56 Debeste and von Karma Song

Notes

CT: When it comes to writing “Ace Attorney” fanfics, there are two things I can’t resist: Manfred worshiping Santa like a god, and Blaise doing whatever he can to ruin someone’s good time. That’s why to celebrate the holiday season, I’ve decided to have Blaise dress up as a classic Santa-hating character who likes fire almost as much as he does. Plus, with how egotistical both Manfred and Blaise are, the idea of them writing songs where they’re literally singing their praises isn’t that unbelievable. So with that, I want to wish you all a wonderful holiday season filled with lots of joy and merriment.

JP: I’ve officially accepted any headcanon about Blaise, Gant and Manny that my hilarious partner writes in his sidesplitting FF’s because nobody does them better, or more believable. Plus, despicable fiends like Blaise and Nosferatu don’t ever have friends, they have “frenemies” and this ultimate villain Xmas tune shows a great depiction of their twisted relationship. Who’s the more loathsome? Let us know!


 “Debeste and von Karma Song”
sung to the tune of
“Snow and Heat Miser Song”

from  The Year Without Santa


[It was the evening of Christmas Eve and Manfred was scurrying around his mansion wearing a sweater with a picture of a smiling globe and the caption ‘Joy to the World!’ below it and an uncharacteristically happy grin on his face as he made preparations for Santa’s arrival.]

[However, the veteran prosecutor’s efforts were interrupted when he heard a sudden knock at his front door, which he wasted no time in opening.]

[“How can I be-“ Manfred stopped midsentence, his smile turning into a scowl as he glared daggers at his visitor: Blaise, who was wearing a red shirt and yellow leggings, both of which were coated with glitter to give them a sparkling effect, a clown nose, pointed elf ears which were painted red, a red and orange wig, and a skimmer hat with a red and orange stripe, and ten-year-old Sebastian, whose nose, ears, hair, and hat matched his father’s- the only difference in the Debestes’ outfits was that Sebastian was wearing a yellow jumpsuit that matched his father’s pants- and was holding a boombox that was playing a karaoke-version of Heat Miser’s theme song.]

[However, before Manfred could respond, Blaise started singing his version of the beloved Christmastime song.]


{Blaise}
I’m Mr. Debeste,
I’m Mr. Sin,
I’m Mr. Corruption,
I’m Mr. Dirty Win.


They call me Debeste,
Whatever I see,
Withers and disappears with ease.
I impress even me!


{Sebastian}
He’s Mr. Cool Dad,
He’s Mr. Rad,
He’s Mr. First-Rate,
He’s Mr. So-Good-He’s-Bad.


{Blaise}
They call me Debeste,
Whatever I see,
Withers and disappears with ease.


{Sebastian}
He impresses me!


[“As if that’s hard to do.” Blaise wryly retorted.]


{Blaise}
I never want to see a world that’s free of villainy,
I’d rather have it filled with malice and debauchery!


[“Y’see, there are people who like to be evil, but I really live for it, y’know!” Blaise sneered.]


{Sebastian}
He’s Mr. Handsome,
He’s Mr. Hip Pops,


{Blaise}
Now you’re making sense, Sebastian!


{Sebastian}
He’s Mr. Stylish,
He’s Mr. Always-At-The-Top.


{Blaise}
They call me Debeste,
Whatever I see,
Withers and disappears with ease.
I impress even me!


{Sebastian}
Even me!


[“Even perfect records aren’t safe from me, y’know.”  Blaise sneered.  “Though I don’t think I have to remind you of that, von Karma.”

[“You think you can ruin my Christmas by insulting both me and Santa by dressing up as Heat Miser and singing that ridiculous song? Well, two can play at this game, Debeste!”  Manfred roared before snapping his fingers and yelling into the mansion.  “Miles, Franziska, Code Miser!”]

[Within seconds of being called, 19-year-old Edgeworth and 12-year-old Franziska arrived at the door, with the former holding a boombox that was playing a karaoke-version of Snow Miser’s theme song, as Manfred began singing his own version.]


{Manfred}
I’m Mr. von Karma,
I’m Mr. Kingpin,
I’m Mr. Faultless,
I’m Mr. Perfect Win.


Everyone knows von Karma,
Whatever I see,
Bends to my will with ease.
I impress even me!


{Edgeworth and Franziska}
He’s Mr. Number One,
He’s Mr. Right,


[“Correct.” Manfred smirked.]


{Edgeworth and Franziska}
He’s Mr. Perfect Genes,
He’s Mr. Defense-Attorney’s-Blight.


{Manfred}
Everyone knows von Karma,
Whatever I see,
Bends to my will with ease.


{Edgeworth and Franziska}
He impresses us!


{Manfred}
I never want to see a world filled with victorious defense attorneys,
I’d rather see them defeated and crying before me!


{Edgeworth and Franziska}
He’s Mr. Upstanding,
He’s Mr. Exact,


[“You know it’s true.”  Manfred chimed in]


{Edgeworth and Franziska}
He’s Mr. Nobility,
He’s Mr. Divinely-Backed.


{Manfred}
Everyone knows von Karma,
Whatever I see,
Bends to my will with ease.
Heh… Even me.


{Edgeworth and Franziska}
Even me!

License

Singing in the Courtroom Copyright © by JordanPhoenix and CzarThwomp. All Rights Reserved.

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