Mildred Latrine, had not only taken top precedence but a lot more of his time this past month than he’d initially estimated it would. Ergo, he’d scarcely had the opportunity to wrap up the investigations of the whole Kurain financial fraud scandal, when all hell had broken loose.

When will the madness cease for good?! He rubbed his aching temples. When will all this mayhem and corruption around us finally come to an end?! If only Wright still had his badge…he would be my ultimate ally in unraveling all this mess!

Miles had been deeply chagrined to discover he’d barely scratched the surface of the unscrupulousness and ill-doings of his fellow peers when, much like the firecracker used in the last case, the ugly truths had exploded around them, leaving nothing behind but carnage and debris in the aftermath. Not only had the young red attorney exposed how ostentatiously debauched things had gotten with the American legal system, but the murder of foreign visitor, LeTouse – and at the hands of a detective, no less! – had thrown a wrench into the entire cocoon operation.

After all, the homicide victim who’d been posing as the mysterious singer Lamiroir’s manager had been no mere Interpol Agent. LeTouse had been their inside man, and Miles, as the planted American land asset, had been the Agent’s sole point of contact. The two men had agreed to get together to go over strategies along with the Borginian’s latest findings right after The Gavinners’ concert. Unfortunately, the bearded man’s unforeseen murder had thrown a monkey wrench into that entire arrangement.

Regardless of how dismissive and contemptuous LeTouse had been towards him and Lana the one time they had met him in New York, he still hadn’t deserved his cruel fate. And as much as his Interpol partner had despised the Borginian for stealing credit for their stumbling upon black-market rhino horn being used as a recreational drug, he’d never wished any ill-will upon the man, never mind an untimely and suffering demise via a .45 caliber handgun’s bullet!

To say that Interpol had experienced “a setback” to the entire seven-year-long undercover case would’ve been the understatement of the century! The worst part was the relentless Lang would never accept how such a thing could have ever happened, or that the legist’s hands were now tied! He was due for a video chat with the irate Interpol head any moment now, something he was anticipating about as much as one would look forward to a month in the dentist’s chair.

The stressful situation was giving him a terrible headache, and he fervently wished Phoenix would hurry up and get there already, so they could finally tie everything together regarding the Dragon Lady. He had been enjoying the welcome distraction of investigating with his favorite ex-courtroom rival and plucky spirit medium. And while seeing the recently reunified pianist with Maya again filled him with genuine happiness for the other man, he’d be lying if he didn’t also admit it filled him with the occasional wistful pang of envy as well.

It’s not very fair of me to feel this way, he acknowledged ruefully. Wright has also suffered and lost so much himself all these years. He deserves to have some happiness and the support of a good woman by his side. Those swains are two of a kind and should have never been apart in the first place. It’s not their fault being around them is an often painful reminder to me of how happy Franziska and I used to be…

He cursed inwardly at himself for allowing his mind to go down that disconsolate path and impatiently drummed his well-manicured fingers on his mahogany desk, now feeling slightly restless.

Since he’d already completed the morning newspaper crossword, Miles blindly reached for the remote to his office stereo and randomly hit a button, hoping some music would help soothe his frayed nerves.

A familiar, up-tempo beat began playing from the speakers.

I don’t need to fall at your feet
Just ’cause you cut me to the bone
And I won’t miss the way that you kiss me
We were never carved in stone
If I don’t listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself

He jerked slightly at the nostalgic stanza.

I’ll get over you I know I will
I’ll pretend my ship’s not sinking
And I’ll tell myself I’m over you
‘Cause I’m the king of wishful thinking
I am the king of wishful thinking

The tea-lover immediately recognized the opening song from the movie Pretty Woman. It had been Katharina’s favorite movie growing up, one of the many inane “chick flicks” which, along with her relentless retro music, the elder Von Karma sister had repeatedly subjected him and Franziska to over the years. Despite being raised in the same pendant, over-achieving house of the perfectionist Manfred, the psychologist had nevertheless inherited the benevolent Minna Von Karma’s latent romantic streak.

I refuse to give in to my blues
That’s not how it’s going to be
And I deny the tears in my eyes
‘Cause I don’t want to let you see no
That you have made a hole in my heart
And now I’ve got to fool myself

He took a huge gulp of steaming hot tea as he unwittingly allowed the piercing lyrics to flood his mind, gasping as the heated liquid burned a searing path down his chest, which now mirrored the resurfaced burning ache of his heart.

I’ll get over you I know I will
I’ll pretend my ship’s not sinking
And I’ll tell myself I’m over you
‘Cause I’m the king of wishful thinking

Dammit, Wright! Where are you? Get your hobo chic behind over here post-haste, so I can distract the disquietude of my ravaged mind from careening down this saturnine path again!

I’ll get over you… I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
But I won’t shed a tear for you
I’ll be the king of wishful thinking

His subliminal urges to the universe and his best friend remained unheard, as Phoenix remained nowhere in sight, and the song ended with its final gut-wrenching verse, which was way too close to home for his liking.

I’ll get over you…
I’ll pretend my heart’s still beating
‘Cause I’ve got no more tears for you
I’m the king of wishful thinking…
I’ll get over you… I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
And I’ll tell myself I’m over you
‘Cause I’m the king of wishful thinking

In a precipitous, uncharacteristic display of frustration, Miles swiftly powered off the music and hurled the remote across the room, where it bounced against the cream wallpaper before landing harmlessly on the cushions of the cerise-colored sofa positioned against the side wall.

He drew in a sharp breath, squeezed his eyes shut, and allowed himself to be enveloped in the surrounding stifling reticence.

Phoenix Wright and Ema Skye
Hickfield Clinic
July 9, 2026, 6:00 PM

Ema sure picks the weirdest meet-up locations for our friendly dinner dates! Phoenix reflected with wry amusement as he leaned back against his friend’s vehicle in the hospital parking lot. It’s been not even a month since I got discharged from this place, yet here I am again already! Yeesh, I hope Karin doesn’t spot me! She was the reason Maya nearly killed me last time! I swear, if I never see this medical prison or its overly-handy nursing staff again, it’ll be too soon!

Luckily, the petite brunette came bursting out the side doors just then, greeting the pianist with a warm hug.

“You just missed the kids,” the smiling detective informed him. “They wanted to see how Lamiroir was faring.”

“Lamiroir?” He furrowed his brow. “That’s the Borginian siren from The Gavinners concert, right? Why would she be here?”

“She was admitted earlier this afternoon because someone attacked the poor thing,” Ema sighed, a distressed look on her face. “She’s going to be fine, but Trucy and Apollo still came by to check up on her. It makes me sick to my stomach! Who would attack a helpless blind woman?”

“Some sort of monster, no doubt,” the pianist murmured as he climbed into the car. “Who indeed?”

He remained lost in thought as he tried to recall some of the case details his daughter and employee had been regaling him with during the last couple of days. It was embarrassing to admit that since reuniting with his lover, he hadn’t had too many opportunities to pay much mind to Apollo’s courtroom trials, as whatever free time he did have, whenever not working, had been spent with Maya, and/or Edgeworth, due to the Mildew investigation.

“Well look, the diva’s back in her room already,” Ema noted, jutting her chin towards a ground-level window as they slowly drove past it. “I guess she was too tired from the stress and recovering from her head injury to want to visit with Boy Wonder and his assistant for too long. She’s a pretty lady, isn’t she?”

The patient had just been administered some medication, which had been placed by her bedside table. As the curious Phoenix craned his neck to peer through the open curtains of the windowed room, he saw the mysterious singer raise a hand to pop the pills into her mouth. The actions caused the long sleeve of her cloak to fall back, exposing one slender wrist, while with her free hand, she discreetly lifted the translucent veil that masked the lower part of her face, revealing the ethereal porcelain visage beneath. Her flawless features perfectly harmonized with her startling, albeit tragically sightless, wide-set blue eyes.

Holy jumping mother of God in a sidecar with chocolate jimmies and a lobster bib!

Phoenix’s lips parted into a wide O as he did a double-take, right before his head fell back gracelessly against the passenger headrest with a heavy thunk.

Fortunately, Ema had been too busy focusing on driving towards the exit to have noticed her friend’s dumbfounded expression. Phoenix hastily attempted to morph back to his customary inscrutable countenance, yet failed miserably, as she suddenly swiveled her puzzled teal eyes towards him.

“Um, hello? Earth to Mr. Wright?”

The science enthusiast cast him another quizzical sideways glimpse, now noting he hadn’t answered her prompt, and quirked a teasing grin as she saw his saucer-sized orbs.

“I hope you know that you were just privy to a very elusive peep of the famous songbird sans mystery veil, Mr. Wright! But feel free to pick your jaw off the ground any day now! I mean, sure, Lamiroir is a beauty, but get a grip! Aren’t you a spoken-for man?”

The poker champ struggled to come up with a believable fib for his all-too-telling reaction to the singer, but his brain cogs couldn’t turn fast enough to take in the information his still-staggered eyes had observed.

Hot diggety, dagnabbit! That unmistakable hidden bracelet! It has a twin! Those eyes… I know those eyes! They’re my daughter’s eyes! And that face – I’ve seen it in photos! Lamiroir is no mere singer! She’s… Thalassa Gramarye! Apollo and Trucy’s long-lost, so-called dead mother!

He slumped in his seat as he tried to digest all this, feeling slightly queasy at the magnitude of this latest discovery, which was only another layer of deception added to the mountain of Gramarye secrets he’d be forced to keep.

Some bastard tried to kill my daughter’s mother. Apollo’s mother. But why? I recall the kids telling me the siren lost her memory, along with her eyesight. She just woke up one day, reborn as Lamiroir, ergo she has no idea or recollection of who she truly is! So why would anyone want to hurt her?

Before he could utter some sort of feeble excuse about his bizarre behavior, Ema, who’d been rummaging through her purse to locate her wallet to pay for the parking, suddenly let out a gasp of dismay.

“Holy cripes on toast and criminalities!” The chocolate muncher exclaimed, clapping an aghast hand to her cheek. “I am missing one of my bags of Snackoos! Grrr! How can this be?! I didn’t whip that many at the fop this week, did I? Ooh! I know! I must have left it behind at the Sunshine Coliseum while investigating in one of the dressing rooms!”

She shot Phoenix a sheepish grin, her earlier query mercifully forgotten.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Wright, but do you mind if we make a slight detour en route to our dining destination? I need to return to the scene of the crime!”

The poker champ found his voice at last while dragging together the rags of his composure.

“Er, sure, no problem Ema.” He forced a smile. “It’ll be a nice nostalgia trip for me to be checking out investigation grounds again! We may even find more evidence to help out Apollo which may have been overlooked, right?”

She playfully stuck out her tongue in response. They both knew full well that as an officer of the law, her bias should have been on the side of the prosecution, not the defense. However, considering how much she despised Klavier, her assistance to Apollo in any way possible would be an unspoken given.

There was also the fact that the kind-hearted detective didn’t genuinely believe a slight-built teenage musician was any more capable of firing such an enormous revolver than Phoenix did. It was yet another glaring example of how badly their legal system had gone to hell.

“Maya’s a lucky girl! You’re such a good sport – both about my waywardness and my incurable sweet tooth!” Ema praised gratefully as she sped off towards the concert venue. “And you’re right, it doesn’t hurt to comb for evidence again! Who knows what might turn up when I have a second sharp set of eyes with me?”

Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright
High Prosecutor’s Office
July 12, 2026, 12:40 PM

Phoenix burst into the office and skidded to a halt at the irregular sight of his normally imperturbable best friend leaning back in his plush desk chair, eyes clenched tightly shut as though in pain. He cleared his throat, not wanting to startle the other man, but the DA didn’t even flicker an eyelid in his direction.

“Hey, Edgeworth. Sorry, I’m a little late,” he began gawkily. “I missed the first bus to get here and had to wait another 20 minutes for the next one.”

No response.

The spiky-haired man waited until a couple of more seconds had gone by, but it appeared the man in magenta remained unaware of his presence, and his apology.

“So, I’ve got some great news! Maya and I are now officially done gathering all the actual comparative figures from every single one of the dozens of vendors that’d partaken in the wedding. She had a couple of more shops to hit in Beverly Hills before making her way over here, but she wanted you to know she’s on her way.”

He paused for a breath.

“All we need now is to cross-reference our legit pricing discrepancies against the fudged quotes in the ledger book. From there, it should be a breeze to figure out the corresponding amount of swindled dollars in Mildew’s Cayman Islands bank accounts, which you’ve been scouring. I’m pretty sure we now have everything we need, evidence-wise, to roast the Dragon Lady with her own flames!”

The logic enthusiast jerked up in his chair at the sound of the former defense attorney’s ramblings and blinked several times as his haunted gaze met the pianist’s, whose forehead wrinkled with concern as he saw the dark circles beneath the Chess Master’s eyes.

“Jeez, you look like hell, Edgeworth,” the beanie-wearer stated with the typical bluntness only a close friend could get away with. He tried to coax a reaction out of the dull-eyed attorney by veering to their predictable wisecracking. “Have you been dipping into the sauce again? I’d have thought you’d have learned your lesson at Larry’s wedding! You must’ve had the mother of all hangovers!”

The DA glowered at his friend, the taunting jibes possessing the desirous effect of putting the spark back into his listless, sleep-deprived self. While he knew he looked every bit as drained as he felt, nevertheless, it was most uncouth for a scrofulous man (with possession of zero fashion sense!) to so blatantly point it out, best friend or not!

“Like you didn’t?” The cravat-wearer snapped back peevishly. “If memory serves me correctly, Wright, I wasn’t the only one who Mama Mia felt needed to be cut off that night!”

“I’m most blessed that Maya was a great nursemaid. She made sure I drank plenty of water after the reception and had aspirin handy the next morning,” Phoenix revealed. “It’s actually pretty funny how you, me, and the newlyweds were utter, bleary-eyed messes at their legal ceremony the next morning! We all looked like we had been ridden hard and put away wet! Luckily there were no photographers around your office to capture our non-glory on film, huh?”

“Trust me, Wright, while I appreciated you returning my suit to me in one piece, lucky was the very last thing I felt like!” He replied dryly. “Especially when I had to wake up at what felt like the crack of dawn to arrange the vicar and the marriage license when I’d have preferred to sleep until at least noon! The worst part of nursing my hangover was not being able to treat it with my own preferred remedy choice!”

“Oh?” The hobo inquired. “What would that be?”

“I’m a firm believer in hair of the dog,” the counselor answered. “Instead, I was forced to endure Hendricks’s wholesome, hearty alternative remedy of a greasy English breakfast! I normally prefer only tea and a crumpet for my first meal du jour, but my pushy manservant insisted I intake his artery-clogging homemade fare. It consisted of bangers, bacon, fried grilled tomatoes, mushrooms, tea, toast, and marmalade – along with baked beans and black pudding!”

“Ugh, Maya told me about the horrors of black pudding when she went to England last year!” Phoenix shuddered. “Although it still sounds like you ate better than me! I’d have loved a hearty morning feast, but barely had time to make myself a cup of black coffee on the java maker in our hotel room! There was just no time for us to eat the offered breakfast there, because….er…reasons.”

Miles bit back a knowing smirk, knowing exactly what the reunited lovebirds had opted for during their last moments together instead of food!

“Um, then I hopped out of the taxi, which was already taking Maya back to Kurain, to meet up with you here, where I had to be an official wedding witness in my track pants!”

“Stop your grousing, Wright! At the risk of sounding crass, seeing as how I was the only one of us three childhood chums who went to bed that night with only a splitting headache as my sole company, and then a bossy British butler as my wake-up call, forgive me if I don’t cry for you, Argentina.”

“Well, you still did manage to make out better than me, since you probably got to go back to bed immediately after the legal ceremony!” Phoenix protested gamely. “Whereas right after leaving here, I had to go act naturally in front of Apollo and Trucy at the courthouse before day three of the State vs. Wocky Kitaki trial! This was despite my incorrigible daughter opting to test how good Daddy’s poker face was after hardly any sleep and too much to drink!”

Phoenix Wright and Trucy Wright
District Court, Defendant Lobby No. 2
June 17, 2026, 9:52 AM

Phoenix barely hid a smirk as he sauntered over to his daughter and her secret half-brother in the lobby. The slouched-shouldered Apollo appeared to be positively exhausted. He was telling Trucy how he’d barely slept two hours, with the bubbly magician cheerfully reminding the red attorney not to worry, because even though he hadn’t had any Zzzs, he still had her … as well as the Amazing Mr. Hat!

Such a supportive little sister! The poker shark smiled to himself as he strolled up to them, deciding to keep his visit short and sweet upon spotting the visible shadows beneath Apollo’s eyes as he drew nearer.

The poor kid. Defending a recalcitrant, ungrateful punk with an IQ of room temperature is taking its visible toll on him. So it seems like none of us guys got much sleep last night – albeit for entirely different reasons! The pianist chuckled inwardly. Although to be frank, out of everyone, it would seem I have the least cause for complaint about my lack of slumber last night … except for maybe Larry!

“Good luck today, Apollo,” the card shark ventured as he came up from behind. He purposely kept a neutral tone, knowing full well the younger man, despite being his employee, still held him in some wary contempt over the whole forged ace incident.

“Th-That voice…” The horned lawyer spun around, his mouth dropping open in surprise.

“Heya,” the beanie wearer greeted the spiky-fringed boy with his most benign smile, not wanting to let on how much he’d overheard. “Get any sleep?”

“Mr. Wright!” Apollo croaked, his Bambi orbs nearly bulging out of his head upon sight of the pianist, whom he’d last seen as a bandage-footed patient at the hospital.

The rookie’s nonplussed reaction indicated to the card shark the magician had remained close-lipped regarding her awareness that her father was no longer at the Hickfield Clinic, and presumably kept the knowledge about his other personal affairs undisclosed as well, which suited him perfectly fine. Until Apollo learned to trust Phoenix implicitly, he saw no need to let the younger man know too much about his private life, beyond a need-to-know basis.

“I was going out of my mind with boredom, so I signed myself out earlier today,” he lied glibly to the defense attorney, in response to the unspoken question about what he was doing there. “Somehow, that place makes fake piano playing at the Indochine pasta joint seem almost fun!”

Apollo still looked entirely flummoxed by his presence, so Trucy wisely chose to change the conversation topic to a subject that would benefit all of them.

“Daddy! Do you know who Prosecutor Gavin’s witness is today?”

Apollo eyed his assistant skeptically, obviously thinking the question to be an inane one to ask a disbarred defense attorney.

The ex-Ace Attorney bit back a smug grin.

As a matter of fact, dear boy, considering my best friend is a High Prosecutor and always one step ahead of everybody in the court system, it just so happens that I do know! But I think I’ll mess with you a little bit, simply because your expressive facial expressions are so dang comical!

“Take a guess!” He intoned mysteriously.

“Hmm…” Trucy tapped her chin thoughtfully. “How about Little Plum?”

“Ah ha ha!” Phoenix snickered and shook his head. “That Sherman tank of a mom? Nope, guess again.”

“That’s too bad. You know, speaking of moms…”

A mischievous twinkle flickered in the teenage girl’s azure orbs as she bounced on her heels.

“You need to find me a new mommy one of these days, Daddy!”

Apollo simply gaped at the magician, obviously more taken aback by her brazen candor with her father than the older man’s impromptu appearance at the courthouse. In his newly stunned state, the Clarion of Revelations missed the knowing glance Phoenix and the magician exchanged.

The ex-attorney was keenly aware his daughter was cognizant of his reconciliation with his former ex. After all, she had been the one who’d had his belongings and Maya’s stashed away jewelry delivered to the hotel last night – and who knew what other involvement she’d shared with Pearls in their reunion?!

However, that certainly wasn’t the sort of thing Phoenix was about to get into with an employee around, even if he was family. Not yet, anyway.

“It’s barely morning and you’re at it already, Trucy!” He laughed good-naturedly. “Ah ha ha ha ha ha! At least wait until Daddy’s had a few more cups of coffee in him before you start your daily Spanish Inquisition!”

“I’ll grill you again at dinner then!” She winked and tipped her hat at him.

Phoenix grinned right back. Christ, he loved this kid, even though she had zero respect whatsoever for child/parental boundaries or privacy!

Apollo simply stared at both father and daughter with a mystified expression.

OK, see, this is why I don’t buy their “father-daughter” relationship!

“So, Mr. Wright! Do you know who the prosecution’s witness is?” He asked hopefully.

Relenting, at last, Phoenix revealed that Wocky’s fiancée, Alita Tiala, would be the one testifying, much to the perplexity of both siblings. Apollo seemed quite troubled by this report, but there was no more inside information the card shark could offer him.

Besides, he seriously needed to get some sleep! His insatiable nymphomaniac lover had left him feeling more worn out than a three-armed tobacco picker on a blistering hot day pining for a cold glass of ice water!

Nodding brusquely, the former Ace Attorney bid the perceptive pair adieu, then turned and exited the courthouse.

Back in the lobby, Trucy was attempting to bolster the rookie’s drooping spirits.

“Well, not to worry, Polly!” She trilled. “I’ve got my panties back!”

“Gack!” Apollo cringed as he felt his cheeks grow warm. “Again with that? What is it with everything always coming back to your magical underwear?”

“Not underwear – my panties, Polly! Get it right! And don’t you knock my panties! They’re my stock and trade!” Trucy boasted, tittering at the awkward expression on his mien which surfaced whenever her signature prop was mentioned. “If we can’t find a killer, I’ll just pull one out of there!”

Jesus Haploid Christ!

Apollo’s horns drooped as he clapped a hand to his face. This was promising to be a very long day already, and it wasn’t even 10:00 in the morning yet!

“Let’s not and say you did?!”

Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright
High Prosecutor’s Office
July 12, 2026, 12:51 PM

“Wright, I do believe, based on the story just you’ve told me, that Trucy has now joined Pearl as the co-owner in the future upcoming Ace Matchmakers Agency,” the magenta-clad man drawled, his lips twitching as he fought back a smile. “I do believe those two best friends are also shipping soulmates.”

“No doubt!” Phoenix chortled. “Although is there any further matchmaking required on their behalf, now that Maya and I are officially back together? Those two need another project already! Perhaps they can shift their focus on hooking up young Mr. Justice with a new love interest? I’d suggest Ema, but all she does is pelt the kid with Snackoos as she does with almost everybody else!”

“In the meantime, perhaps your investigative daughter could hone her sleuthing skills by helping her Uncle Miles solve a particular mystery?” The barrister affixed the card shark with a pointed glare. “Since I was so rudely interrupted by you shamelessly seizing yet another opportunity to begin prattling gleefully about your rediscovered romance…”

“Sorry!” The phony ivory tickler flushed slightly, knowing he’d been as giddy as a love-struck teenager since reconnecting with his swain and that his friend was probably sick to death of it. “Carry on then?”

“Ahem. I never did get a chance to elaborate about why, the morning after the reception, I was forced to settle for a nauseatingly large breakfast, rather than my preferred typical antidote of hair of the dog, did I?”

“Er, no, you didn’t.” The anterior defense attorney squirmed uncomfortably under the scrutiny of the unwavering slate stare. “My sincere apologies for monopolizing the conversation…”

“I’m very particular about my alcohol, Larry’s last-minute nuptials notwithstanding when I profess to indulge in whatever concoctions would obviate me from my surroundings most expeditiously.”

The theft victim spoke pleasantly, although his eyes never left his friend’s suddenly apprehensive mien.

“I am an avid wine connoisseur and collector, which is why it was my key beverage of choice that night of the reception. The following morning, upon waking up and feeling like death warmed over, I decided the time had finally arrived to dip into my vast collection. I fancied a nip of my exclusive vintage port, which I’d been saving for the longest time. The name of the coveted Portugal vino was Quinta do Vallado Adelaide Tributa, and costs about $3700 a bottle.”

Vivid recollections of the host gift he and Maya had presented to the Gumshoes a year and a half ago at Christmastime, which he’d nipped from the wine cellar, figuring it would never be missed amongst the hundreds of other bottles, sprang to Phoenix’s guilty mind. He knew where this was going!

The former lawyer gulped, running his finger along the neckline of his T-shirt beneath his hoodie, which suddenly felt as though it were suffocating him.

“Wow! That’s, um, pretty steep for one lousy bottle of wine! Kind of a rip-off! I mean, what is wine anyway, except grape juice that burns?!”

“It’s one of my indulgences,” Miles said primly, his voice still neutral even though his gaze hardened. “We are all entitled to have the occasional vice. Yours is your questionable passion for grape juice, whereas mine is with vintage wine – in this case, a rare port from 1866. You can’t imagine my astoundment, upon requesting Hendricks to fetch me the bottle, when I was informed, despite being away from the country for seven years, that he was unable to locate it.”

“Is that so?” The poker champ’s mouth felt dry as he attempted to play dumb. “Does that mean your butler decided to help himself during your lengthy absence abroad?”

“Hendricks is so English that despite being in America since before I was born, he still refers to elevators, apartments, and crossing guards as lifts and flats and lollipop men.”

He smiled humorlessly.

“This also means the only type of alcohol my butler ever indulges in is gin and a small glass of sherry at holiday dinners. Therefore, the likelihood of him drinking from his Master’s exclusive collection would be slim to none. Now, I was wondering about how to solve this most puzzling mystery I shall now dub ‘The Case of The Missing Wine?’ You wouldn’t happen to have any clues to provide that’d be of assistance, would you, Wright?”

Phoenix wished he could disappear into the floor beneath him, as he had no idea how he would ever have the means to replace the carelessly filched bottle, the value of which was easily the equivalent of about three months’ rent!

“Ah, well…” he croaked. “You see, Edgeworth…”

“Hi, guys! How’s it going?”

The out-of-the-blue resonance of an angel filled the room suddenly, causing the immensely relieved beanie-wearer to slump down onto the sofa like a sack of potatoes. The two men’s discomfiting conversation came to an abrupt standstill, due to the impeccably timed interruption of Maya Fey, who chose that exact moment to waltz through the office doorway.

“Sorry, I’m late! I had to get the final missing figures from a few of the wedding vendors who’ve been out of town till now!”

The flustered ex-attorney smiled gratefully at his girlfriend for her flawless timing. Maya blew him a kiss in response, while Miles tried not to roll his eyes.

It’s official! He heaved a disgusted sigh. Phoenix Wright truly is the luckiest sonofagun in the entire world! We both know there’s no way I’m going to rake his wine-pinching posterior over the coals now, as I’d never make a scene in front of a lady!

The Kurain Master swept in grandly, blissfully unaware of the catastrophe she’d just averted, and flopped down onto the couch beside her inamorato, pecking him lightly on the lips as she did so. Then she greeted her friend with one of her megawatt beams.

“Talk to me, you gorgeous guys! What have I missed so far?”

Before either man could answer, the office computer radiated a loud ringing sound. Right on schedule, Lang was making his video call, giving him no choice but to answer.

“Wright, Maya please excuse me,” he said curtly, mentally letting loose a daisy chain of swear words in his mind before answering the live chat request of the irate-looking Wolf Man. “It’s my superior from Interpol.”

“Should we leave and give you some privacy?” The diviner offered, already rising from the cushions and tugging at Phoenix’s arm. “I’m assuming it’s all classified information you need to discuss…”

The legist clenched his jaw. In light of everything else he was facing presently, the last thing in the world he wanted was a lengthy, and sure-to-be inauspicious, discussion with the tight-lipped man currently scowling at him on the computer screen. In fact, he’d been counting on the presence of his friends to be his surefire excuse which ensured he could cut things short if need be, as he was in no current mindset to handle any further sort of unpleasantry! Moreover, he was positive Lang was going blow a fuse once Miles relayed that, in light of recent developments which had been hurled at him, he’d no longer be able to partake in the cocoon investigation.

Miles Edgeworth and Shi-Long Lang
High Prosecutor’s Office
July 12, 2026, 1:00 PM

“No!” He answered quickly, holding up his hand to stop the pair from leaving.

His atypical loud outburst caused Phoenix and Maya to eye him strangely, so he hurriedly attempted to sound less frantic and more friendly.

“I mean, no, that shan’t be necessary. Please stay, both of you. It’s fine. Really.”

“Not so fast!” Lang objected. “What the heck is wrong with you, Miles? I’m hardly going to discuss Interpol insider Intel in the presence of civilians! That’s top secret!”

The legist smiled thinly, first at the stormy-eyed Interpol Agent on the monitor, then at the couple.

“Nonsense! There’s nothing that needs to be rehashed that hasn’t been relentlessly dissected already, after all! The good man and I need only to go over the details which unraveled during the Tobaye trial, most of which is already public knowledge. At the very least, it’s certainly no secret to Wright, since it was his employee who brought everything to light! Isn’t that right, Agent Lang?”

“Lang?” Maya perked up upon hearing the name and leaped from the sofa. “As in Shi-Long Lang?”

“Erm, yes…”

“No way! I’ve heard so much about him from Gumshoe! I have to say hello to the man who bravely took a bullet for his subordinate, even though it turned out she was a homicidal maniac!”

The village leader bounced over to the monitor behind her friend within the blink of an eye and waved gaily at the flabbergasted Interpol Agent on the screen.

“Hiya, Mr. Lang! I’m Maya Fey, spirit medium at large! Get it? Tee hee! At long last, we finally meet one of the folks from Miles’s squad! Well, virtually anyway – holy guacamole, has anyone ever told you that you look like a less hairy version of Wolverine?!”

There was a shocked silence following the outrageous question. From his place on the sofa, Phoenix slunk down on the cushions and emitted a low moan of embarrassment, which was echoed by the prosecutor, whilst the staggered Interpol Agent fumbled for a response.

“Er, well…”

The Wolf Man seemed slightly flustered by the unanticipated combination of such friendly effusiveness, coupled with a side of heavy bluntness! He self-consciously ran a hand over the tufts of his superhero Twin Peaks hairdo and smiled tentatively.

“I am sure many have thought it … although no one’s ever really said it to my face…”

“That’s because they’re terrified of your fangs, Wolf Man!” A female voice in the background cut in with a giggle.

Lang glared over his shoulder at whoever had spoken and emitted a very canine growl in response, silencing them effectively, before turning back to Maya, who was beaming winsomely.

“It’s nice to make your acquaintance, too, Miss Fey,” the X-Men doppelgänger said politely. “Miles has spoken very highly of both you and Mr. Wright over the years. That was some video you made. It’s gone viral worldwide, you know! Despite not being a fan of country music in general, I quite enjoyed your vocal tribute to Leann Rimes. I know all the lyrics to the song by heart now, since Kay’s been playing it on constant replay every day for the last month!”

“Guilty as charged!” The female voice from earlier piped up.

The next thing Maya knew, the unsuspecting Interpol Agent had been pushed to the side of the screen, and an ebony-haired young woman, sporting a large key in the middle of her high ponytail, waved enthusiastically at the spirit medium.

“Hi, Maya! I’m Kay Faraday, but you can call me Kay, K? Just wanted you to know I adored your grand romantic gesture, your singing, and the song itself! Agent Lang knows nothing about good music because Leann Rimes is amazeballs! And so were you!”

“Oh my goodness! Kay Faraday! You’re Miles’s former assistant!” The Master delightedly clapped her hands. “I can’t believe we’ve never met before!”

“I know right?” The other woman grinned mischievously. “You would think it was some sort of conspiracy by the powers that be or something! I think it’s because Mr. Wright and Mr. Edgeworth are paranoid about what dirty secrets would be revealed if their two ex-assistants ever got together!”

“Trust me, I gathered a lot of dirt on Nick in the three years I worked with him!” The spirit medium divulged with a wicked grin. “We should get together sometime and compare notes!”

“Mr. Edgeworth is a total geek for Steel Samurai …”

“I am too!”

“I’m more of a Jammin’ Ninja girl, but you’re so cool, I’m going like you despite that!” The Great Thief snickered. “Anyway, Mr. Fanboy in Denial was all excited a few years ago when he met the Steel Samurai mascot…but you should have seen the horrified look on his face when he saw it was Larry Butz under the helmet! It was the same crestfallen expression of a little boy finding out there was no Santa Claus!”

“OMG!” Maya howled. “I wish you’d had a camera! That reminds me of the time Nick and I were investigating the Big Berry Circus homicide. Money the Monkey, collector of all things shiny, stole his attorney badge and then he couldn’t find where it was hidden! The indignant expression on his face, knowing he’d somehow been outwitted by a simian, was priceless!”

“Yup, that’s the woman I love and am going to marry, ladies and gentlemen! As is tradition, she is currently busting my balls to total smithereens!” The psychic’s mortified lover muttered darkly to himself as the two ex-assistants exploded into fits of mirth. “For an encore, she will then proceed to carry the shredded remains of my dignity around in her handbag!”

“You and I have got to get together sometime and compare the notes we have on these two dorks!” Maya was saying presently, oblivious to how red-faced her beau was by this whole exchange. “It would be epic!”

“For sure!” The Yatagarasu clapped a gloved hand to her mouth to muffle a guffaw. “If all their quirks were brought to the other’s attention, you know both these rivals would die of embarrassment!”

“I’m already halfway there!” Phoenix groaned, while his friend simply face palmed for the umpteenth time and Lang’s helpless gaze darted back and forth between the two raven-haired beauties, obviously wondering when and how he’d lost all control of what was supposed to be a strictly business conversation!

“By the way Maya, I love your hair!” Kay chirped. “Especially the beads! Way to accessorize!”

“I love your hair!” The necromancer gushed back. “You’re rocking that key! I bet it holds your mane together so much better than a pencil or chopsticks! What’s it unlock? The key to some lucky guy’s heart?”

“I wish!” The Agent tittered. “You know, I still haven’t learned what the heck this thing is for! Maybe I could figure it out if I ever got time off for good behavior…”

She impishly tilted her head in the stony-faced Lang’s direction, ignoring the flare of his nostrils at the slave-driver implication as a warning sign until they all heard the loud, unmistakable battle cry of the fed-up Wolf-Man.

“HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWL!”

The Great Thief jumped slightly at the animalistic yowl as her boss shoved his way back in front of the webcam.

“OK, that’s enough!” The exasperated Lang-Zi disciple declared. “Kay, I think it’s high time your overly hardworking self took a break.”

“Really? But what about my duties, oh merciful warden?” The Yatagarasu grinned cheekily. “I thought I was supposed to work right through my dinner break tonight since we’d fallen behind?”

“Just go already!” Lang snarled. “A cub who disrespects others soon feels the disciplinary bite of an elder!”

“Whatever you say!”

They could almost hear Kay shrug, completely unfazed by her superior’s bark, which she knew was worse than his bite. For good measure, she poked her head in front of Lang’s vexed mug one last time and waved farewell to the camera.

“It was great meeting you, Maya! Talk to you later Mr. Edgeworth!”

As she moved away from the webcam, Kay laughingly called out her last words.

“Alright, Lang! I’m going! I’m going! There’s no need to crib Mr. Edgeworth’s style and get all icey-glare-y on me!”

The Interpol head removed his X-shaped shades from his pocket with a flourish and slipped them back on as he nodded at the monitor, his authoritative alpha male rank now restored.

“Miss Fey, if you’d kindly let my American land asset have the screen back, please?” It was an order more than a request.

The spirit medium wisely obliged, but she didn’t return to her seat beside Phoenix. Instead, she opted to stand off to the side of the prosecutor’s chair, so she could still see the Interpol Agent’s face, but he could no longer see her.

“OK, so without going into too much-classified details before mixed company,” Lang began. “Items that become evidence should never have any part overlooked! What further information can you give me about the illicitly obtained contraband? Was it utilized?”

“Unfortunately yes,” Miles admitted. “The verboten item used as evidence in the Tobaye case was merely a replica. Before he was arrested, the Minister of Justice managed to ensure that his son, who’d previously been terminally diagnosed with incuritis, had been successfully treated with the illicit goods. I suppose it’s great news that the young boy will live, even though the consequence for his restored health will be that his father shall now be spending the rest of his life behind bars because of it.”

“Well, that’s just freaking spit on your neck, kick you in the crotch, fantastic! So much for tracing the origins back to the supplier of those goods!” the Wolf Man fumed. “Has anybody interrogated Shark Boy? Is it safe to assume that he’s nothing more than a useless pawn out to make a quick buck, and is neither a dealer nor supplier of the coveted Borginian smuggling item?”

“Negative to both,” the chess devotee affirmed, folding his arms across his chest. “Although getting answers out of Detective Crescend may be quite difficult, seeing as how Prosecutor Gavin has been creating quite a fuss. He was quite distraught to have his best friend indicted for murder.”

“Inevitably, all who have evil in their hearts find themselves in Hell. Shark Boy should have thought of that before he murdered one of our finest agents. Tough luck for that pretty boy lawyer! I really couldn’t care less about the pathetic cries of some sniveling … cub! Which is all that Gavin kid is!”

The Interpol leader’s draconian disposition was in full effect.

“One should always know one’s place in life, and in the case of that embryonic rocker, little cubs never do know the real fury of the elder wolves until they try to impede their path to justice. I won’t have anyone stand in Interpol’s way! I need somebody to put the screws to Crescend, see if they can cut him some sort of plea bargain if he’s willing to cough up the information about who he got the goods from.”

“I’ll have the matter looked into,” the legal eagle replied. “Although I’m not quite sure what can be done for the man. Between the international smuggling and homicide charges, the most I could offer Crescend is keeping him from being executed for his crimes. We’re talking minimum life imprisonment, nothing less.”

“I don’t care how you go about it, but I demand the use of any means necessary to extract whatever information possible from that murdering bastard!” Lang ordered. “I need to have the findings relayed to our European ground asset – ah, Miss Debbie Dallas – immediately.”

The Agent’s eyes resembled fiery twin coals, his cadence rife with disgust.

“What a crock! I should’ve stuck to my instincts and searched where the water is deepest. We’ve been wasting our time trotting all around the globe when it seems the contraband was being dealt with within the country of origin – Borginia!”

“Hindsight is 20/20…” Miles agreed guardedly.

It was definitely give me strength time. The lawyer expelled a long breath.

“Agent Lang, there’s something important you need to know. I’m sure you can appreciate that with the incarceration of one of the Criminal Affairs’ finest detectives, along with arresting the Minister of Justice and all the corrupt officials who were appointed and served under him, there’s a great shortage of dependable and trustworthy officers of the courts now remaining…”

“The darkness inside a criminal’s heart can be likened to a monster. There was more than one running afoot, so yes, I imagine there was quite a bit of trash that needed to be taken out,” the other man responded impatiently. “Is there a particular reason you’re bringing this all up now?”

“One of the immediately vacated positions which needed to be filled was Chief Prosecutor,” the slate-haired man asserted flatly, seeing no sense in hiding the news any longer. “I’ve been appointed the position, and have accepted the role. Effective immediately.”

“Just what exactly are you trying to say?” A prominent vein began visibly throbbing on Lang’s forehead. “Why are you telling me this?”

“I regret to inform you that this means, as much as I would love to be in two places at once, my hands are now tied to my new duties here in the Los Angeles legal district.”

He met his superior’s gaze steadily, loath to do this but seeing no other alternative.

“After I look into acquiring some answers from Daryan Crescend regarding his involvement with the cocoon smuggling, it will be the last bit of assistance I can offer the operation. I will be bound to my new role as Chief Prosecutor and unable to do anything else. I’m very sorry, Agent Lang.”

“You’re sorry?!” The Alpha’s eyes nearly bulged out of his skull as he began to sweatdrop. “You’re dropping this crushing weight on me, informing me you’re leaving me in the lurch while completely blindsiding me in the process, and you’re telling me you’re sorry?!”

“This wasn’t a decision I made lightly.” The barrister closed his eyes and sighed. “Nor is this anything personal in the slightest. But I can’t see any other alternative, as I’m desperately needed here at the Prosecutor’s Office, now more than ever…”

“You’re needed by Interpol!” Lang shouted, his face red. “The pack that runs together, stays together! That’s always been my belief, and I’ve done nothing but treat you as a true member of my pack all these years, Miles Edgeworth! Yet this is how you thank me? How could you do this to me?”

Unaffected, the cravat wearer narrowed his eyes at his irate supervisor, not even bothering to mince his next words.

“Only cooperate with those you can trust. Wasn’t that another Lang-Zi motto?” He countered in a dangerously soft voice. “I entrusted you to help me with a very special task months ago, and it has yet to be delivered. So tell me, Agent Lang, how is it that a man with countless resources and tracking capabilities at his disposal still has no leads to the whereabouts of my missing ex-fiancée?”

There was an excruciating silence as the irrefutable statement fell over the room like a dark cloud.

Phoenix aimed an uncomfortable gander at Maya, who was still standing behind the prosecutor. He was seriously wishing they’d gone with her initial instincts and left his friend to take this call in private, as the cloud of tension within that office was presently so viscous, you could have sliced it with a machete.

After what seemed like ages, the Wolverine clone cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry to have gone off on you like that,” he said at last. “But you did take the wind out of my sails with that bomb you dropped on me! As for Franziska, we haven’t forgotten or dismissed your request. I still don’t know where she is – but don’t lose your trust in me. We’ve merely hit a temporary dead end, that’s all.”

Maya’s eyes widened incredulously, and she pursed her lips tightly but remained silent.

“Don’t fret, we’re not giving up until we find her, Miles,” he assured his subordinate. “As for your news…we can discuss it at another time. It’s getting late over here, so I’m going to wrap this up now. Take it easy.”

“Take care, Agent Lang,” he replied civilly, then hung up.

Leaning back in his chair, he rubbed his tired eyes with the heels of his palms before turning guiltily towards his friends.

“I’m sorry you two had to be around not only for all the hullabaloo but that you had to hear my news in such a manner. I swear I was planning on telling you about my promotion right after I ended the call.”

“It’s alright, Edgeworth,” Phoenix smiled awkwardly, unsure of what else to say. “Nevertheless, the courts need someone capable and honest, and there is no one better to be Chief Prosecutor than you! Congratulations!”

“Thank you, Wright.” Miles smiled slightly, then tilted his head towards the silent, perturbed Kurain Master, who was shaking her head, but still hadn’t spoken. “Ah, is something on your mind, Maya? You’re awfully quiet.”

The village leader cast a plaintive glance first at Phoenix, then at her friend, sparks flying out of her dark eyes as she pointed an accusing finger at the computer monitor.

“I suppose I should bequeath you an indispensable, celebratory magatama of your own to assist you in your new job, Miles Edgeworth!” Maya puffed out her cheeks. “Because with regards to not knowing where Franziska is, I can tell you right now, that Wolverine wannabe was flat-out lying through his fangs!”

A/N: Muchas gracias mi hermana dulce, Ilet Moratar, for the chapter quote song suggestion!

Julio Iglesias – Cosas de la Vida (That’s Life)
Go West – King of Wishful Thinking