34 Don’t Deceive Me

“Don’t Deceive Me”
Sung to the tune of “Trust In Me” from
Disney’s The Jungle Book

[Matt Engarde never thought that he’d find himself, Mr. Refreshing-like-a-Spring-Breeze, standing in a rundown part of town in the dead of night in front of a dark alleyway. But then again, Matt also didn’t think that Corrida would be such a thorn in his side for so many years. So after letting out a quick sigh, the celebrity knocked on the brick wall of a nearby building in an oddly specific fashion, one that was specified to him over the phone by the man he was there to meet.]

[And sure enough, after the final knock on the wall, the dark alley was illuminated by a single shinning circle, followed by an eerily soothing voice.]

[“Mr. Matt Engarde, I presume.” The voice stated.]

[“Yeah, Dude.” The celebrity replied in the typical airheaded fashion he dealt with all people. “And are you, like, de Killer?”]

[“Indeed I am.” The voice said before its speaker stepped into the light, allowing Matt to see the man’s slender form which was dressed in a nice suit that perfectly complimented the monocle on his left eye. Though Shelly’s most noticeable feature was the line of stitches running right down the center of his face from his forehead to his chin, resembling some kind of mask that could be unzipped and removed at a moment’s notice. “You mentioned over the phone that you wish for me to dispose of a man by the name of Juan Corrida, correct?”]

[“Yeah, dude! He needs to die because-“]

[“I do not need to know your motives behind wanting to see this man dead, Mr. Engarde.” Shelly politely stated, cutting off his potential client midsentence. “As an assassin, my only goal is to kill my target and ensure that my client faces no negative repercussions. Though there is one thing that I ask of you, Mr. Engarde…”]

[“What, dude?”  Matt asked, cocking his head to the side in confusion, to which the assassin responded by singing in a clam, yet threatening tone.]

Don’t deceive me,

Don’t betray me.

Just sit back,

And put your faith in me.

You won’t have,

Someone to rue,

After I,

Am through.

If you know integrity and honor,

You have nothing to fear.

But if you double-cross me,

Your end’s near.

Don’t deceive me,

Don’t betray me.

Just sit back,

And put your faith in me…

[“You see, Mr. Engarde, nothing angers me more than a traitor. And if I were to discover that you had the gall to do just that to me, then… well, let’s just say that it wouldn’t end well for you. So, do I have your word that you will be as loyal to me as I will be to you?” Shelly asked, extending his hand out.]

[“Yeah, totally! You can definitely count on me!” Matt grinned as he shook the assassin’s hand while holding his free one behind his back with his index and middle fingers crossed.]