Señor Godot

JordanPhoenix; CzarThwomp

81 Señor Godot

Chapter by JordanPhoenix

Notes

JP: This goes out to my good friend Godot – er, SeñorJava, aka loyal reader/FF writer, Mr_Coffee. It seems only fitting that the unforgettable man behind the mask would get to be the parody inspiration about a song that was apparently (EW! ) a warning about STD’s and the consequences of too profligate with the panty-dropping…😱

But let’s face it, the prosecutie with the most epically, sax-y mood music in the series has probably been responsible for creating some frothing desire in the female masses himself! 😈 😉

CT: After reading this parody for the first time, I couldn’t help but picture Godot’s smug face as he enjoys the sight of Phoenix drenched with burning coffee. Though now that I think about it, this would be a good theme song for Godot. Sure, few songs can top “The Fragrance of Dark-Colored Coffee”, but JP’s parody gets the job done pretty well. After all, one of Godot’s main shticks was scalding Phoenix with his coffee, and the spiky-haired attorney didn’t know where this mysterious new prosecutor came from.

“Señor Godot “
Sung to the tune of
Rednex’s “Cotton Eye Joe”
from the movie The Negotiator

“Sweet tickling fartscuttles, Nick!” The concerned Maya exclaimed to the defence attorney as soon as the court had adjourned that day in the trial of Ron DeLite (a.k.a. Mask DeMasque). “Are you alright?! Do we need to get you to a hospital to make sure you don’t have third-degree burns on your mug from that jerk-face’s mug?!”

“I’m fine, Maya,” Phoenix assured his anxious assistant, shoving away the ice-cold can of Coke his friend was frantically rubbing against his cheeks and chin. “If I can survive a fire extinguisher to the head and the extra salty noodle special at Eldoon’s stand without expiring, a little bit of java sure isn’t going to kill me!”

“Fine, Old Man, have it your way then. If you insist on being macho about needing any first aid treatment… No sense in wasting the best thing to come out of that vending machine since Swiss Rolls!” The spirit medium shrugged and snapped open the tab of the pop can, then frowned as though another thought had hit her. “Still…you should really at least go stick your face into a drinking fountain though! You’re supposed to immediately apply cold water to a burn to keep it from blistering and getting worse!”

“I am not subjecting this face or this suit to any more beverages, hot or cold! I swear, I’m fine, Maya.” The spiky-haired man grimaced at the discoloured handkerchief he’d shoved in his pocket to mop up the aftermath of the latest hot beverage assault by the acrimonious masked prosecutor. “This hanky… Probably not so much though. I think it’s a goner. It will never be white again because no amount of bleach in the world is going to get out such dark coffee stains!”

“The nerve of that bag with which one douches!” Maya fumed, clenching her fists. “Why does he hate you so much, anyway?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

“Did you make yo mama jokes or pour sugar in his gas tank?”

“What the – NO! I’ve never laid eyes on that man before in my life!”

“You wouldn’t know it, evidenced by the animus oozing out of his pores when he’s around you – because Godot certainly acts as if he knows you!”

“I wish I had a clue about whatever I’ve done, or what he thinks I’ve done!” Phoenix shrugged helplessly.

“Well if you never dissed him, or somehow ran over his goldfish…I’m more lost than last year’s Easter egg about this hate-boner he’s got for you!” The psychic tapped thoughtfully at her chin. “I mean, his last scalding words to you before leaving here today were: ‘your defence was weaker than decaf, Trite! Run along and die now!’ So, what’s up his dick hole?!”

“I know as much about the mysterious Latino as you do,” Phoenix sighed. “The man is not only a redoubtable opponent in court but an absolute enigma. I’d love to know even the basics about that man, like: where did he come from?”

“And after court…where did he go?” Maya wondered. “Where did you come from, Señor Godot?”

{Phoenix}