33 Thief Like Me

Notes

JP: This was the hardest song parody I’ve written to date, what with the different paces and pitches done by the late, great Robin Williams, and as one of the most iconic Disney songs ever, especially from its 90’s golden era, I wanted to do it justice! I hope you guys enjoy the antics of a certain plucky “Great Thief Yatagarasu” Volun-TOLD a certain stoic prosecutor, after rescuing him post Kidnapped Turnabout from AA1, that he was now never gonna rid of her because she was now his new assistant – whether he liked it or not! XD

This goes out to FloraAlice, Akoiya, PurpleHoodedAngel, JoeClone (and his baby bro)

CT: Edgeworth can honestly say without a doubt that he’s never had a friend like Kay. For one thing, she’s the only girl that’s not Oldbag or his adoptive sister who actively seeks to be around him. Plus, Kay is the only assistant in the history of the series that the protagonist has to worry about gaining a criminal record outside of crimes they were framed for. But even though Edgeworth and Kay are so starkly different from each other- he’s a serious, introverted prosecutor and she’s a bubbly, extroverted self-proclaimed thief- but they have a great relationship and a synergy to match that could give Phoenix and Maya’s a run for its money. So does it surprise you that my co-pilot wrote a parody starring Kay that oozes friendship and Edgeworth coming to the slow realization that he has a new assistant?

“Thief Like Me”
Sung to the tune of “Friend Like Me”
from Disney’s  Aladdin

[Miles: Now then, thank you for rescuing me Kay, but I really do need to be moving along … Wait why you following me?]

[Kay: Just where do you think you’re going, buster? You can’t just take off on your assistant all willy-nilly! Is this the way you thank me for helping you escape from being kidnapped?]

[Miles: Assistant? Nonsense! I don’t have an assistant! I already have an overenthusiastic bumbler of a detective who considers himself to be my right-hand man… ]

[Gumshoe: Hey!]

[Miles: *ignores him* Ergo, I do not need to be babysitting a childlike miscreant, aka a self-proclaimed “Great Thief” on top of that!]

[Kay: I’m not that kind of thief Mr. Edgeworth! Like the great Byrne Faraday before me… I only steal the truth… This Yatagarasu will be an invaluable asset to you!]

[Miles: What’s this? The truth?]

[Gumshoe: Yatagarasu?]

[Kay: Good sir, I don’t think you’re fully grasping what “a steal” you’ve got here. So why don’t you just chillax whilst I lay the facts about your new priceless sidekick?]

Well it’s the truth I’m a great thief
And the type that’ll never fail
Your luck’s changed like you won’t believe
Here to ensure you’ll always prevail!
A legend’s got your back now
Some say I’m quite the champ
My badass skills will have you WOWED!
I’m a ninja girl, I ain’t no vamp
Kay Faraday!

Mr. Miles Edgeworth sir
I’m your new sidekick, see?
No limits or borders
Stop that frown!
You will never find a thief like me!
Ha ha ha

Life’s a big turnabout, can make you feel dizzy!
This sidekick you would wanna flaunt
You will never find a thief like me

Good sir, just call I’m at your service
What a team we’ll make, huzzah!
It’s my true wish to serve justice
It’s enough to make you shout hurrah!

I’ll be your extra hand, can even help Gummy!
L’il Thief’s so good, to be da hood
You will never find a thief like me!

Won’t be dismissed
So yeah take that!
When things are amiss
Be there in seconds flat!
I’ll show you proof
Let’s make this clear
This Yatagarasu’s quite the trip
Makes shady guys quiver with fear!

Don’t you object or try to hide
Cuz I got sleuthing flare!
You got me by your side, certified
I’m the loyal gal who’s always there
Don’t matter if you protest or shout
So what’s next case? I really wanna know
You got a list that’s three miles long no doubt
Get on your feet, ready, set, let’s go… and oh

Mr. Miles Edgeworth, sir, we both know you need me!
In depths of night where no birds dare flight
You won’t ever find a thief, never find a thief
You won’t ever find a thief, never find a thief
You won’t ever… find a… thief… like me

You won’t ever find a thief like me, hah!

*bows while Gumshoe applauds*

License

Singing in the Courtroom Copyright © by JordanPhoenix and CzarThwomp. All Rights Reserved.

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