12 Disbar Mr. Edgeworth

Notes

CT: With how much of a thorn Justine and Sebastian were in Edgeworth’s side during the second, third, and most of the fourth cases in AAI2, I wouldn’t be surprised if they actually sang something along these lines while they were busy planning their next course of action. For this parody of “Kidnap the Sandy Claws”, Sebastian takes on both Lock and Barrel’s lines for two reasons: There wasn’t a fitting third character I could use, and when Sebastian was at his most antagonistic, he had the stupidity of at least ten dunderheaded children.

JP: This was actually the PREQUEL to chapter 10’s “Blaise Debeste” that my unwitting tool arse should have posted first, so things will make so much more sense now (my bad!) but still – as is tradition with my co-pilot, is pretty freaking hilarious!


Disbar Mr. Edgeworth
(Sung to the tune of “Kidnap the Sandy Claws” from
The Nightmare Before Christmas)

{Justine and Sebastian}
Disbar Mr. Edgeworth…


{Sebastian}
Leave it to Debeste,
I’ll do it with mirth.


{Justine}
Your father wants us to collaborate.


{Sebastian}
I’m first-rate,
You’ll think it’s great.


{Justine and Sebastian}
It’s no debate!
Disbar Mr. Edgeworth,
Take away his badge!
Kick him to the curb,
And force him to cadge!


{Justine}
First, we’ll forge some evidence prime,
And leave at the scene of the crime.
And when he jumps to use it now,
We don’t hesitate and bust him big time.


{Sebastian}
No, I’ve got Debeste plan,
To get rid of this pink sissy man.
Let’s cut up his frilly napkin-thing,
And he’ll cry and run away.


{Justine and Sebastian}
Disbar Mr. Edgeworth,
Clean out his office.
Slander all records of him,
And call him a doughface.


{Justine}
Then Chairman Debeste will be able to,
Rule this city with his legal view.


{Justine and Sebastian}
He’ll be so proud, we do believe,
That a good reward we’ll receive.


{Sebastian}
I think we should get a big rock,
Hang it above his door and then,
Knock a lot until he answers,
And turn Mr. Edgeworth into a pancake.


{Justine}
Don’t be so rash, please think.
If we kill him with a big rock,
We could leave an evidence trail,
And be sent straight to jail.


{Justine and Sebastian}
Disbar Mr. Edgeworth,
Shame him on the stand!
Have his closest friends watch,
Him get his hide tanned!

Because Blaise Debeste can make you disappear without a thought.
If we upset him right now,
We’d be scared of his onslaught!


{Sebastian}
Pops’ll be so happy with my deeds,
He won’t make me sleep in the yard with the weeds.


{Justine and Sebastian}
Perhaps he’ll throw a grand party,
And give us cheers so hearty.

We’re his loyal representatives,
Doing every task sublime.
We dare not go against him,
Lest we disappear in the nighttime.


{Justine}
Why must this boy be so dim?


{Sebastian}
I’m not dim!
You’re, uh… slim!


[“Sebastian, please be quiet.” Justine calmly tells her young associate, putting a finger to her mouth to shush the adolescent prosecutor.]

[“No!” Sebastian pouts. “I’m the best, so everything I say is important!”]

[“Goddess of Law, give me strength…” Justine sighs as she puts a hand to her forehead and slowly shakes her lowered head.]


{Justine}
I’ve got another plan, so listen,
One that is quite good, indeed.
We’ll put some child pornography in a box,
Wrapped in tinsel and a bow.
We’ll leave it at his office and hide,
Until driven by logic,
Edgeworth looks inside,
And we’ll have his badge in no time!


{Justine and Sebastian}
Disbar Mr. Edgeworth,
Rake him across the coals!
Show him no mercy,
As we move towards our goals!


Disbar Mr. Edgeworth,
Point out all his flaws!
Verbally lash the man,
Without a single pause!


Disbar Mr. Edgeworth,
Make him disappear!
Take him out of the picture,
And we’ll surely cheeeeeer!

License

Singing in the Courtroom Copyright © by JordanPhoenix and CzarThwomp. All Rights Reserved.

Share This Book

Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *