108 I Would Break Every Law For You

October 4, 2021

JP: I think it’s fair to speak for my partner CzarThwomp here as am sure he’ll agree that – it’s great to be back! Missed you guys!

As some of my readers may have noticed, I’ve had to re-upload a bunch of my works to be compliant with the site’s rules and regulations. And what better way for this Phoenix to rise again than with my first ever song-fic, “I Would Break Every Law For You” which now has an accompanying story with it that may look familiar to those of you who’ve read Part 1 of Phaya’s courtship from the Turnabout Lawful Love Series, “Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman.”

“I Would Break Every Law For You“
Sung to the tune of
“Grenade”
by Bruno Mars

There was nothing left to say. Obviously, Phoenix had more of a yen for pneumatic blonde waitresses rather than dark-haired spirit mediums – and he’d proven it that night in front of all their friends with his words that Maya was not, in any way, shape, or form, his girlfriend.

She’d figured the martini to the kisser had spoken her feelings to the blue attorney on that issue better than anything she could have said on the matter, and now, much like a BBQ steak, stick a fork in her, because Maya was done.

Raising her chin so nobody would see the tears stinging her eyes, the Burger Queen had just reached the exit doors of the bar when she felt someone clamp their hand down on her arm, stopping her from moving further. Naturally, she assumed it was Phoenix, who she simply wasn’t ready to face just yet until she was able to better digest some of the events of the night in solitude, so she braced herself.

Taking a deep breath, she carefully assumed a neutral facial expression before turning around. But to her disappointment, rather than encountering a pair of beautiful sapphire blue eyes, she found herself looking into very determined slate-grey ones instead.

“Come with me, Maya Fey,” Franziska said firmly, grabbing her hand in a surprisingly vice-like hold and tugging her back towards their table.

“Why? I’ve already said my goodbyes to everyone and told Nick I’d talk to him later!” Maya complained, struggling, to no avail, against the iron grip.

Franziska shot a disgusted look over her shoulder.

“Well, Phoenix obviously is not content to postpone unresolved issues, and he implored us not to let you leave. He also just proved that in this particular instance, he is a lesser fool than you, Maya Fey!”

“Hey!” Maya protested, stung by the words of the woman she’d thought to have befriended earlier that evening. “I’m the one who was completely humiliated tonight, remember? Why are you talking to me like I’m the jackass here?”

Franziska stopped towing then and spun around, her face a mask of disapproval.

“Because regardless of the mistakes he made tonight, Phoenix is obviously eager to try to right his wrongs. You told me you’ve dealt with kidnappers, ghosts, demons…yet you would be so cowardly to run away from the man you love just because you had a fight? That’s not the way adults handle things, Maya Fey. A real woman would put on her brave face, deal with the conflict and be eager to resolve things!” Her voice softened as she saw the tears filling Maya’s eyes. “Because making up can be so very sweet.”

“I know you told me he loves me, Ms. Von Karma, and I want to believe that, I really do! But I can’t – it just isn’t real unless I hear it from Nick. I couldn’t possibly put my heart on the line any more than I already have and have him reject me. I couldn’t bear that.” Maya sniffled. “Oh dammit, now I’m going to ruin the new touch-up job Ema did on me.”

She dabbed at her eyes.

“OK, fine, I’ll come back with you.”

Franziska lightly put her hand on Maya’s back, gently guiding, rather than pulling her, back to their table, just as they saw Phoenix sitting at the piano and speaking into the microphone.

Maya’s eyes widened as she listened to the same man who just earlier that night had declared he shunned any sort of dramatic gestures publicly announce that he was about to put on a performance for her, the birthday girl. The most beautiful girl in the bar. She plopped down into her seat in a stunned daze, replaying the words she’d so longed to hear over and over again in her mind.

Phoenix raised his famous courtroom pointer finger up and directed it right at her. “Maya baby, this one’s for you.”

The first few bars of a strangely familiar song began, as did the murmurs at their table.

“I think he’s playing Grenade by Bruno Mars!” Larry crowed excitedly. “Story of my life! I love this song!”

“I guess his playing isn’t too bad if it’s recognizable,” Gumshoe agreed. “Although I’m not sure why he chose a song about a poor guy who would kill himself over some awful girl.”

“I hope Wright’s singing is better than his playing,” Edgeworth noted laconically, wincing as they heard a sharp off keynote in the immediate opening part of the song.

“Phoenix is most definitely not a better piano player than the slick-blond boy,” Franziska observed with her typical bluntness.

But then the spiky-haired lawyer began to sing. The sound of his surprisingly warm, soothing, on-key voice crooning to the melody of the famous song squelched any and all further criticisms.

Burgers Nick? Don’t say no!

Say you’ll please just give

Oh you eat and I pay

For as long as we shall live

Should have known you were trouble

From the first glance

At those puppy dog eyes

Just can’t say no to…

The tune Phoenix was singing to was exactly the same as that of the talented pop star’s, but the lyrics were all his own.

Unfortunately, they also infuriated the singer’s ex-assistant, who had gone from being touched by having her beauty praised to all The Borscht Bowl tavern to being completely horrified by what she deemed to be words that were anything but complimentary! Hadn’t Phoenix embarrassed her enough for one night? Was this his idea of some kind of sick joke? Well, the joke was on him if he thought she was going to be a spectacle to this public ridicule.

“I’m leaving!” Maya fumed, grabbing her purse. “I don’t have to sit here and listen to him butcher one of my favorite artists while completely making fun of me! Oh yeah, Franziska, he really loves me, doesn’t he? A song about my hamburger obsession? Puppy dog eyes? The romantic stuff of poets indeed!”

She rose from her seat, her eyes burning with barely suppressed tears of angry humiliation. She’d gotten no further than a step from the table when she suddenly felt it.

Crack!

Maya let out a yelp, more in surprise than pain, as she looked first at the red mark in her bare shoulder to the lethal look on the German prosecutor’s face as she brandished her whip, steely gaze fixed on her.

“Sit yourself down this instant Maya Fey!” Franziska commanded, dropping her weapon down to her side but still clutching it menacingly in her hand.

Maya’s eyes were round with shock as she wisely sank down back into her seat.

“I can’t believe you actually whipped me! Are you insane?”

“I have tried being compassionate and understanding with you all night, but it’s been nothing but an exercise in futility and a waste of my valuable breath!” Franziska informed her, with no hint of apology. “I have absolutely run out of ways to get through to you, Maya Fey. I had no choice but to resort to extreme measures – your consistent foolery left me no other option. If that mediocre pianist but surprisingly decent singer up there is going to break his moral code for you one last time and make a fool of himself in public, because of you, the very least you can do is sit there, shut your foolish mouth, and watch him!”

I granted all desires

All you had to do was ask

Knew I’d always gave in, yes you did

I’ve done it all along and I’d do it all again

But what you don’t understand is…

Maya bowed her head at the degradation of being taken to task in such a manner. Even more shameful was the knowledge that the other woman was right. And so, she sat obediently, literally at the edge of her seat, and listened intently to Phoenix’s lyrical voice.

I would break every law for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Send innocents to jail for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I’d cross a burning bridge for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

You know I watch Pink Princess for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I’d endure financial strain

Buying you burgers in pouring rain

Yes, I would die for you, Maya

But would you do the same?

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh

Maya looked up with a start upon hearing this verse. She looked searchingly at both Franziska and Edgeworth now as she whispered, “It actually is true then? He really did almost send an innocent person to jail for me? He honestly did run across that burning bridge, for me? Not for Iris, but for me?”

“I was there, Maya, he really did,” Larry told her. “I begged and pleaded with him not to, but he was hell-bent on saving you. His last words were ‘I need to get to Maya!’ Forget throwing his hand on a blade for you, that man loves you so much he literally nearly died for you.”

“That crazy, stupid, wonderful fool!” Maya breathed, shaking her head in wonder.

“He was in the hospital after falling into that river, Miss Fey,” Edgeworth confirmed. “I had to take over his defense attorney duties because his health was in such peril.”

“Miles was in Europe at the time it happened,” Franziska added loyally. “My fiancé chartered an overnight jet back to the States the minute he found out Phoenix was in the hospital.”

“He didn’t want you to know, Pal,” Gumshoe said quietly. “I guess he didn’t want to have you feel awkward or obligated towards him if you knew all he’d done for you…because he wasn’t sure how you felt about him.”

“He does now,” Larry murmured uneasily, a faint blush on his cheeks. “While you girls were in the ladies’ room, Edgy showed Phoenix that card.”

“I am so sorry Miss Fey, if we overstepped our boundaries. I hope you aren’t too angry at us for our intrusion in your affairs,” Edgeworth looked sincerely apologetic. “As you know, you and Wright were an integral part of me and Franziska getting together, and we’d always hoped to return the favor someday, not that you two made it very easy! And he was being so damn bull-headed, denying that you had feelings for him, even though we all knew otherwise. For some reason, he seemed convinced you only saw him as an older brother figure. Or as an ‘old man’. Short of forcing you to write a confession letter to him, which at the time you would have been most unwilling to do, I didn’t know how else to convince him that his feelings weren’t unrequited.”

“Oh please, don’t apologize, Mr. Edgeworth. Not you. Anyone but you.” Maya fought back the tears of heartfelt affection and gratitude threatening to consume her as she smiled at the handsome prosecutor. “Not after all you’ve done for Nick and me. For what you keep trying to do for us. It must be so hard for you, trying to talk logical sense into two incredibly stubborn people who are both…”

“Complete and utter blathering fools?” Franziska inserted, her kind smile and playful tone entirely taking the sting out of the words. “Who completely deserve each other?”

“If loving Phoenix Wright makes me a fool,” Maya professed softly, her eyes misting over. “Then I never want to be a considered a genius.”

Despite feeling lighthearted for the first time that night, there was a lump in her throat as she listened to the man she loved singing the next verse.

Your Steel Samurai TV show

Makes my brain go numb

But it brings you so much joy who cares if I think that it is dumb?

Woman/child, zany girl

That’s just what you are

Always making me smile whether close nearby or far

“You know,” Larry said thoughtfully. “He’s no Michael Bolton, but this song actually is kind of romantic! I mean, he’s personalized the lyrics specifically for you, Maya.”

Maya didn’t answer. Her heart was too full. Her eyes were clenched tightly closed as she listened to Phoenix’s beautiful voice, hoping nobody would notice the tears of guilt, shame, and self-loathing falling out of them.

I’d endure financial strain

Buying you burgers in pouring rain

Yes, I would die for you, Maya

But would you do the same?

Maya was all but sobbing now, uncaring if she ruined her new makeup.

A silly red dress. I’ve been acting like a spoiled, entitled brat just because he didn’t compliment me on my stupid new dress. And why? Because that was how I was nonsensically gauging his love for me? How could I have been so damn stupid, so blind, not to have noticed he’s been saying I love you, with his actions, for the past four years ?!

In her mind’s eye, Maya could now clearly see each and every way Phoenix had shown how much he loved her over the years. Every single burger, on a daily basis, even though at times he’d only had enough money for just her food, so he’d gone without. Every single children’s Samurai show and movies he’d sat through and taken her to, without any real griping, even when he’d been exhausted from work, just because it made her happy. Fan conventions. Day trips, with her and Pearly, to amusement parks, zoos, shopping malls.

Always on his tab, which she’d always greedily taken. Always without genuine complaint. Not to mention all the times he had kept her out of prison, and then saved her life, the last attempt of which had nearly cost him his.

My body feels afire

Being near you it just fans the flames

You are my heart’s true desire

Why is it you can’t see it, Maya baby?

Maya’s eyes were still closed against her unending tears. She was conscious of someone handing her some napkins to wipe them away, which she did silently, even as her heart kept screaming in response to the lyrics.

I do see it now, Nick, I do! I swear I do! I swear to you on my mother and sister’s graves that I will doubt the morning sun will rise before I ever doubt your love again!

But darlin’ I’d still break every law for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Send innocents to jail for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I’d cross a burning bridge for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

You know I watch Pink Princess for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I’d endure financial strain

Buying you burgers in pouring rain

Yes, I would die for you, Maya

But would you do the same?

“Hey Pal, are you alright?” Gumshoe asked Maya, looking concerned. “Why are you sad? Phoenix loves you so much that he didn’t care if the whole world knew it, which is why he sang this song to you. You should be happy!”

“Yeah Maya, please don’t cry,” Larry begged. “It’s the thought that counts, right? The lyrics weren’t that bad!”

“Silence, you fools!” Franziska ordered. “She’s not crying because she’s sad or she didn’t like that foolish but touching song. Those are tears of joy she’s shedding, not sorrow! I know it is hard for you men to comprehend the many reasons we can cry; we women can be a bit complex that way.”

But would you do the same?

Would you do the same?

Oh, would you do the same

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh…

As the song ended, Maya finally looked up at her friends, her tear-stained face baring streaky eye makeup, a slightly runny nose, and the biggest ear-to-ear grin on the planet.

“You know what guys? She’s absolutely right! I’m the happiest girl in the whole wide world!”