52 You Know From Me
“You Know from Me “
Sung to the tune of “Unknown from M.E”
theme by Knuckles
from Sonic the Hedgehog game
[It was a slow day at the Prosecutor’s Office, so Simon decided to spend it reading a case file for an upcoming trial in his office, which was an otaku’ paradise- several rows of shelves filled to full capacity with mangas, a suit of samurai in the back corner of the room, a bonsai tree in a decorative Japanese pot placed next to Taka’s perch, where the hawk casually stood with its gaze fixed on the office’s entrance, and much more.]
[However, Simon’s day of easy reading was interrupted by Sebastian bursting into the office with a piece of paper in his hand,]
[“Mr. Blackquill, Mr. Blackquill! I’ve got something really awesome to show you!” Sebastian proudly stated as he marched over to his co-worker’s desk, prompting the Twisted Samurai to spin his chair around so that his back was turned to the naïve prosecutor.]
[“I swear, Deworste, if it’s another chapter of that ‘Cory in the House’ fanfic you’ve been writing, Taka will hallow out your head for a new nest and use that story for lining.”]
[“Don’t you worry, Mr. Blackquill. This isn’t a fanfic. I’ve been having Klavier proofread those since he was a rock star and knows what’s cool.”]
[“In that case, what do you want to show me?” Simon asked as he turned his chair back around so he could stare at Sebastian’s smiling face.]
[“You see, I was searching the internet and I noticed that nearly everyone has a ‘Sonic’ OC- Mr. Edgeworth, Kay, that weird spiky-haired guy who Mr. Edgeworth won’t tell me the name of, and pretty much everyone else we know. But no matter how much I looked, I couldn’t find one for you.”]
[“No.” Simon said as his eyes started to widen.]
[“Heck, even I have an OC- Sting the Eel, a cool guy who fires lightning from his hands, plays the saxophone, and wears lots of leather.”]
[“Deworste, please tell me you didn’t…”]
[“What? Create an awesome OC for you? Because luckily for you, that’s just what I did. Just take a look at this sexy yeast!” Sebastian smirked as he placed the paper he was holding onto the desk and slid it over to his coworker.]
[Simon was a man who praised himself for being able to control a situation, using his knowledge of psychology that he learned from his sensei to hide his feelings while also subtly manipulating others to do what he desired. However, upon seeing the drawing, if one could even call it that, he was at a complete loss for words. But could anyone blame him?]
[Before the Twisted Samurai was a picture of Storm the Albatross from the ‘Sonic Riders’ games- a large, hulking, grey creature one could easily mistake for a yeti if not for the yellow beak on his face. However, unlike most OCs which had at least a shred of creativity to them, this one had absolutely none, taking a standard picture of Storm- grey color, yellow gloves, and blackish-grey shoes- and merely adding a sloppy-made black coat that was probably done with the paintbrush tool in Microsoft paint, a white streak on the top of his head, and two little black triangles underneath his eyes on his beak.]
[“Isn’t he Debeste OC you’ve ever seen?” Sebastian asked with a smug grin.]
[“Yes… at being garbage.” Simon jeered before crumpling the picture up into a ball and throwing it in his trashcan, which oddly enough had the stern face of a red-eyed guy with short, semi-spiky black hair taped to it. “What the bloody hell is that thing supposed to be?”]
[“That’s Jailrush the Pigeon.” Sebastian stated with a shaky voice. “He… He went to jail for a crime he didn’t do, so he fought to save his reputation by using his job as a prosecutor to catch the real criminal, just like you.”]
[“Jailrush the Pigeon… JAILRUSH THE PIGEON!?” Simon snarled, leaning forward as he pressed his hand against his chest. “What kind of name is Jailrush? What is he, some edgy teen who thinks he’s sooo deep?”]
[“I-I’m sorry, Mr. Blackquill…” Sebastian whimpered as he bent his baton, trying his best to hold back the tears forming in his eyes. “I was just trying to make him cool like all the other ‘Sonic’ OCs.”]
[“The phrase ‘cool ‘Sonic’ OC’ is an oxymoron, Deworste. Have you ever seen the ‘Sonic’ fan base? They actually make you look semi-competent by comparison. Though what baffles me more than you actually thinking that I like this is why, of all creatures, you chose a pigeon. Granted, I know that even a nitwit like you could see that I have an affinity for birds, but I am a noble hawk, or at the very least a penguin.”]
[“Storm and Jet were the only guy birds I could find in the Sonic cast, so I went with Storm because he’s tough like you. Plus, you have a lot in common with pigeons- they live in cities, you live in L.A.; they flock around people, you deal with lots of people every day; and the biggest one: both you and they get pretty assertive when you want something. But don’t you worry, Mr. Blackquill, I didn’t make Jailrush a moron. After all, he is one of Debeste OCs ever made. Did you see the black triangles under his beak?” Sebastian smirked as he tapped his baton to his hand. “Well, those were tear marks. You see, in prison, Jailrush cried a lot and never bothered to wipe his eyes. Isn’t that deep, Mr. Blackquill?”]
[“As deep and dark as the hole I want to bury you in,” Simon wryly retorted as he picked up the case file that he was previously reading. “Now please leave me office so that I can resume reading my case file and get the horrible taste that you and that OC have left in my mouth.”]
[“Don’t be so tasty, Mr. Blackquill. Why, once you hear Jailrush’s theme song, I’m sure you’ll just love him!”]
[“You… You seriously wrote a song for that thing?” Simon groaned as he facepalmed himself.]
[“Yes, after all, I am Debeste. I based it off of Knuckles’ theme song, so I named it ‘You Know’ because you know who the character is, you know?” Sebastian said with a wink, as if he was under the delusion that he was somehow being mysterious. “And it goes like this…”]
I don’t chat much,
Small talk’s nothing but a bother,
Doesn’t matter,
‘Cause I’m stronger with honor.
The name’s Jailrush,
But unlike Edgeworth, I’ve never gushed,
Never revealed my fandoms and blushed.
I’m cold as steel,
Makes my foes flee and squeal,
Psychology helps me troll like it’s no big deal.
Unlike other prosecutors, I’m not in it for pride,
First goal, find the truth, don’t let criminals hide.
Born with the spirit of a samurai,
The blood of the peekaboo flows inside me.
I live to protect the daughter of my sensei,
From any and all danger and harm.
Look how I’ve managed to restore my good name,
As the Twisted Samurai of dark fame and shame.
Anime, sarcasm, and duty,
Are the three things that help keep me alive.
I march to the beat of my own drum,
No one can clip this bird’s feathers.
Look how I’ve managed to restore my good name,
As the Twisted Samurai of dark fame and shame.
I shan’t falter,
I will take whatever life throws my way.
Put trust in Sensei’s lessons,
And use them for justice.
I shall fight to make the world safe so Athena can thrive.
Even when I’m chained,
Nothing can stop my peerless drive.
I don’t chat much,
Small talk’s nothing but a bother,
Doesn’t matter,
‘Cause I’m stronger with honor.
The name’s Jailrush,
But unlike Edgeworth, I’ve never gushed,
Never revealed my fandoms and blushed.
I’m cold as steel,
Makes my foes flee and squeal,
Psychology helps me troll like it’s no big deal.
Unlike other prosecutors, I’m not in it for pride,
First goal, find the truth, don’t let criminals hide.
Nothing shall pierce my hardened armor.
I don’t need help, but I won’t refuse it.
I’ll work with you for a short time,
Just don’t think that I’ll hold your hand forever.
Look how I’ve managed to restore my good name,
As the Twisted Samurai of dark fame and shame.
I shan’t falter,
I will take whatever life throws my way.
Put trust in Sensei’s lessons,
And use them for justice.
Sometimes you must go down if you want to come out on top.
Even when I’m chained,
I will stand tall and proud.
I shan’t falter,
I will take whatever life throws my way.
Put trust in Sensei’s lessons,
And use them for justice.
I shall fight to make the world safe so Athena can thrive.
Even when I’m chained,
I will fight.
I shan’t falter,
I will take whatever life throws my way.
Put trust in Sensei’s lessons,
And use them for justice.
Sometimes you must go down if you want to come out on top.
Even when I’m chained,
I will stand tall and proud.
The toughest prosecutor in town with long hair,
Honed in prison, surrounded by despair.
Hey, hey, it’s Jailrush,
Always there,
My wit you should beware.
If I see you full of hot air,
I’ll give you the coldest glare.
I was born a loner,
I don’t need a friend.
I work independently,
And when I’m done, I leave.
[“So, what do you think? Pretty cool, right?” Sebastian smirked, completely oblivious to the look of disgust on his coworker’s face.]
[“Deworste…” Simon sighed in exasperation, lowering his head and taking a few deep breaths to keep himself from leaping over his desk and assaulting the naïve prosecutor. “I’ve heard so many idiotic comments come out of that big mouth of yours, but that song has taken the cake.”]
[“But I tried really, really hard on it!” Sebastian pathetically retorted, bending his baton as tears streamed down his cheeks. “Kay said that SHE liked it!”]
[“That’s because Raven Hood was trying to be nice to you since you’re her friend. That, and she has horrible tastes if her love of ‘Jammin’ Ninja’ is of any indication. For instance, you said that I-“]
[“Jailrush.” Sebastian interjected, earning a sharp glare from his coworker.]
[“Yes, Jailrush…” Simon growled with a tone of pure venom. “Has ‘the blood of the peekaboo’. What is that even supposed to mean?”]
[“You see, I heard a lot of people calling you that since you love anime and Japan so much, so I figured that it would fit well.”]
[“You bloody git…” Simon grumbled under his breath as he facepalmed himself. “The term is ‘weeaboo’, not peekaboo. And even if you used the term correctly, you would still be horribly wrong since a weeaboo refers to someone who is so obsessed with Japanese culture that they disregard their own and only serve to make Japanese enthusiasts look bad; whereas I am an otaku, someone who appreciates the Japanese culture for its rich history, colorful folklore, and mysterious traditions while keeping in touch with my own. That’s why I know over 50 Rakugo stories by heart while also being able to respond to you with the dry, cutting wit made famous by my English heritage.”]
[“That’s weird…” Sebastian said as he cocked his head to the side out of confusion, prompting Simon to roll his eyes.]
[“I know that I’m probably going to regret asking this, but why, pray tell, is that?”]
[“I don’t know.” Sebastian shrugged his shoulders before holding is arms out in front of him and making a frame with his hands. “I just figured that peekaboo made more sense than weeaboo since you like Pikachu. I mean, I know that the Wii is from Japan, but doesn’t Pikachu make more sense since its anime? And for that matter, since I like the DS, does that make me a DS-aboo?”]
[“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.” Simon curtly replied before getting out of his seat and walking towards the door.]
[“Classic Jailrush…” Sebastian smirked as Simon passed by him, prompting the Twisted Samurai to scowl at his inculpable coworker.]
[“That abomination that you call a character is nothing like me.”]
[“Yeah he is! ‘Cause you’re done, so you’re leaving, just like the lyrics in ‘You Know’!” Sebastian stated with his arms spread out and his baton held up proudly.]
[“Poor, naïve Deworste…” Simon smirked as he tapped his forehead. “There’s one thing that I do that Jailrush doesn’t.”]
[“And what’s that?” Sebastian asked with an innocent smile.]
[Upon hearing that question, Simon put two fingers to his mouth and pierced the air with a high-pitched whistle, prompting Taka to fly off his perch and dive-bomb the culpable prosecutor.]
[“Help me, Mr. Blackquill! Tell Taka to stop attacking me!” Sebastian wailed as the hawk proceeded to claw and peck at him.]
[“Sorry, Deworste, don’t think that I’ll hold your hand forever.” Simon chuckled as he walked out of his office, leaving his crying coworker alone with his feathered friend.]
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